Secrets revealed
by Linneagb
Summary: When I started my sophomore year, and joined the glee-club, I didn t know that things were gonna change, or that secrets would be revealed, but that is just what happened. A/N English is not my first language, rated T for alcohol, death and mention of teen pregnancy
1. Prologue

Prologue

"Thanks" I said. "When´s the first reherseal?

"The first reherseal is this thursday, at two p.m. But I want the new members to be in the choir room at four p.m. tomorrow."

"I´ll be there" I said, grabbed my rucksack, and started to walk out of the autatorioum.

When I walked towards my street the pain I had in my tummy, got worse and worse. I recognized it t well. It was the same stamachache that hit me every day when I was on my way home. The thought about what was waiting for me at home... I just didn´t want to go home.

**Know it´s short. Please review**


	2. Contract

"So...as you all know. I´m Mr. Schuester. I´m the spanish teacher and the leader of New directions. Anyone have any questions?" Mr. Schuester gazed over all of the new members who had showed up in the choir room.

"No? Well let´s move on." He grabbed a bunch of papers from the piano and started to hand out them

"This...is a contract." He continued. "Sign this, and you have made a commitment to me, about not drinking any alcohol. During the rest of your time in glee club."

"And what if we break the promise?" A dark- haired boy asked.

"See that number at the corner?" Mr. Schuester said. "That´s my cellphone number. Of you break the promise, I want you to call me. And I´ll be there and give you a safe ride home. Yes Lex?"

I had slowly raised my hand to ask something.

"And what if we get in any trouble, without alcohol? Could we call you then as well?"

"Like what kind of trouble?" The dark- haired boy asked.

"I...I m..mean like, if we like, need someone to talk to...or something."

Mr Schuster smiled.

"Yes, you can call me then as well, if you´re drunk, I´ll give you a ride home. If you need somewhere to sleep, I´ll let you sleep at my house. If you need to talk, I´ll listen. And also... the door to my office is always open. Anymore questions?"

No one raised their hands so Mr. schuester let us go

When I walked at the driveway to my house, I could see through the kitchen window, that dad was drunk.

"Hiya dad." I shouted when I came through the door. "How´s your day been?"

"Come here." he shouted. "Why are you late?"

"Cause I´ve joined the glee club" I answered him.

"You...the glee club." he laughed. "You can´t sing"

"Have you ever heard me sing?" I was surprised myself that I answered him, cause I knew what would happen when I did.

"No... I know that you´r a rubbish singer because you´re a useless BRAT."

when he said brat, I could see his fist coming, and it hit my eye. I fell, and when I sat on the floor, I could almost hear his foot coming and he kicked me in the ribs.

"Dad" I sobbed. "daddy please stop." The last thing I remember is the sight of his hand coming towards my face.

When I woke up, my dad had went to bed. I stood up, and limped to the bathroom. My ribs hurted, so did my foot, my knee and my eye.

When I looked in the mirror, I could see that I had got a black eye. I pulled my blood strained othes of and dressed in my pyjamas. I had a big bruise on my knee, my foot was sprained, and I guessed I had one broken rib. I didn´t care much about it. It wasn´t the first time. I hadn´t been to the hospital in three years, and I had managed to survive loads of broken ribs. So I was sure it was going to be fine this time as well.

My knee hurted so bad I felt I coudn´t manage to go upstairs so I layed down in the osofa in the living room. And fell asleep.

**Should I continue?**


	3. Slushied

When I woke up, I slowly stood up, my whole body hurted. But I wasn´t going to stay at home and wait for my dad. Slowly, I limped up the stairs, walked into my room. Grabbed a big hoodie and a pair of baggy- jeans from my wardrobe. I didn´t wore baggy- clothes for nothing, The big hoodie would cover the bruises on my arms, and my neck, as well as my broken rib. The jeans would cover my swollen knee.

When I had dressed, I grabbed my rucksack. Tied my shoe-laces and walked to school.

When I walked through the corridor, right before glee- club that afternoon. I couldn´t, suddenly I just saw the freezing drink coming towards me, the next second. I could feel my eyes burn of the ice. I tried to wipe away as much as I could with my hands.

"Lex?" I could hear a familiar voice say. And Mr. Schue came towards me.

"You haven´t got a towel have you?" I gasped.

"Actually I have. Come with me." I followed Mr. Schue to his office. He opened his bag, and pulled out a towel, and gave it to me.

"Oh it´s freezing," I gasped as I wiped my neck, under my shirt.

"I know, but I think it would be easier if you took your shirt off"

"It´s fine," I said.

"No really it´s easier."

I sighed, and understood that he was right. So I pulled the hoodie over my head, and hang it onto the chair.

As soon as I had got the shirt of, I could hear Mr. Schue gasp, when he saw all the bruises.

"What´s happened." He asked.

"Fell in the stairs yesterday" I lied.

"Lex, don´t lie to me. Who did this to you?"

"No one," I lied. "Fell in the stairs."

**Mr. Schuester´s pov**

I could see that Lex was lying. But I understood that she wasn´t going to tell me in this way. So I changed the subject.

**Lex´s pov**

"Actually" Mr. Schue began. "A few years ago. One boy that was in the glee club, bought slushies for every other member in glee- club, including me. To say he was sorry, and- stupid as I was, I told them I´d never been slushied. So… they slushied me, all at the same time."

I laughed. But soon I had stopped laughing because my ribs started hurting.

"Let´s go to the choir room then." Mr. Schue said and grabbed his bag. I pulled my hoodie over my head, grabbed my rucksack. When we were on our way to the choir room, I could see that he looked anxiously on my leg. I was limping quite badly, so I guess it wasn´t that strange, but at least he didn´t ask any more questions. And I was grateful for that.

"Hi everybody" Mr. Schue said when we came into the choir room. "How´s the summer been?"

I went to sit in the outskirts of the group. Next to a boy, who looked like he was a junior student. Well, one year older than me then. He was kind of cute.


	4. Locked out

I was on my way home, later the same day. I was happier than I had been in a long time. I already loved glee- club, some of the older students had sung a few songs, and the boy I had been thinking was cute. Seemed like he couldn´t take his eyes of me. When he sang a part in a song that was about a girl he liked, but wasn´t brave enough to tel, he looked straight at me... His name was Tyler.

When I came home, the door was locked, I searched trough my pockets and my rucksack after the keys. But realized I had left them on the kitchen table this morning. I was used to my dad going out without telling me, and knew that my dad was at the pub, and would probably not come home until like, in the middle of the night. I sighed and started walking back to the school. I had some homework to do, and I would rather sit by a bench at school, then outside in the pouring rain.

I sat down by a bench in the corridor and started to do my English- homework. I did barely look up anything until one hour later, when I heard mr. Scue´s voice.

"Lex? What are you doing here at six o´clock in the evening?"

"Dad´s not home, door´s locked. Haven´t got any keys." I said without looking up from my Spanish- book.

"When´s he coming home?"  
"Don´t know."

"You´re hungry?"

**Mr. Schue´s pov**

I was trying to get Lex to trust me. I knew someone was hurting her. And I didn´t want it to remain that way.

**Lex´s pov**

"Not really."

"Want to get a burger?"

"Not really." I still hadn´t looked up from my book. At exactly that moment my tummy began to coop loudly. Mr schue smiled.

"I think you do, come on. I´ll buy you a burger."


	5. PrettyUnpretty

When Mr. Schue had bought me and himself a burger, we sat in his car and ate it. At first no one of us knew what to talk about, but then he broke the silence.

"So… Is Lex your full name?"

"No, it´s Alexandria… to pretty if you ask me."

"What do you mean to pretty?"

"In books, people with long, beautiful names are always the rich ones. The most popular ones at school, the ones who gets whatever they want. The girls have long, beautiful hair, mostly black or blonde, they´re skinny. They have lovely eyes. They´re… perfect. I´m neither pretty or rich. Shortly said, I´m more of a Lex then of an Alexandria."  
"What makes you think that you´re not pretty?" Mr. Schue looked thoughtful.

"No one´s ever called me pretty."

"Let me tell you a story, a few years ago. One of my earlier glee-members happened to broke the nose on another member. They were dancing and he stretched his arm to far back, and hit her in the nose."

"Ouch."

"They happened to be ex- boyfriend and girlfriend. Nowadays, the boy- Finn. Were a couple with a other girl in glee- club- Quinn. Who happened to be the girls- Rachel´s enemy. The doctor that Rachel went to gave her advice to make a nose- surgery. Just to make it look better. Rachel wanted to make it look like Quinn´s nose, she wanted Finn to love her again. Finn tried to convince her not to do the surgery, I tried, all of the others members tried. At last, one of her best friends, preformed the song Barbra Streisand… in the middle of a shopping center." Mr. Schue smiled. "And they succeeded. Rachel never did a surgery. And later that week, we preformed the Lady GaGa song "born this way" were all the members, including me and Ms. Pillsbury, made T-shirts with something about what we didn´t like of ourselves."

"What did you write?"

"Rachel wrote nose, Finn wrote Can´t dance."

"What about Quinn, the friend of Rachel, you and Ms. Pillsbury?"

"The friend of Rachel- Kurt, wrote likes boys. I wrote butt chin, Emma wrote OCD, Quinn wrote… Lucy caboosey."

"What?"

"Long story. What so you think? Should I buy some shirts and maybe we can perform born this way."

"That would be cool."

"Wait a minute by the way. I´ve got some sheet music here. He opened his bag, pulled some papers out, riffled, and pulled out a paper.

"I think you should perform this song on glee this Tuesday."

"Pretty/unpretty? I know this song."

"Rachel and Quinn preformed that the same week as we preformed born this way. I think it would fit you."

"Thanks Mr. Schue. Stop, this is my house." Mr. Schue stopped the car in the driveway to my house.

"your dad´s home?"

I nodded. "Thanks for the burger."

"you´re welcome. See ya´ on Monday."

"See ya Mr. Schue."

**Mr. Schue´s pov**

I had been so close, maybe just one more question I had got to know Lex´s secret. I had seen the pain in her eyes for the first time today. So maybe I had managed to gain some trust… just maybe."


	6. Forgotten

"So... this week´s assignment is to write something you don´t like about yourself on this shirt. With this machine." Mr. Schue pointed at a gadget I had never seen before. "Lex, haven´t you got anything you want to sing to us today?"

I shook my head, grabbed a notebook and a pencil from my rucksack. Wrote "hoarse" at the first empty paper. And showed it to Mr. Schue.

He smiled, "I see! Another day then"

I nodded, maybe... another day. Actually, I wasn´t hoarse at all, I just didn´t want to sing. What if the others didn´t think I was good enough? Would I be out of glee club?

"So, I guess you all can go home then. Lex can I talk to you before you go?"

I nodded.

"So... Lex, you´re not hoarse at all, are you?"

I shook my head.

"But why did you say you were?"

I shrugged.

"I was afraid, that I wouldn´t be good enough." I almost whispered.

"Good enough for what?"

"Dunno, glee club I guess."

Mr Schue smiled.

"And what did you think we would do if you hadn´t been good enough, kick you out of glee- club? Cause that´s not the way it´s working in glee. Maybe in the cheerios, but not in glee. And you´ve got an amazing voice Lex, you really have."

"You´re the only one who has ever believed in me."

"Me? But what about your parents?"

"I don´t want to talk about THEM! Mind your own business." I stood up and ran out of the choir room, before Mr. Schue had the chance to ask anymore. If dad found out about Mr. Schue asking questions, both me and Mr. Schue would be in trouble. And I mean BIG trouble. I had run almost all the way home when I remembered that I´d forgot my rucksack in the choir room. But I couldn´t go back and face Mr. Schue.

"Hiya dad," I shouted as usual when I came indoors.

"Come here" he shouted just as usual. I had been through this too many times.

"Alright dad, what do you want me to do? I walked into the kitchen.

"Why are you late?" He hissed.

"I told you, I´ve joined the glee club."

"And I think you should quit glee- club."

"Well, that´s not your decision to make is it?" Why did I keep on doing this? I really shouldn´t answer him... I really shouldn´t

"YES it´s my decision, cause your my daughter, and you better do as you´re told." Dad grabbed my shirt and threw me down on the floor.

"I hate you" I realized what I´d said just as the word "you" had left my lips. And I could see dad´s foot coming, as in slow motion. He kicked me in the nose. I could hear it crack.

"And also" dad continued. "You can´t sing, I know you can´t sing."

"Mr. Schue says I´m a good singer." I continued.

"And who´s Mr. Schue." Exactly at that moment, we both could hear a knock on the door. Dad went to see who it was, and when he came back. The one who followed him was...

"That´s Mr. Schue," I said. "What are you doing here?"

"You... what happened to your nose?"

"None of your business," I said.

"Maybe you should go now." Dad said. "Or did you actually want something?"

"Actually, Lex forgot her rucksack in the choir room, thought I should give it back to her. I´ll just leave it here." He laid my rucksack on the hallway floor, and then walked out of the house and closed the door behind him. When dad heard Mr. Schue drive away from our house my dad continued.

"You forgot your rucksack on purpose, just to make him come here didn´t you?"

"No I didn´t."

"STOP lying to me."

"No dad, I swear I didn´t"  
The last thing I could remember was his foot coming towards my head.


	7. No buts

"Lex…Lex, can you hear me?" A voice reached my head. And slowly I began to open my eyes.

"Good morning." Mr. Schue stood next to the bed "How you´re feeling?"

Before I had the time to answer, a doctor came into the room, and fixed with the bed so I could sit up.

"So… Alexandria. How you´re feeling?"

"It´s Lex." I said. I hated being called Alexandria. "And I´ve been better. What happened? Where´s dad? How long have I been unconscious?"

"Slow down Lex; give us a chance to answer." Mr. Schue said. "Your dad kept on abusing you after I´d gone. But I only went around the corner, then stopped the car and called the police and an ambulance. The police brought your dad to jail in waiting for the hearing in court. And you´ve been unconscious for about half an hour."

"You´ve got a couple of broken ribs," the doctor said. "A mild concussion, a badly sprained ankle, and bruises."

"When can I home? When can I go back to school? By the way, where will I go?" I had just remembered that I couldn´t live with dad anymore.

"Don´t you have any relatives that can take care of you?" Mr. Schue said. The doctor had left.

"No."

"Aunts?"

"No"

"Siblings?"

"No?"

"Grandparents?"

"No"

"Mum?"

"No"

"Uncles?"

"yes, but only if I want to live in prison with him."

"So… alright, you can come live with me, for a start at least."

"With you? But…"

"No buts, it´s the only choice we´ve got right now."

The doctor came back into the room.

"When can I go back to school?" I asked the doctor.

"I think you should stay at home tomorrow, but if you feel good at Thursday you can go to school then.

"Then… when can I go home?" "You can go home now if you want to. But use these, for at least two weeks." He gave me a pair of crutches. "That will be ten dollars for the crutches."  
"But I don´t have ten dollars." I said.

"It´s ok," Mr. Schue pulled up his wallet out of the pocket. "I´ll pay for them."

"But…"

"No buts."

A few minutes later, we were on our way to my home, to pick up my stuff. When we came there, managed to jump on one leg up the stairs with the crutches, Mr Schue was right behind me, in case I would fall. When we came upstairs, I found a trunk in daddy´s room. And I jumped over the hallway over to my room. I packed all the clothes I´d got. Which wasn´t that much but as Mr. Schue watched me he asked.

"How come you always wear baggy clothes?"

I smiled, and answered. "First reason is that baggy trousers cover swollen knees and ankles, baggy shirts covers broken ribs, as well as bruises both on arms and wrists and parts of the hands. Hoodies cover bruises on the neck."

"And the second reason?"

"Because I´m so short and thin, it´s hard to find something that isn´t either too big, or kids´ clothes when you gotta find them on second- hand shops."

"Why second- hand?"

"I could only use what was left of the money, dad gave me for lunch. And new clothes are expensive. Hold on, I think I´ve saved some money." I opened a book, and pulled out some money of it. I had putted it there to hide it from my dad. I reached Mr. Schue a tenner.

"For the crutches." But he didn´t take it.

"Forget it." He saved. "You need those money better than I do. By the way, how did you manage to save your lunch money?"

"I was able to save loads of money, just by skipping lunch like, once or twice a week. Come on, take the money."

"I said, forget it."

"But…"

"No buts."


	8. Mr Schue s place

When we arrived at Mr. Schuester´s house, he carried my trunk to the house, as I jumped with my crutches just behind him.  
"hello Emma." He shouted when we came in, and a red haired woman, I recognized as the school psychologist.

"Emma, this is Lex." Mr. Schue continued. "She´ll be staying with us."

"Oh, hi Lex. Nice to meet you." Emma said. "Ehrm, what happened to your leg?"

"oh, it´s… it´s nothing."

"Ehrm, follow me Lex, I´ll show you to the spare room." I followed him upstairs and into a room on the left. "so…this´ll be your room, for now." He said and dropped the trunk to the floor. "I´ll let you settle in by yourself."

"Thanks " I sat down on the bed. Mr. Schue walked out and closed the door behind him. Thoughts were spinning in my head, and I laid down…

**Mr. Schue´s pov**

"Lex do you want any din…ner." When I opened the door, I could see that she´d fallen asleep. I couldn´t blame her. This must have been an exhausting day for her. And the concussion couldn´t really make it better. I smiled, and closed the door slowly again.

**Lex´s pov **

When I woke up the next day, first I couldn´t remember where I was. Then everything came back to me. Dad, Mr. Schue, Emma. I must have fallen asleep. I looked at the clock. 8:00 a.m. I guessed that meant that Mr. Schue and Emma had gone off to work, but when I came downstairs Mr. Schue sat by the kitchen table.

"Good morning," was the first thing he said. "You fell asleep by dinner time yesterday and we didn´t wanna wake you up. I have to go to work now, but there´s soup in the fridge if you´re hungry. You know how to use the micro wave right?" I nodded. "There´s sandwiches in the locker, and you can watch tv, if you want to… I guess that´s it then. I have to go now." I barely remembered half of what he said but I managed to warm some soup in the micro wave. And I sat down by the table and ate it. From the beginning, it made me feel a bit insecure that I was in someone else´s house alone. But after a while, I´d lighten up a bit, and I went to watch tv in the living room. I didn´t care much about what the tv-show, it just was something about some kids in a care home. I sat in the sofa, for about the whole day. The tv- shows shifted, and I couldn´t care less, so soon I turned the tv off. But I was thinking. What would happen to dad now? What would happen to me? What would the people at school think? There where thoughts spinning in my head. I didn´t realize that the time went on, so before I knew it I could hear the door open, and Mr. Schue and Emma came in.

"Hi Lex," he said and began to unpack the food. "What have you done today?"

"Thinking, watching tv, thinking."

"Kind of boring to be home alone huh?" I shrugged again.

"Kind of. Looking forward to glee club tomorrow."

"Yeah about that." Mr. Schue said. "This time, I brought some shirt- paint, and let all the others write on their shirt by themselves. Here´s one for you." He gave me some painting brushes, a white t-shirt and some painting colours. I thought for a minute, and then I wrote…


	9. Scars

…. "Scars," Mr. Schue said when I had finished the shirt and had pulled it over, the t-shirt I wore. "What scars?" I grabbed the lower part of my shirt, it wasn´t that hard to pull the back of it up, because it was way too big for me. Then I turned my back towards him. The reaction was exactly what I´d thought it would be. I could hear him gasp, at the sight of my bruised back.

"Hold on, isn´t this…"

"Yeah, it is." I knew what he was talking about. The scar, just below my shoulder blade on the right side of my back.

"Did your dad really, did he…?"

"No… My uncle did. My dad just beated me up every once in a while." I pulled my shirt down again. "I don´t wanna talk about it anymore. I´m going upstairs."

I went upstairs to unpack my stuff. It didn´t take that long, I had just two changes of clothes, and a few books. Then I heard a knock on the door.

"Lex," it was Mr. Schue again. "Can I come in?"

"It´s your house," I said and the door slowly opened. Mr. Schue came in, and sat down on the bed.

"Sometimes it feels better after talking to someone," he said.

"Oh, do it? I´ve never recognized that."

"And look what happened, I mean, how long has this been going on?"

"Look, a scar from a gunshot isn´t something to be proud of. I barely survived, and afterwards, I don´t know how many times I wish I hadn´t."

"I can understand you have."

"No, you don´t. You know nothing about me. And you wouldn´t understand if I told you it all." Mr. Schue leaned backwards.

"Try me."

"Ok, you asked for it." I sat down next to him, and started telling my story. "When I was eight, my mum couldn´t stand dad´s drinking anymore, she took my little brother, and left. After this my uncle moved in with me and dad. Dad said it was because of that he wanted help to take care of me, but that was a lie. They barely did anything except drinking. And beated me up of course. I had to take care of myself, and my little sister."

"Didn´t know you had a sister."

"I haven´t now let me finish. What I didn´t know about was their plans, they wanted to get rid of both me and Maddie, and they understood that if they just left us, they were going to end up in prison. They did it like this. Dad was supposed to take us to the bank, our uncle, was supposed to be a robber, he came into the bank, Took the money , shot me and Maddie, and then left, to run away to Europe or something. With our dad. Well, that was their plan. But someone saw them do it, and called the police, when the police arrived he shot. And hit first me, then Maddie. An ambulance came there. The police took uncle, but they didn´t understand that dad was a part of the plan to. Uncle got twenty three years in prison, nineteen more to go, the doctors managed to save me… but not Maddie, and when I finally came home again, dad had gotten worse than ever."

"Lex…I… I don´t know what to say." I looked up at Mr. Schue, I could feel tears streaming down my face.

"I have never told anyone about this before, I was too afraid of what my dad could do if I told anyone."

Mr. Schue embraced me, then I couldn´t stand it anymore, and I sobbed quietly into his shirt.


	10. Born this way

The day after, I went to school again, I´d dressed in the "scars" T-shirt, with a hoodie over. I managed to get through the day, without any bigger events, except loads of weird glares towards my leg and the crutches. A few people asked me what´d happened, and I just answered that it wasn´t on their business. Then it was time for glee- rehearsal, we talked through the choreography, and the lyrics for about an hour, and then we went to the auditorium. A boy named Connor was the first one to walk out on the stage, and then the song began.

_It doesn't matter if you love him or capital H-I-M_

_Just put your paws up_

_'Cause you were born this way, baby_

Two of the girls had walked out, and they ripped his shirt open, and I could see the text "Homo" on it. The two girls, Amy and Marcie opened their own cardigans and threw them on the floor in front of the stage, Amy´s shirt said, "Red hair" and Marcie´s said "To short."

_My mama told me when I was young_

_We are all born superstars_

_She rolled my hair and put my lipstick on_

_In the glass of her boudoir_

_There's nothin' wrong with lovin' who you are_

_She said, 'cause He made you perfect, babe_

_So hold your head up, girl and you you'll go far_

_Listen to me when I say_

_I'm beautiful in my way_

_'Cause God makes no mistakes_

_I'm on the right track, baby_

_I was born this way_

Some of the others had run out on the stage now, but I couldn´t see the fronts on their shirts.

_Don't hide yourself in regret_

_Just love yourself and you're set_

_I'm on the right track, baby_

_I was born this way, born this way_

_Ooh, there ain't no other way, baby, I was born this way_

_Baby, I was born this way_

_Ooh, there ain't no other way, baby, I was born this way_

_I'm on the right track, baby, I was born this way_

_Don't be a drag, just be a queen_

_Don't be a drag, just be a queen_

_Don't be a drag, just be a queen_

_Don't be_

_Give yourself prudence and love your friends_

_Subway kid, rejoice of truth_

_In the religion of the insecure_

_I must be myself, respect my youth_

_A different lover is not a sin_

_Believe capital H-I-M_

_I love my life, I love this record and_

_Mi amore vole fe yah_

_I'm beautiful in my way,_

_'Cause God makes no mistakes_

_I'm on the right track, baby_

_I was born this way_

_Don't hide yourself in regret,_

_Just love yourself and you're set_

_I'm on the right track, baby_

_I was born this way_

_Ooh, there ain't no other way, baby, I was born this way_

_Baby, I was born this way_

_Ooh, there ain't no other way, baby, I was born this way_

_I'm on the right track, baby, I was born this way_

_Don't be drag, just be a queen_

_Whether you're broke or evergreen_

_You're black, white, beige, chola descent_

_You're Lebanese, you're orient_

_Whether life's disabilities_

_Left you outcast, bullied or teased_

_Rejoice and love yourself today_

_'Cause baby, you were born this way_

_No matter gay, straight or bi_

_Lesbian, transgendered life_

_I'm on the right track, baby_

_I was born to survive_

Mr. Schue bent forward in front of me, and I jumped up on his shoulder, he raised again. And walked out on the stage.

_No matter black, white or beige_

_Chola or orient made_

_I'm on the right track, baby_

_I was born to be brave_

_I'm beautiful in my way_

_'Cause God makes no mistakes_

_I'm on the right track, baby_

_I was born this way_

_Don't hide yourself in regret,_

_Just love yourself and you're set_

_I'm on the right track, baby_

_I was born this way, yeah_

_Ooh, there ain't no other way, baby, I was born this way_

_Baby, I was born this way_

_Ooh, there ain't no other way, baby, I was born this way_

_I'm on the right track, baby, I was born this way_

_I was born this way, hey_

_I was born this way, hey_

_I'm on the right track, baby, I was born this way, hey_

_I was born this way, hey_

_I was born this way, hey_

_I'm on the right track, baby, I was born this way, hey_

Laughing, we stopped singing and dancing, I could now see that the text on Tyler´s shirt said, "Curly hair"

"Scars?" he asked me, "what scars?"

"I´ve got scars all over my back," I said, and jumped down on the floor again.

" I see."

"Well, Lex." Mr. Schue began, do you wanna sing that song you were supposed to sing two days ago now?" I nodded. Someone ran out with a high chair on the stage, and I jumped up on it. The others picked up their cardigans and other shirts from the floor and sat down on the front row, and I started singing.


	11. Maddie

I managed to walk to Marcie and when I stood in front of her I asked.

"So you think you´re too short?"

"Yes. I think so."

"Still think so?" I walked a little closer, so she would see that, my head just reached up to just under her jaw.

"Yes."

"Oh come on, if you´re too short, then I am the size of a pygmy." She smiled.

"Point taken."

"Lex?" Mr. Schue came up to us, with my crutches.

"Yes."

"I have some work to do, before we can go home. Is that all right for you to stay here for a few hours, or should I bring the work with me home?"

"No, it´s ok. I´ve got some homework to do, and it´s easier to concentrate at school, I also have to clean up in my locker, so. It´s ok to stay."

"Hang on" Tyler walked up to me. "You live at Mr. Schue´s? Why?"

"Is that of your business?" I mumbled.

"Ehrm, not…not really… I guess."

"Then why are you asking?" I asked. I turned around and jumped of the auditorium. The corridors were almost empty now, except from the glee- members. Most of them walked past me and just glared at me strange. I turned around and started to pull out things from my locker, with my back towards the corridor. When I pulled out my math book, some other books fell out, one of them turned open and I saw a small, writers block in it.

"I thought I´d lost that one," I mumbled to myself. "I haven´t seen it in like, two years." I put the other things back in my locker, and sat down by a table, and started reading.

_Dear Maddie_

_There´s so much I wanna tell you, but I can´t. That´s why I´m writing in this book, I´ll show you it someday. Because I know we´ll meet again. Someday… _

_Dear Maddie_

_I never wanted you to die. I wish I could have died instead of you. _

_Dear Maddie_

_Now it´s been a year, I don´t know what to say. I don´t wanna live without you, especially _ not if that life is with dad. He´s been worse than ever since I got home, ten months ago.

_Dad beated me up again yesterday…_

_It hurts so much…_

_Maddie please come back_

_Please_

I kept on riffling in the book, faster, faster, faster. While this voice in my head was getting louder and louder.

"You should have died, it´s all your fault. I should be alive, I could have made more of my life, than what you are making." I fell down on my knees, with my hands on my ears, trying to ease the sound of Maddie, blaming me for her death.

**Mr. Schue´s point of view.**

I sat in my room, whistling on a song, and adjusting Spanish tests when I heard screaming from the corridor. I stopped whistling, and listened a little closer.

"No, no please don´t, please I don´t wanna die." I´d heard enough I almost flew out of my chair, running towards the door. I looked around when I came out the door and listened. The voice came from around the corner, but there was only one voice. I ran through the corridor, and around the corner. When I came around it, I could see someone sitting on her knees with her back against me, crouched, sobbing unstoppable.

"Lex?"

"No, no, please Maddie. Maddie, I never wanted you to die." The sight almost paralyzed me, and for several seconds I just stood there, not knowing what to do. Then my mind became clear again, and I rushed to her side, and squatted down beside her.


	12. Give it all

**So, I´ll start to try to update this one a li´l bit more, because I´ve got an idea for a sequel, I´ve also got an idea of a sequel to the sequel. I sound really weird I know, but I´ve got some really awesome ideas, promise.**

**Lex´s point of view**

I turned around and almost jumped into the roof when I could feel a hand on my shoulder. But I breathed out again, when I saw it was just Mr. Schue.

"You´re ok Lex?" He looked very worried, I sat down, with my back against the wall. Trying to breathe slowly.'

"Yeah, yeah I´m fine." I gasped.

"You don´t sound you´re fine, and you definitely didn´t sound like you were fine a minute ago." Mr. Schue bent down, and tried to reach after the small writers´ block I had written letters to Maddie in.

"Don´t touch that." I almost shouted. "It´s private." I reached after it myself and stood up. I had leaned the crutches against a table. I balanced, with both in one hand and the notebook in my other hand.

"You wanna go home?"

"Hadn´t you some adjusting to do?"

"I can do those at home, you don´t look like you should be at school right now."

"It´s nothing. I was just reminded of something… really… painful."

"Lex?" he looked me in the eyes, with that, "worried- adult" look in his eyes.

"It´s just some letters I wrote for Maddie. I started reading them, and I…. I, well, I heard her voice in my head."  
"Saying what?"

"Why are you being so sneaky? It´s none of your business." I pulled the strap on my bag over my head, and hang it on the shoulder. "were we going home or what?"

"Yeah, we were…" Mr. Schue sounded like he wanted to say more, but he kept quiet. "I´m just going to get my jacket and my bag." I followed him to his office, and then to the car. All the time with my hands in my pockets. I had put the notebook in my bag.

"So…" Mr. Schue began when he´d started driving. "Lex, I didn´t think that you really gave it all, when you were singing earlier."

"Mhm."

"I´ve heard you singing, like you were singing for your life. And you definitely didn´t sound like that today."

"Mhm."

"Can´t you say anything else then mhm?"

"What do you want me to say."

"Why didn´t you gave all you had today?"

"I don´t know. Just, a lot going on in my head right now."

"Mhm." We looked at each other.

"OK, ok, I get it. What will be next weeks assignment?"

"I´ve got an idea."

**Four days later, Monday.**

"So, this week´s assignment is to sing a song. About something that´s going on in your life right now."

I´d listened to some music this weekend, I´d found this awesome song… and that was the one I was going to sing. I just didn´t know when or how.

**It´ll take you like, three extra seconds to review, so please do it.**


	13. Honor thy children

_Daddy don't leave _

_Daddy don't leave _

_Daddy don't leave _

_Turn around please _

_Remember that the night you left you took my shining star? _

_Daddy don't leave _

_Daddy don't leave _

_Daddy don't leave _

_Don't leave us here alone _

_Mom will be nicer _

_I'll be so much better, I'll tell my brother _

_Oh, I won't spill the milk at dinner _

_I'll be so much better, I'll do everything right _

_I'll be your little boy forever _

_I'll go to sleep at night _

Tyler ended the song. Wow, he had a voice.

"Great job, Tyler." Mr. Schue began clapping, and I followed.

"So," Mr. Schue stood up. "Do you wanna tell us why you chose this song?"

"Well," Tyler began. "My parents have been fighting a lot lately, and yesterday they told me and my brother… that, that they are…. They are getting a divorce."

"Oh, Ty I´m so, so sorry." Mr. Schue walked up on the stage and clapped Tyler on the shoulder.

"It´s ok, I guess it´s better than hearing them fighting all the time." He smiled a little.

"Well, Lex." Mr. Schue turned towards me. "Will you give it all you´ve got this time?"

"You bet." I walked up on the stage, actually. The doctor had told me that I should use the crutches for two weeks, I used them for like, one week. Then I got sick of jumping on one leg all the time. I limped badly, and I couldn´t go very far, but it was better without crutches. I took a deep breath.

_She hears his heavy breathing in the dark_

_His footsteps coming closer down the hall_

_She's so ashamed, she's daddy's secret love_

_She wants to cry, she wants to die, but he can't get enough_

_The bruises on his face will go away_

_Mom keeps him home from school till they fade_

_She's sorry he was born and tells him so_

_He takes it in, he hangs his chin, he ducks another blow_

"No, dad. No dad please stop." I watched Maddie get beaten up by dad and uncle Wyatt. Dad turned around, I crouched. "Don´t let him see that you´re scared." I thought. He grabbed my hood and pulled me to the kitchen floor. Next to Maddie.

_Did God overlook it_

_What ought have been written_

_The eleventh commandment_

_Honor thy children_

Dad and Wyatt had gone of to Charlie´s bar. I had wrapped my arms around Maddie.

"It´s ok." I whispered while rubbing her back. "It´s ok, as long as we´re together."

_He cries for hours, cries and never stops_

_He shakes so hard his little cradle rocks_

_He'll never have the chance to be brand new_

_He'll never walk, he'll never talk, he's addicted too_

_Did God overlook it_

_What ought have been written_

_The eleventh commandment_

_Honor thy children_

I sat on my knees on the floor next to my bed, with praying. With Maddie, in the same position next to me.

_Thou shalt not kill_

_Thou shalt not steal_

_Thou shalt not take the Lord's name in vain_

_Thou shalt not cause thy children pain_

_God does not overlook it_

_What ought have been written_

_The eleventh commandment_

_Honor thy children_

_Honor thy children_

I fell apart on the floor, sobbing unstoppable.

"Maddie," I whimpered. "Maddie, I can´t live without you, please let this be a dream. Please, please."

"Wow, Lex." Mr. Schue walked up on the stage. "That was amazing."

"Now I understand." Tyler stood up. "You living at Mr. Schue´s, all the bruises and baggy clothes… it was your dad."

**The songs is "family portrait" by pink. And "eleventh commandment" by Collin Raye. Check out the video for Honor thy children, it´s amazing.**

**And don´t forget to review!**


	14. Not illegal

**So, because I started this long before glee season four started on TV. Let´s just pretend that whatever happened, or is going to happen after season three, never happened. This has it´s part about one year after that Rachel, Kurt, Finn and those graduated.**

**And the couples that maybe are going to enter in this are**

**Klaine **

**Tike**

**Samcedes or, as I like to call them "Mam" **

**Brittana**

**Burole (of course, they´re married) **

**Wemma**

I took a deep breath. How was I going to explain this? I was saved, when my cellphone vibrated in my pocket and I pulled it up.

"I think I gotta answer this," I turned around and put the phone to my ear. And to the others, the conversation must have sounded, something like this.

"Lex Ralston… yes, Alexandria… Mhm… yes… mhm… WHAT?... What do you mean?.. aha… NO… BUT YOU CAN´T… Ok… bye." I hung up, and turned around towards the others, with my eyes wide opened, and I knew I had turned pale as a ghost.

"Lex… Lex?" Mr. Schue stormed upon the stage. "Lex, can you hear me?" I stumbled, and Mr. Schue grabbed my shoulders and led me to the piano chair, where I slowly sat down, beside Brad. The rest of new directions had walked up on the stage, and now, they all looked very worried.

"They´re going to let him out." I finally managed to say.

"Who?" Mr Schuester asked. "You´re dad?"

"Exactly, they say that if we can´t tell them about something illegal he´s been doing, they´re going to let him out."

"When?"

"Tomorrow… Oh my God, oh my God, oh my God, oh my God, he´s going to come back for me, I´ll have to move in with him again. Oh my god, oh my god."

"Calm down, deep breathes. What do you mean not have done anything illegal?"

"It´s not illegal to abuse your own child." I mumbled. "There´s gotta be something, I don´t wanna move in with him again."

"You´re not." Mr. Schue sat down on the floor, "we´ll figure out something."

"What about the plan?" I suddenly thought of. "Isn´t it illegal to be a part of a murder, even, if he wasn´t the one…" Mr Schue nodded.

"Of course it is. Come on, I´ll drive you to the police, we gotta sort this out. Glee- rehearsal is over for today."

In silence, Mr. Schue drove me to the police station. I walked in there on my own, and started talking to the police.

**Three days later, Mr. Schue´s pov**

I sat outside the court; Lex was in there with her dad, and lawyers. She tried to convince the others that her dad had been a part of Maddie´s murder, Mr. Ralston said he was not. I was on the edge on my seat, when the door finally opened and Lex came out. She took a deep breath and said.

"We won."

"YES." I embraced her. "Good work Lex, I knew you could do it."

"There is another thing though…"


	15. Be there

"so." A girl from the glee- club, named Hayley said. "Lex´s dad and uncle is coming to see us on sectionals."

"Yes." Mr. Schue said.

"I arranged with the people working with them in prison, so they are going to follow dad and Wyatt so they can come and see us." I continued.  
"But, Lex." Tyler began. "If your dad and uncle hurted you so much, why do you want them to be there?"

"Because I don´t want dad and Wyatt to believe that I let them break me down."

"Sounds like a good reason to me." Connor said. "Have you got any ideas for songs?"

"Not really."

"But it´s three months to sectionals. We´ve got plenty of time to think about that."

"There is another thing, that I didn´t tell you Mr. Schue," I began. "I got another phone call… It turned out that dad hadn´t paid the rent for our house for the last two months. That means, that if I haven´t either paid all of that money, or emptied the house on things. They are going to go there themselves, and take all our stuff."  
"So," Mr. Schue asked. "When are they gonna go there and do that."

"Monday" I sighed. "I´m going there this weekend to clean a bit, but I won´t be able to do it on my own. I was wondering… if maybe, you could help me."

"´course we will." Mr. Schue said. "At least I will."

"Me too," Connor said.

"And me…" came from Tyler and Marcie, soon everybody was going to come.

"Great" I said. "Rosia road, number fourteen. Saturday, at let´s say… eleven thirty?" The others nodded. "Thanks."

**Two days later**

"Alright everyone," I shouted when the whole glee club stood outside the house. I started to give the others plastic gloves,  
"Wear these all the time, you never know what you may find in here. Marcie, Amy Ben, Jasper, Anna, Teeghan, Aiden, Johnny, Alice, Mariah, Liam and Mr. Schue. You take the first floor, with the kitchen and the living room, Connor, Tyler, and Hayley, you come with me to the second floor with the bedrooms. We´ll leave the trash on that side of the garden, I pointed to the right, and the things that can be sold or kept on that side. I pointed to the left. Nobody throws away ANYTHING, except like, plastic bags and such stuff without letting me take a look at it first. Every time someone finds a wine bottle or a beer can, we´ll leave that right there. I pointed to a corner of the garden, does everybody understand? When we got away all the stuff, look under the beds and other furniture we can start to use the screwdrivers that Mr. Schue brought to disassemble the furniture. Most of the furniture, I think is just gonna be thrown in the dumpster. But check every mattress so there isn´t anything hidden in or under it. Does everybody understand?" The others nodded. "Good, let´s begin." I turned around, and unlocked the door, and then I opened it, and walked in.

**Know it´s a bit short. Please review**


	16. Comics

When we came indoors, we gathered in the living room. Hayley was the first one that began to speak.

"Lex, how could you live in this?" she asked. "It stinks of alcohol." I shrugged.

"Guess I´m used to it, and we´re all having to deal with it today and tomorrow, because there´s not really anything to do about it."

"I´ve got another question." Aiden spoke out. "How long will we stay here today?"

"Ehrm, because we´ve got a lot to do, and we´ve only got two days, I suppose we should stay here to like, seven or eight p.m."

"Then how are we going to get dinner?" He looked at me, with a really confused glare.

"Ehrm…" I began, I hadn´t been thinking that far, but Mr. Schue interrupted.

"At dinner- time, I´ll go buy some burgers and French- fries for everyone. That´s actually good, because I need to go home, and get some plastic sheets I promised I´d bring." He laughed a bit.

"Well, you guys," I pointed to the ones that were gonna start downstairs. "You can began over there in the kitchen, just shout if you need me." I turned around, and walked up the stairs with Tyler, Hayley and Connor after me. "We´ll start in here, I walked a few steps down the hallway upstairs and opened a door to the left. To the room that had been my dad´s. I turned the lights on and went across the room, to open the window.

"I´m just gonna go and open the rest of the windows in the house, and tell the others tyo do the same downstairs." I said, and walked out in the hallway.

"MR. SCHUE" I shouted at the top of the stairs.

"YES." Mr. Schue came to stand at the bottom of the stairs.

"If you could just, open the windows downstairs, so maybe we´ll get rid of the smell here."

"I´ll do that."

"Good." I turned around. And went into a room to the right, and then opened the windows in every room down the hall. Then I went back to dad´s room, where Hayley had started to pull the duvet covers of the bed. The boys were riffling in a pile with old comics. I went to help Hayley.

"Ey Lex." Tyler started.

"Yes." I answered.

"Would you mind if I try to sell these comics, and give you the money."

"Why would you sell them, they´re just garbage."

"Most of them are, but there´s about three or four pretty expensive ones here, and I think I could get like, fifty dollars or something for them, if I put them on eBay."

"FIFTY DOLLARS? For a COMIC?"

"No, for all of them together. Do you want me to try?"

"Do what you like, I don´t care." I took the dusty and dirty bedclothes from dad´s bed and started to walk downstairs with them. I walked out in the garden and threw them at the "garbage- side" of the front yard.

"How big is this house actually?" Connor asked when I came back upstairs.

" Ehrm, let´s see." I thought a bit. "Four bedrooms, two small bathrooms, one kitchen and living room. Why?"

"Just wondering, isn´t that a bit big for two persons."

"When we first moved here, eight years ago. It was perfect. There was one room for me, I had my own, so I could do my homework in a silent room. One for mum and dad, one for Maddie, and Zeb, and one for Wyatt to stay in, he was here quite often already back then."

"Who´s Zeb and Maddie."

"My sister and brother," I smiled a little. "Mum and dad gave all of us long names. So we made them a bit shorter for ourselves. Alexandria became Lex, Madelyn became Maddie, and Zebastian became Zeb."

"Didn´t know you had siblings." Tyler began. "Where are they and your mu…"

"I don´t wanna talk about it."

**So… this is the second time Lex´s mum and Zeb are mentioned. It´s the first time it´s mentioned that her brother´s name was Zeb.**

**Please review, it makes my day. **


	17. What you re told

Tyler went downstairs to put the comics that were worth something in his car, and throw the others in the dumpster. I lifted on dad´s mattress and pulled the zipper on the side of it down. To search through it. Almost immediately I found an envelope. I started to open it, when I could hear Hayley giggle behind me. Before I had the time to turn around, someone hit me with a pillow, and a cloud of dust came from it. I sneezed. With the envelope still in my left hand, I gripped a pillow, turned around and hit Hayley back. I put the envelope on the bedside table and after a few seconds I and her had a wild pillow fight. The pillows were dusty, so the dust flew around us.

"Come on now, girls" Tyler complained. "Lex, you were the one who said that we haven´t really got enough time so we better get going."

"Yes." I giggled, and stopped fighting with Hayley. "Yes of course." I cleared my throat, after breathing in heaps of dust. Then I went out in the hallway, and into my room. On the floor in the wardrobe stood a shoulder- strap bag. I pulled the shoulder- strap over my head, and went back into dad´s room. I put the envelope in the bag. I would take a look at it later. I put the bag on the floor.

Oh, that bag. I had saved as much lunch money as possible for like a year, I didn´t know what to do with it. But I knew I would have to get myself a new bag, the rucksack I had had back then were dad´s old. And it was just a matter of time, before it would break. I had fifteen dollars, and then I walked into the second hand store, I knew that I would have to get myself a coat for the winter, but I would have to get a new bag too, and I was hoping that my money would be enough… It wasn´t. I had fifteen dollars, two dollars to less. But the man that stood behind the counter was nice; he said that the bag was a bit old, and just because of that. I could buy it for five dollars. But then, one day. Dad came home from the pub, with another old rucksack he´d gotten from a friend, he wanted me to use that instead, and I did what he told me.

"Lex? Lex? Come on, earth to Lex." Connor´s voice brought me back from my memories.

"What did you say?" I looked up, from the mattress. I pulled the zipper up again, and laid it back at the bed.

"I asked you what I should do with these?" he had opened dad´s wardrobe, and pointed towards the clothes in it.

" Just, put it at the right side of the front yard." I said. "You know, where we put the trash. Just, just check so there isn´t something hidden in or between the clothes. Ehrm, Tyler."

"Yeah." He looked up from a magazine he had found under the mattress, and we all know what sort of magazines that people hide under mattresses.

"Stop reading that magazine." I pulled it out of his hands. "That mattress…" I pointed to dad´s bed. "Is about four times my size. Take it, and carry it down to the front yard, and throw it at the right side."

"Ok, boss." Tyler said and smiled a bit. I pushed his shoulder a bit. I walked around the bed, and to the side that hadn´t been used, for seven years. The part of the bed where mum had slept.

"So… we´re done in here." I closed the door to dad´s room, a while later. "You can just take that one over there, that was Wyatt´s room. I´ll take this one on my own." The others nodded and I walked into the only room, where I hadn´t opened the window. The room that once had belonged to Maddie and Zeb.


	18. Jazz

**So, to make the long waiting up to everyone I´m updating all of my stories at the same time. **

I hadn´t been into this room, since Maddie died. Not wanting to face the truth. I closed the door to it. To leave everything as it was when she left for the last time. Now, for the first time in four years I stepped over the threshold, and closed the door behind me.

The room had no signs that there had been two people living in the room. Because when mum had left with Zeb, they had brought most of Zeb´s things. What was left dad had taken and thrown in the dumpster; there was only one bed in the room. Everything that Zeb had owned was gone.

I sighed, and looked around. The room looked like it had done when I left it, four years ago. Well, it was way more dusty then it had been when I left it. But except that, everything looked the same. The bedspread, was pink, there was a small book- shelf with a few books hanging onto the wall in the other side of the room. There was a desk, and a chair. A few school- books laid on the desk. Maddie was eight when she died, so she had had the time to go to school for a few years. I took another deep breath, and walked to the bed. I pulled of the bed- spread and convoluted it. I laid it on the floor, and reached for the quilt, I pulled of the duvet covers, convoluted it and laid it on the bed-spread. All of it was, like the sheeting on dad´s bed so dusty, I would never get it clean. There was nothing else I could do but throw it away.

"LEX" Mr. Schue´s voice echoed through the house. "Come down here, we need to ask you something."

"COMING." I shouted back and turned around, and walked out in the hallway, and downstairs. I brought the sheeting, so I could throw them in the garden.

"Stop reading those magazines," Ben, Liam and Johnny stood in the middle of the living room, reading the same kind of magazines that I had pulled out of Tyler´s hands a while ago.

"What?" I went into the spare room. Where Mr. Schue and the others were.

"We wonder what we should do with this?" Marcie held up a computer.

"Let me see, if there´s something in it." I took it and started it, I searched through the documents and maps.

"Can someone that´s good with computers take away all those maps and stuff from it. Then I´ll have it." I said and walked out of the room, when I realized that I had put the sheeting from Maddie´s room, on the floor in the room. I turned around and walked in and grabbed them.

"Ey guys." I said when I´d picked the sheeting up. "I´m doing my sister´s room right now, so, if you want me something, could you just, please wait until I´m done there. I´m kind of having a rough time doing Maddie´s so…" I stopped there and walked outside. I laid the sheeting on the right side of the garden, and started to walk back, when I saw that Teeghan sat on the stairs, smoking.

"What you looking at?" she asked.

"You´re a smoker?" I asked, without answering the question.

"What does it look like?" she asked. I nodded and walked past her and into the house.

When I came into Maddie´s room again, I sat down on her bed, I reached for a stuffed rabbit, that sat on the top of the bed. I held it in my hands. And tried to remember what Maddie had called it. Jack? I thought, no. Jess? No… that was it, Jazz.

"Hey Jazz" I said quietly so no one would hear me. "Do you miss Maddie? Well so do I" I smiled a little. "Will I ever get too old to play this games" I thought, and put Jazz in my bag. Then I shook my head. "No, life is so much better when you´re a little crazy." I laid my bag on the floor and walked over to the bed, to take the rest of the sheeting.

**So, that´s the fifth chap of seven. I´m not sure if I´m gonna be able to write the rest of the chaps today (Tuesday) because it´s my dad´s birthday, and my grandparents are coming over. Either way, no chap will be up until tomorrow, because when I´m at home, there´s no internet on this computer.**


	19. Family

**So, I´ve said this before and I´m saying it again. I started writing this before the fourth season started on Tv, so whatever happens in series four, never happened. I´m gonna use songs and such stuff that is gonna be used in series four, and there is not going to be anything about Marley, Ryder, Jake or anyone else arriving to ND in the fourth season. **

"This actually went faster than I thought it would." I said, when we sat around the living room floor and ate dinner. "Maybe we could get finished today, we´ve only got my room left upstairs, what about you guys?"

"The kitchen is left, that and all the cleaning afterwards." Mr Schue said. "What have you got in that bag Lex?"

"Papers most, a few books, and Maddie´s old stuffed rabbit." I said. And threw the garbage from the burger and the drink and French fries in a paper bag. Then I opened my bag and pulled out a bunch of papers I had taken from Maddie´s room. Then I pulled out Jazz.

"Now, this" I pointed at Jazz´s head. "Is called Jazz." I put him next to me on the floor, and leaned my back against the wall, and then I started riffling in the papers. Most of them were drawings with pictures of flowers, and princesses, and other such stuff. But then one drawing caught my attention. I laid the ones I had already looked at on the floor.

"Me and my family" it said on the top of it, and it wasn´t Maddie´s handwriting. But there was a name in the corner.

"Zeb made this." I mumbled.

"Pardon?" Connor, that sat next to me, looked confused.

"I said, Zeb made this." I looked at the drawing again. Of course, there were five people on the drawing. And their names stood under. Zeb had drawn dad much bigger than the others. With an angry expression on his face. The rest of us were smiling.

I smiled a bit, Zeb was a good artist. No doubt about that, just the idea of making dad so much bigger, and angrier than everyone else on the drawing.

"Is Zeb your brother?" Mr Schue asked, and I nodded slowly and riffled fast through the rest of the papers, apart from Zeb´s drawing, there was nothing really fun to find there. Then I pulled out Maddie´s old school book. This kind of reading book, teachers use to teach the children to read. I riffled through it without finding anything exiting so I decided to throw it away. The next thing I pulled out was a notebook Maddie had used for school. I riffled through it, until I came to a part saying "my family." And this is what it said.

_My family contains me, my sister Alexandria, my brother Zebastian, my mum and dad, But I don´t know their names, and my uncle Wyatt. I don´t know if uncle Wyatt is a part of the family, but he lives with us so I guess he is. _

_I don´t know where my mum is, Lex says that she took Zeb and left ages ago. I don´t know why she left. Maybe it was because of that dad drinks so much, but I don´t know why she didn´t take me and Lex too. Maybe she would have taken me too if I had been better, if I had helped her doing the dishes, and looked after Zeb more. But I guess she just loved Zeb more than she loved me. _

_My dad drinks a lot, with uncle Wyatt. I don´t know why, but Lex says that´s what making them mean and ill. When they drink it, they get really mean, they hurt me and Lex then. Yesterday, dad gave Lex a punch, so she got a big black eye. I´m not supposed to tell anyone about what dad and Wyatt do, but they have never said anything about writing it. _

_Lex is my sister, I love her, she´s the only person at home that loves me, and cares for me. She comforts me when I´m sad, and blow on the wounds that dad and Wyatt gives me, she does it to make the hurt go away. I love Lex._

"Lex? Lex?" I was brought back to reality when I could feel Connor shaking my shoulders.

"What?" I asked, with a big lump in my throat.

"Are you ok?... Why are you crying?" he asked.

"I´m not crying," I lied and whipped away some big tears that rolled down my cheeks.

"What does that say?" Hayley sat down on my other side and pointed to the notebook I held in my hands.

"It´s a school-essay that Maddie wrote, about our family. It says things about dad and Wyatt, and that mum left with Zeb and… and that she loved me."

"How come Maddie´s teacher didn´t call the police when she saw this?" Connor had read the essay over my shoulder. I looked down at it again and spotted a date in one of the corners.

"November the twenty sixth 2011" I mumbled. "She never got to hand it in, she wrote this just two days before she… before Wyatt and dad…. Before she…" I couldn´t finish the sentence, and my words turned into sobs. Mr. Schue that sat on the other side of the room stood up, rushed over the floor, squatted down and embraced me.

"She… she… she trusted me." I sobbed. "I-I-I should h-h-h-have looked after h-h-h-er better."

"There was nothing you could do." Mr Schue said in a soft voice. "You didn´t know."

"B-B-But I should have looked after her, I should have made the doctors save h-h-her."

"There was nothing you could do."

"O…kay." I could hear Teeghan´s voice. "Can anyone tell us others what the heck´s going on."

"Shut up Teeg." I could hear Tyler´s voice.

"Is Maddie dead?" Mariah asked when I finally stopped crying. I nodded slowly.

"Dad and Wyatt killed her."

"That is so…" Liam started but he seemed like he didn´t know how to finish the sentence. "I don´t know what I would do if Mariah died."

"Are you siblings?" I asked. Liam nodded.

"Twins."


	20. Duetpartners

**So, as you can see ve deleted the "please help" part. Just… don't ask why, it´s hard to explain, and especially because English isn´t actually my language. Thanks for the songs, I´ll see which ones I´ll use. I know for a fact already now that I´m gonna use just dance, and I´ll probably use probably use price tag as well, because I really love that song. **

Me, Hayley, Connor and Tyler went upstairs to take my room, the last one upstairs. I opened the door and held it up for the others, then I walked in and closed the door.

"So" Hayley said. "This is you room."

"Yep." I put my hands on my hips, and looked around. "It´s… small, it´s got a bed, and a small bookcase. My dad burned the desk a few years ago, the electricity was turned off, for like weeks, and we needed something to be wood to the fire." I smiled, "he burned first my desk, then my bigger bookcase, then the piano, then he got some real fire-wood from a friend, before he had the time to burn any of Maddie´s stuff, or my violin." I squatted down next to my bed, reached for something under it, and pulled out a violin-case.

"Didn´t know you play the violin." Hayley said.

"I do," I said. "Years ago, when I was like, thirteen, a boy gave me it when I gave him and his gang two bags of beer and wine. They were about fifteen years old I think. Then I spent, like, three afternoons at the school library, to search for books about playing the violin, my music teacher showed me how to tune it. And, I spent every free-time at school, in a corner of the school yard, playing the violin. And I mean, day after day after day. For two years." I smiled at the memories, "and every afternoon that dad wasn´t home, I could just sit and play for hours and hours when he was at the pub. But, never mind, we better get a going now, so we can get all of the rooms cleaned up so we can get done today.

And the days went on, days got to weeks, the yearl school- musical (and this year it was chess) was held, and then, suddenly, we were in the middle of October. When it was time for the duet- competition.

"So," Mr. Schue came into the choir room. "Glee- clubbers, now it´s time for the official duet- competition. You will all do each duet, and this year I´ve decided to not let you choose your partners yourselves. And because they are exactly eight girls and eight boys this year, I´ve written all the boys´ names on each piece of paper, and put them in this hat. He laid a hat upside down at the piano. Now, every girl get to step forward and pull a name of the hat, and the one that has his name on that piece of paper, is the one that´s going to be your duet- partner. Now who would like to go first?" He gazed over the group.

"I can," Mariah stood up and half- walked half ran to the piano, and pulled a name out of the hat. When she unfolded the small piece of paper and had read the name. She gave us a short laugh and said.

"My own twin brother, Liam." Liam, that sat behind me got up of his chair and ran and lifted her up, to spin around with her, while we other were laughing. This could become interesting, the Smith- twins were both jokers. Anna Carter, a blonde freshman- student, that was also a part of the cheerios, was the next one to step forward and pull a name out of the hat.

"Connor," she said, and went to sit next to Connor. This could be interesting to, Anna and Connor were both sopranos. Teeghan, who I hadn´t got very well along with since we were at my place, was the next one to step forward.

"Oh, come on," she said after reading her piece of paper. "I´m not doing a duet with a freshman."

"You pulled his name of the hat, then you´re doing it with him." Mr. Schue said. Ben raised his hand a little.

"Guys," he said. "I`m here you know, and I´m the only boy- freshman in new directions, so you could as well use my name." Teeghan looked a bit pissed off. But she didn´t say anything else, she just went to sit next to Ben, in the middle of the group. I was next, and I was a bit nervous, when I pulled a piece of paper out of the hat.

"Tyler" I said a bit relieved, I had hoped to get either him or Connor (Connor, me, Tyler and Hayley had been like, best friends since the day we spent at my house.) He stood up, high- fived with me and we sat down in the outcasts of the group. The next one was Marcie, a shy girl in freshman year.

"Ethan" she almost whispered. This could be good, Ethan was Ben´s older brother, and a senior. Like I´d said, Marcie was shy, and Ethan was… how should I explain this? He was a bit of a father- figure. I think he could help Marcie to maybe open up a bit. The next couple becoming was Alice, a junior, always dressed in a cheerios- uniform, with Aiden, a sophomore, with brown, spiky hair.

Now there was only two left, Hayley, and Jasper. I bit my lip to not start giggling when I saw Hayley. She looked so angry her eyes were almost black, instead of the usual brown. She and Jasper had been a couple until this summer, and they had barely talked since a fight in the ending of the summer. Hayley had told me this.

"So, now we got all eight couples." Mr. Schuester put the hat on Brad´s head. Marcie and Ethan, you two can stay in here and practice. Lex and Ty, take Mr. Trey´s classroom. I stood up and with Tyler by my side, I walked out in the corridor and towards the classroom.


	21. Sierra

**So, let´s see if I can do two chapters in one day. Right now I am at my mum´s work. It´s almost an hour until she quits for today, and it´s booooooooooooooring here. (My mum works in an office) and there´s no internet on my computer when I´m here, actually there´s no internet on my computer at home either. But… it´s a long story. Let´s start with the chap.**

When the glee- club was over I walked over to my locker. I and Tyler had decided to do a song he had on his phone, called "safety" by Dima Bilan and Anastacia. I thought the song was good.

" Hey, you´re Alexandria Ralston" I could hear someone say behind me when I pulled out some homework to put in my bag. I turned around, and saw three girls from the Cheerios standing there.

"Yes?" I said a bit insecure.

"We heard you´re living at Mr. Schue´s place." The one in front of the others, a Latino- American said. "And by the way, I´m Sierra, and this is Kennedy, she pointed to the blonde girl behind her. "And this is BreeAnna." She pointed to another Latina behind her.

"Yes, I live at Mr. Schue´s" I said, still insecure. "How did you find out?"

"Teeghan told us." Kennedy said, but Sierra hushed.

" Shut up Kennie." She said and turned to me again. "Now we just wanted to tell you, that whatever the reason is, we think that if someone lives at their teachers house, they´re losers. BIG losers."

"O…k" I said. "Did you want something else.

"Not right now," Sierra said. "But we might talk with you again, when we need the answers for the next Spanish test." They turned around and walked down the corridor. I slammed my locker and started running in the other direction, until I saw Teeghan standing by her locker.

"TEEGHAN KNIGHT" I shouted, not caring if anyone else would hear me. She turned around, and looked at me, and when I came close enough I slapped her face.

"You…. You bitch." I said. "How dare you tell the others, now the whole school is gonna now about it." I was gonna say more, but I was so angry, I didn´t even know how to express myself.

"Let´s say it this way," she pulled on a baseball jacket over her cheerios uniform. "Let´s see what the time brings, and then you can figure out for yourself." Teeghan pulled the shoulder strap on her bag onto her shoulder, and then she walked down the corridor.

I sat down on a bench, with my elbows on my knees, and my chin in my hands, how was I gonna get through this? Soon the whole school would know that I´m living at Mr. Schue´s. Oh, boy I was in trouble.

"You ready to go?" I could hear Mr. Schue´s voice from next to me. I looked up, and nodded slightly.

"I´ll just get my jacket." I said, and walked down the corridor again.

When we got home that afternoon. I walked straight up to my room. And for the first time in several months I opened the violin- case, and made myself ready to play the violin. When a folded paper fell out of the case.

"What´s that paper?" I asked to myself, though I thought I knew what it was. I bent down and unfolded it.

"Lex?" Mr. Schue knocked the door. "Can I come in?"

"It´s your house," I mumbled, like I always did when he asked that question. But with my eyes, still on the now, unfolded paper.

"It´s dinner…now." He opened the door. "What´s that paper?"

"It´s a list I wrote years ago." I said. "A list of, ten things I wanted to do if I ever got away from my dad. And now I have so…" I didn´t really know how to finish that sentence.

"Oh," he said. "Can you name one thing you wanted to do?"

"Learn knitting." I said, which was number ten on the list.

"Oh," Mr. Schue scratched his neck. "I can´t help you with that, though I think I know someone who does. Come on, we´ll eat dinner first and then I drive you to her."

**An hour later.**

"Burt and Carole, this is Lex." Mr. Schue pointed to me, when we arrived at the house, where the woman, that Mr. Schue could teach me how to knit lived. "Lex, this is Burt Hummel, dad of one of my original New- directions- members, and Carole Hudson, mum of another of the original new directions- members.

**Preview for next chapter.**

**Burt pov**

"**Carole are you thinking the same as I´m thinking?" I asked my wife. **

"**Do you mean Lex?" **

"**Yes, who else, it´s worth a try, we´ve got plenty of space… and it´s been a bit empty since Finn and Kurt moved out." **

**Ok, so I´m home now, and right now I´m laughing so much. Because mum is swearing about that we can´t get no water in the crane, because it has frozen in the plumbing. Haha, omg, north of Sweden or what?**


	22. The offer

**So, mum fixed the plumbing, but then there was a leak, and the toilet began to back- flush, so the water came up from it instead of down. And we had to turn the water off, and my dad wasn´t home, he´s coming home today. So, it was like that for all night, and until during the day yesterday. Then the plumber came while we were at school and jobs. But, now it´s all fixed. And we have water in the cranes, and the toilet flushes in the right direction. **

"Hi, very nice to meet you, Mr. Hummel… Mrs. Hudson." I said and nodded politely.

"Burt… please" Burt said.

"…and Carole." Carole continued.

"Burt and Carole." I smiled towards them.

"Well, Carole." Mr. Schue said. "I guess you know how to knit."

"Of course I do." She smiled.

"Well, the reason I came here, is because, Lex here." He patted my shoulder. "Had a list, and one of the things on the list was that she wanted to learn how to knit so…" he looked back at me. I put my hands in my pockets, and looked in another direction.

"Oh," Burt looked around a little. "What kind of list?"

"Ten things that I wanted to if, and when, I got away from my dad." I said, and turned my head to look at Carole and Burt.

"Ok, let´s get some equipment and I´ll show you how to knit," Carole smiled and held out her hand and when I took a few steps towards her, she laid her hand on my shoulder blade, and lead me into the living room.

**Half an hour later.**

"… At school it doesn´t make much sense, before they used to think I was weird, because I was always hurt, now they think I´m weird because I live at his." I nodded towards Mr. Schue, that sat on the other side of the table from me. "I mean, I dot wanna be ungrateful, I like living at yours, Mr. Schue, I really do. But… Well, now when it have come out at school…"

"Have it?" he looked

"You get one guess who told someone outside New directions." I said, but with my eyes stiff on the knitting I held in my lap.

"Tee…"  
"Yep."  
"Well, I´m going to get myself a cup of coffee," Burt stood up, "You coming Will? Carole?"

"Yes," Carole and Mr. Schue stood up, and walked out of the kitchen.

**Burt pov**

I closed the door between the kitchen, so Lex couldn´t hear us talking. Then I turned towards Will and Carole.

"I´ve got an idea" I said. "Are you thinking the same as I do?" I asked my wife.

"Do you mean Lex?" Carole asked.

" Yes, who else? It´s worth a try. And we´ve got plenty of space since Kurt and Finn moved out."

"Are you talking about that Lex should move here?" Will asked.

"Yes." Carole and I said at once.

"We should ask Lex about this." Will went to open the door to the living room again, and I and Carole walked after him into the living room.

**Lex pov**

"Lex?" I looked up when I could hear Mr. Schue say my name.

"Yep," I laid the knitting down on my lap. He looked next to him, to Burt and Carole.

"We were thinking," Carole said. "Me and Burt, we thought, that maybe, if you want to. You can move in here with us."


	23. The list

"This isn´t a joke right?" I asked them. "Because if it is, it´s not funny."

"it´s not a joke." Mr. Schue said, and I now understood that they were serious. And, I, I didn´t quite know what to say. I looked from Carole to Burt, to Mr. Schue, and then back to Carole.

"You… should say something soon." Burt said.

"I- I don´t really know what to say." I stuttered.

"Just say, yes or no."

"I don´t know." I looked to Mr. Schue. "I like living at yours, I do…"

"Lex," Mr. Schue came to sit next to me. "I like having you living at ours too, but, I am your teacher. I´m not supposed to have my students living at mine for more than a short matter of time, and only when it´s absolutely necessary. So, I think this is the best option, not only because of that, but because that´d be the best option for you as well. Burt and Carole, they´re two of the most caring person´s I know. They´ve raised two wonderful son´s, and they can give you a good home. We can try for a week or two at first if you want to, and then, if you want to, you can move back in with me, but I think you´d be better here." I nodded slightly.

"Suppose, we better go get my stuff." I stretched my back a little and clapped my hands together.

"And well," Burt clapped my shoulder. "Four pair of hands move things faster than two."

"You don´t need to help," I smiled. "I haven´t got so much stuff, it´ll just take five minutes. I can just, walk back later. I bent down to tie my shoelaces and then I walked after Mr. Schue to the car.

**Half an hour later**

"So, do you have everything?" Mr. Schue asked when I was about to leave his house.

"Clothes, check." I joked. "Books, check. School stuff, check. Just stuff, check. Violin, check."

"Toothbrush?"

"Oh crap," I forgot that one," I walked into the bathroom, took my toothbrush and put it in my shoulder bag.

"I think I have everything now, and if you find something I haven´t, you just, bring it to school tomorrow." I hang the big rucksack on my back, shrugged and said.

"So… thank you… for everything." I said.

"You´re welcome, you´re sure you can walk to Burt and Carole?"

"Yeah," I answered. "I´ll need a walk to clear up my thoughts. So, bye."

"see you tomorrow."

"See you." I walked out, and closed the door behind me.

When I reached Burt´s and Carole´s house. I stepped onto the doorstep and knocked the door. Carole opened.

"Sweetie, you don´t need to knock the door while you live here."

"Ok," when Carole moved out of the way I stepped over the threshold, and into the house. "So…" I began. "Where am I gonna live then?"

"Follow me." I walked after Carole up the stairs and to the right. She opened the door to a room to the right in the room.

"So, you´ll live in here." She said when I stood and looked around. "If you´re gonna stay here, we can paint it if you want to." I looked around once again, it wasn´t big. Not that that bothered me, it was bigger than my old bedroom. The walls were painted in white; there was a book case, a wardrobe, a bed, and a desk with a chair.

"It´s fine thank you." I said. "But, could I just be alone for a minute?"

"Yeah, of course. I and Burt are downstairs, so just shout if you need anything."

"Yeah," I almost whispered, and then. I was alone. I sighed, and laid down my rucksack on the bed, laid my shoulder-strap bag, next to it. And then, I started unpacking. I hang, and folded the clothes in the wardrobe. Put the books in the bookshelf, and the school-stuff at the desk. Then I laid the rucksack under the bed, and put the other bag on the floor next to the door, before I went downstairs, and to the kitchen.

"Hi Lex." Burt said and nodded towards me, with a cup of coffee in his hand. "What you think about your room?"

"It´s alright." I said, and sat down on the opposite side of the table, from Burt and Carole.

"So, tell us a bit about yourself." Carole said.

"Well, I began. My name is Alexandria Ralston." I began. "But everyone calls me Lex. I´m in my sophomore year at high school, and I´m in new directions. I´m turning sixteen in the middle of November, but I don´t really like my birthday."

"Why not?" Burt asked.

"Because, when I lived with my dad. My birthday, was just an excuse for my dad to drink more than usual. And usually, he drank much."

"So…"

"Please, I don´t wanna talk about that. My dad´s a drunk, so was my uncle Wyatt, they´re both in prison now. Wyatt have been in prison for four years and dad for about a month. My dad used to hurt me, Mr. Schue somehow, understood what was going on. And called the police. Since then, that was in the beginning of September, I´ve been living at his house. Anything else you wanna know about me?" They shook their heads. "So, tell me a little bit about yourselves."

"Ok," Carole began. "I´m Carole Hudson, and I´ve got a son, Finn that was in New Directions when it started. He´s studying at the actor- school in New York now. Finn´s dad, my earlier husband, died of drug- problems when Finn was little, but he had also been in Afghanistan, and done some extraordinary great things. I´m a nurse." She stopped talking and looked to the side at Burt who nodded.

"Well, my name is Burt Hummel." He began. "I used to sit in the municipal board, but I quit to make place for some others, more passionate that me. I have a son, his name is Kurt and he and Finn are the same age. He studies at Nyada. My wife died of Cancer when Kurt was about seven years old. I own the gas station around the corner. And I really hope you´re not homophobic, because when Kurt comes home for the holidays, he brings his boyfriend Blaine."

"No, no, not at all." I said and smiled. "One of my best friends is probably as gay as can be."

"Oh, just wait until you´ve met Kurt." Carole said. I smiled, and pulled out the folded list I had put in my pocket earlier.

"You wanna hear what this list says?" I asked.

"Sure." Burt said, I held the paper under the table and read.

"_Ten things I wanna do when I get away from my dad._

_Number ten: Learn how to knit._

_Number nine: _

This one´s pretty embarrassing," I said. "But it´s true.

_Learn how to ride a bike. _

"That will be easy to fix, you can just have one of Kurt´s old ones." Burt said, I smiled. "And I´ll help you to learn to ride it."

_"Number eight: Go on real shopping tour, where I don´t have to have the second hand shops as the only alternative._

_Number Seven: Have a boyfriend." _

_Number six: Play the violin, and sing on a stage _

_Number five: Somehow, help a child that lives with abusice parents. _

_Number four: Talk to mum and Zeb. Tell mum what I think about her._

_Number three: Go to Maddie´s grave, plant purple flowers. _

"Why purple?" Carole asked.

"Purple was her favorite color." I said.

"_Number two: Have a group of friends, I can talk about anything with." _I took a deep breath before reading the last one.

"_Number one: Go to Maddie´s grave, talk to her, tell her that I´m able to let her go." _I folded the paper, and put it back in my pocket, then I looked up, for about ten seconds, no one said a word.

"Maddie´s my sister," I said. "Zeb´s my brother. Anything else you wanna know about this?" They shook their heads.

"Good, I´ll go upstairs now." I stood up and walked upstairs. When I came into my room, I sat down on the floor, with my back against the wall, and my head in my hands. With tears streaming down my face, and shaking of sobs.


	24. Dream a dream

**When there´s coming a duet, for ND:s duet-competition, every couple holds one girl and one boy, and to split the parts of the songs. I´ve done it this way**

Both are singing  
_Girl´s part  
_**boy´s part**

**Mariah´s pov**

Liam, my much beloved twin brother, ran over to the CD- player, we had chosen to use that one, because it was almost six. p.m and the band had gone of home for the day. The music started and Liam half jumped half ran over to me at the middle of the stage in the auditorium.

Come Mr. DJ song pon de replay  
Come Mr. DJ, won't you turn the music up?  
All the gyal pon the dance floor wantin' some more watts  
Come Mr. DJ, won't you turn the music up?

Come Mr. DJ song pon de replay  
Come Mr. DJ, won't you turn the music up?  
All the gyal pon the dance floor wantin' some more watts  
Come Mr. DJ, won't you turn the music up?

**It goes one by one, even two by two  
Everybody in the floor let me show you how we do  
Let's go, dip it low, then you bring it up slow  
Wind it up one time, wind it back once more**

_(Come)  
_**Run**_  
__(Run)  
_**Run**_  
(Run)  
_**Everybody move**_  
(Run)  
_**Lemme see you move**_  
(And)  
_**Rock it to the groove**_  
(Done)_

**Shake it 'til the moon becomes the sun  
**_(Sun)_**  
****Everybody in the club give me a "run"  
**_(Run)_

_If you ready to move say it  
_**(Yeah)**_  
__One time for your mind say it  
_**(Yeah, yeah)**

_Well I'm ready for ya  
Come let me show ya  
You want to groove  
Im'a show you how to move_

Come, come Mr. DJ song pon de replay  
Come Mr. DJ, won't you turn the music up?  
All the gyal pon the dance floor wantin' some more watts  
Come Mr. DJ, won't you turn the music up?

Come Mr. DJ song pon de replay  
Come Mr. DJ, won't you turn the music up?  
All the gyal pon the dance floor wantin' some more watts  
Come Mr. DJ, won't you turn the music up

"So, what do you think sis´?" Liam asked when we both, sweaty of the dancing and a bit out of breath sat down on the stage after singing the song.

"I think we got this. We´re gonna win soooooo much." Liam smiled, and lay half down, with his elbows at the floor.

"I wouldn´t be so sure if I were you," Anna and Connor walked into the auditorium. "We´ve got a pretty good number, you wanna see it?"

"Sure," I said, and grabbed Liam´s hand when he was reaching it out to help me to stand up. We walked down to the chairs, Connor gave Liam our CD, and then their own CD started playing. And it started.

_When the night is still  
And the sea is calm  
Lonely shadow,  
you fall upon me_

_Lay by my side  
Fear not tonight  
Lonely shadow,  
you'll find a new light_

_Dream a dream  
And see through angel's eyes  
A place where we can fly away_

_Ride with me upon a shining star,  
Above the moonlit sky  
We will find  
Elysium_

**Hear the nightingale  
Sing a lullaby  
Lonely shadow,  
you'll find a new light**

**Dawn will be kind,  
All will be bright,  
Lonely shadow,  
rise from the darkness**

Dream a dream  
And see through Angels' eyes  
A place where we can fly away

Ride with me upon a shining star  
Above the moonlit sky once more

Dream a dream  
And see through Angels' eyes  
A place where we can fly away

Dream a dream  
And see through Angels' eyes  
A place where we can fly away

Elysium

I had, during the whole song been leaning my arms, on the chair in front of me, and my chin on my arms. I still sat so now, not knowing whether I should move, or say something, or just sit on the same spot as I sat now.

"So, bye for today then, see you guys at Wednesday´s glee- club tomorrow," she and Connor walked out of the stage, and for I don´t know how long after that, I and Liam still sat, on the exactly same spots, not knowing what to do.

"We´re doomed," Liam said in the end.

"We´re so doomed." And seriously, I didn´t know what else to say.

**Lex´s pov, in the middle of the night.**

I was walking at a very beautiful forest. Between the trees, I could see the sun go down, I could see a shadow getting closer, she was running from the direction that the sun came from, so I couldn´t see her face. But she was running really fast, so when she got closer, finally I could see it was Maddie. She had a big smile on her face, and she slowed down. But she didn´t give me a hug, why not? Then she turned her face, and when she turned it back towards me. The smile was gone, and had been replaced by a face with, almost black eyes, and a body language, that I knew was the language of anger.

"You should have looked after me better."

**Carole pov**

When I woke up, it was still pitch-black outside the window, I couldn´t understand why I had woken up. So I turned to my other side, and closed my eyes again. When I could hear a scream echo through the house.

"What? who´s dying?" Burt sat up straight in the bed. But I didn´t have the time to answer him, I almost jumped out of my bed, got a shirt from the chair in our room, and pulled it on while running down the hall towards Lex´s room.

"NO, MADDIE." I could hear from the room, before I stumbled, and had fallen, if not Burt had caught my fall. Then we opened the door.

**Lex pov**

"NO, Maddie." I opened my eyes wide open. I was out of breath, and soaking wet of sweat, when I realized that I was, once again laying on the floor next to the bed, again.

The door flew open and Burt and Carole came rushing in.

"Are you alright honey?" Carole asked.

"I´m fine." I sat up. And got up in the bed again, "that, that was nothing ok? And I´m sorry I woke you up,"

"It´s alright," Carole said and came to sit next to me. "Are you sur everythings allright?"

"Yeah, fine," I lied. "It was just a nightmare.

"Alright, goodnight, morning, day, whatever." Burt closed the door, when they walked out in the hallway again. I sighed, and turned around, from the door.

I had been dreaming those nightmares almost a month now, since we were at my house, and I read Maddie´s old school stuff. I dreamt it a couple of times a week. And waking first Mr. Schue and Emma up, and now Burt and Carole, was really embarrassing.

**So, that´s two of eight duets. You´re gonna see more of the duets in the next chap. Bye. **

**Oh, and the songs, are pon de replay by Rihanna, and dream a dream by Charlotte Church and Billy Gilman, and no, Anna don´t sing that song quite as high as it is in the original. **


	25. Duets

**So, before I start. I just wanna send a big HAPPY BIRTHDAY, to my grandma. Because she would have turned 82 today, if she had been alive. Love ya nan. **

**Thursday, glee club. **

"So, who´s gonna go up first?" Mr. Schue asked, and gazed over the group. The twins, and Anna and Connor had done their duets yesterday.

"We can do it." Amy and Johnny stood up and walked out on the floor. Mr. Schue sat down in front of me. And then they started.

RedOne, Konvict  
GaGa, oh-oh, eh

_I've had a little bit too much_,** much**  
_ All of the people start to rush_, **start to rush by  
** _How does he twist the dance? Can't find a drink, oh man  
Where are my keys? I lost my phone, phone_

**What's going on on the floor?**  
**I love this record baby but I can't see straight anymore  
Keep it cool, what's the name of this club?  
I can't remember but it's alright, a-alright**

Just dance, gonna be okay, da da doo-doo-mmm  
Just dance, spin that record babe, da da doo-doo-mmm  
Just dance, gonna be okay, d-d-d-dance  
Dance, dance, just, j-j-just dance

_**Wish I could shut my playboy mouth**_**,** _oh oh oh-oh_  
**How'd I turn my shirt inside out?** _Inside outright_  
_**Control your poison babe, roses have thorns they say  
**_**And we're all getting hosed tonight, oh oh oh-oh**

_What's going on on the floor?  
I love this record baby but I can't see straight anymore  
Keep it cool, what's the name of this club?  
I can't remember but it's alright, a-alright_

_Just dance, gonna be okay, da da doo-doo-mmm  
Just dance, spin that record babe, da da doo-doo-mmm  
Just dance, gonna be okay, d-d-d-dance  
Dance, dance, just, j-j-just_

"Wow guys." We clapped our hands to Amy and Johnny. Johnny, who was the dancer of the group, ran to get a bottle of water from Aiden, he was soaking wet of sweat, but still smiled big.

"Can we go next?" Alice asked.

"The floor is yours," Mr. Schue sat down again, and so did Amy and Johnny.

"So, we actually don´t know who made the original of this song, but we think it was Bryan Adams, we have been listening to a cover by some Swedish boy- band called E.M.D." Alice said, and then they both turned their backs towards us, and when the music started, they started to sing and turned around.

_When it's love you give_  
**I'll be a man of good faith  
**_then in love you live._  
**I'll make a stand. I won't break  
I'll be the rock you can build on,  
be there when you're old,  
to have and to hold.**

**When there's love inside**  
_I swear I'll always be strong  
_**then there's a reason why.**  
_I'll prove to you we belong_  
_I'll be the wall that protects you  
from the wind and the rain,  
from the hurt and pain._

_Let's make it all for one_ and all for love.  
Let the one you hold be the one you want,  
The one you need,  
Cause when it's all for one it's one for all.  
When there's someone that should know  
Then just let your feelings show  
And make it all for one and all for love.

_When it's love you make_  
**I'll be the fire in your night.**  
**When it's love you take**.  
_I will defend, I will fight_  
_I'll be there when you need me.  
When honor's at stake,  
This vow I will make_

That it's all for one and all for love.  
Let the one you hold be the one you want,  
The one you need.  
Cause when it's all for one it's one for all.  
When there's someone that should know  
Then just let your feelings show

And make it all for one and all for love.  
Don't lay our love to rest  
Cause we can stand up to the test.  
We got everything, that and more  
Then we had planned,  
More than the rivers that run the land.  
We've got it all, in our hands.

**When there's someone that you want,**  
_when there's someone that you need_  
Let's make it all, all for one and all for love.

The last tone rang out, and we clapped our hands again, this one had been really good. Next up was Teeghan and Ben, and Teeghan still complained about having to do a duet with a freshman.

_Skin head_, **dead head**  
_Everybody_ **gone bad**  
_Situation_, **aggravation**  
_Everybody_ **allegation**  
_In the suite,_ **on the news**  
_Everybody_ **dog food**  
_Bang bang_, **shot dead**  
Everybody's gone mad

All I wanna say is that  
They don't really care about us  
All I wanna say is that  
They don't really care about us

**Beat me,** _hate me_  
**You can never** _break me_  
**Will me,** _thrill me_  
**You can never** _kill me_  
**Jew me,** _sue me_  
**Everybody** _do me_  
**Kick me,** _kike me_  
Don't you black or white me

All I wanna say is that  
They don't really care about us  
All I wanna say is that  
They don't really care about us

Tell me what has become of my rights  
Am I invisible because you ignore me?  
Your proclamation promised me free liberty, now  
I'm tired of bein' the victim of shame  
They're throwing me in a class with a bad name  
I can't believe this is the land from which I came  
You know I really do hate to say it  
The government don't wanna see  
But if Roosevelt was livin'  
He wouldn't let this be, no, no

Some things in life they just don't wanna see  
But if Martin Luther was livin'  
He wouldn't let this be, no, no

All I wanna say is that  
They don't really care about us  
All I wanna say is that  
They don't really care about us

All I wanna say is that  
They don't really care about us  
All I wanna say is that  
They don't really care about  
All I wanna say is that  
they don't really care about  
All I wanna say is that  
They don't really care about us 

They was done, their duet hadn´t been really good, but the next one could be interesting, it was time for Hayley and Jasper.

_I remember when we broke up_ _the first time_  
_Saying this is it, I've had enough, 'cause like  
We haven't seen each other in a month  
When you, said you, needed space, what?_

**Then you come around again and say  
Baby, I miss you and I swear I'm gonna change  
Trust me, remember how that lasted for a day  
I say, I hate you, we break up, you call me, I love you**

Oooh we called it off again last night  
But Oooh, this time I'm telling you, I'm telling you  
We are never ever ever getting back together  
We are never ever ever getting back together  
You go talk to your friends talk  
To my friends talk to me  
But we are never ever ever ever getting back together  
_Like ever..._

**I'm really gonna miss you picking fights  
And me, falling for a screaming that I'm right  
And you, will hide away and find your piece of mind with some indie record that's much cooler than mine  
Oooh you called me up again tonight**

But Oooh, this time I'm telling you, I'm telling you  
We are never ever ever getting back together  
We are never ever ever getting back together  
You go talk to your friends talk  
To my friends talk to me  
But we are never ever ever ever getting back together

_I used to think, that we, were forever ever ever  
And I used to say never say never  
Huh, he calls me up and he's like, I still love you  
And i'm like, i'm just, I mean this is exhausting, you know  
We are never getting back together, like ever_

We are never ever ever getting back together  
We are never ever ever getting back together  
You go talk to your friends talk  
To my friends talk to me  
But we are never ever ever ever getting back together  
We, oooh, oooh, not back together, we  
Oh, getting back together

You go talk to your friends talk  
And my friends talk to me  
But we are never ever ever ever getting back together

"Good guys," Mr. Schue stood up, and clapped Hayley´s shoulder when she and Jasper walked to the chairs to sit down again. "Only two couples left then, are you going to preform today or?" I shook my head, and I could see Marcie do the same.

"See you guys tomorrow then." We all stood up, and walked out of the choir room.

**The songs are, Just dance by Lady GaGa, all for love, and I don´t think that´s the original, but if you ask me, I´m gonna answer E.M.D. and also, they don´t care about me, by Michael Jackson, and we are never ever getting back together by Taylor Swift.**

**I started getting bored when I came to wanegbt, just so you know. **

**Preview of the next chap**

"**and the winner is…." **


	26. Winner

"So, there´s Ethan and Marcie, and Lex and Tyler left." Mr. Schue sat, when Friday´s glee- club started. "Who would like to go first?" I looked to my right, to Marcie, and nodded, showing that I would like her and Ethan to go first.

**Marcie pov**

When Lex nodded towards me, and showed me to go up, I slowly stood up, I took a deep, shaking breath. And I felt my heart pounding in my chest, when I walked down onto the floor. My hands got all sweaty. I couldn't do this, I felt sick, I…

"Hey," Ethan laid his hand on my shoulder, and shook it a little. "You´re ok?"

"I can´t do this, they´ll think it´s terrible, we´re gonna lose."

"Hey," he said again and laid both his hands on my shoulders. "Look at me," I looked into his blue eyes, they looked just as calm, and steady as they always did. "Who cares if we win or if we lose, if we just do this, that´s a success just that isn´t it?" I nodded. "You can do this, I believe in you."

"Thanks," I whispered. He clapped my shoulder blade once more, and then, it was time to start.

**Yeah, You could be the greatest**  
You can be the best  
**You can be the king kong  
**banging on your chest

**You could beat the world  
**You could beat the war_  
_**You could talk to God  
** go banging on his door

**You can throw your hands up**  
You can be the clock  
**You can move a mountain**  
You can break rocks

**You can be a master**  
_Don't wait for luck_  
Dedicate yourself and you can find yourself

_Standing in the hall of fame  
And the world's gonna know your name  
Cause you burn with the brightest flame  
And the world's gonna know your name  
And you'll be on the walls of the hall of fame_

**You could go the distance  
**You could run the mile  
**You could walk straight through hell**  
with a smile

**You could be the hero**  
You could get the gold  
**Breaking all the records that thought **  
never could be broke

**Do it for your people**  
Do it for your pride  
**Never gonna know**  
if you never even try

**Do it for your country  
**Do it for you name**  
Cause there's gonna be a day**

**When your,** _standing in the hall of fame  
And the world's gonna know your name  
Cause you burn with the brightest flame  
And the world's gonna know your name  
And you'll be on the walls of the hall of fame_

Be a champion,  
Be a champion,  
Be a champion,  
Be a champion

On the walls of the hall of fame

Be students  
Be teachers  
Be politicians  
Be preachers

Be believers  
Be leaders  
Be astronauts  
Be champions  
Be true seekers

_Standing in the hall of fame  
And the world's gonna know your name  
Cause you burn with the brightest flame  
And the world's gonna know your name  
And you'll be on the walls of the hall of fame_

_(You can be a champion)_  
**You could be the greatest**  
_(You can be a champion)_  
**You can be the best**  
_(You can be a champion)_  
**You can be the king kong banging on your chest**

_(You can be a champion)_  
**You could beat the world  
**_(You can be a champion)_  
**You could beat the war**  
_(You can be a champion)_  
**You could talk to God, go banging on his door**

_(You can be a champion)_  
**You can throw your hands up**  
_(You can be a champion)_  
**You can be the clock**  
_(You can be a champion)_  
**You can move a mountain**  
_(You can be a champion)_  
**You can break rocks**

_(You can be a champion)_  
**You can be a master**  
_(You can be a champion)_  
**Don't wait for luck**  
_(You can be a champion)_  
**Dedicate yourself and you can find yourself**  
_(You can be a champion)_

Standing in the hall of fame

"YEAH." Ethan lifted me up and span around with me. "You did it, see? I told you, you could."

"I did it." I said.

"Good work Marcie " Mr. Schue high- fived me. "So, only one couple left then."

**Lex pov **

I and Tyler stood up, and walked out on the floor. The music started, and then, Tyler began to sing.

**You saved, you know you saved me  
When you never gave up on me baby  
Walked away,  
You care about me now I'm yours  
My heart was so rejected  
You gave me shelter to protect it  
Far away, so reconnected  
Now I'm yours **

**And I... **

**Wish you could see the way I see you  
Just like the morning when it breaks through  
Best part of me is when I met you  
And I'm never gonna leave, that'll never be  
If I could give you what you gave me  
Then you would know what that'd make me  
When the world is trying to knock you... **

**I'll be your safety **

_The chains, I felt you break them  
Wrapped your arms around me to replace them  
Took my hand, forgave my mistakes and now I'm yours  
That's why I'm always gonna be there  
When life reminds us that it's not fair  
I'll pick you up and take you to a place where I am yours _

**Wish you could see** the way I see you  
**Just like the morning** when it breaks through  
**Best part of me** is when I met you  
_And I'm never gonna leave_, that'll never be  
_If I could give you_ what you gave me  
_Then you would know_ what that'd make me  
When the world is trying to knock you... 

I'll be your safety

**Tell you once, tell you twice**, tell you everytime  
**I'll never leave what I need**, you're my lifeline   
**Wish you could see**the way I see you  
**Just like the morning**when it breaks through  
**Best part of me**is when I met you  
_And I'm never gonna leave, _that'll never be  
_If I could give you _what you gave me  
_Then you would know _what that'd make me  
When the world is trying to knock you...

I'll be your safety  
_You're safe, _  
**I'll be your safety **

"Wow, guys." Mr. Schue stood up and walked out on the stage, and I and Tyler went to sit down again. "So, every couple has one vote, you can´t vote for your own duet. I´ve got the price right hear." Mr. Schue held up a check. "There´s papers and pencil´s on the piano, vote."

"Who do you think we should vote for?" I whispered to Tyler.

"I don´t know." He answered. "I thought the twins was good, and Ethan and Marcie´s. Who were your favorite?"

"Ethan and Marcie, and Alice and Aiden."

"Guess it´s Ethan and Marcie then."

"Ok."

When everybody had handed in their votes, Mr. Schue laid them on the piano. I crossed my fingers, who would win this?

"And the winners are…" Mr. Schue began. I bit my lip. "Lex and Tyler."

"Oh," I said. because I didn´t know what else to say. "I didn´t expect that."

" Here you go." Mr. Schue handed Tyler the check, for dinner for two at breadstix, "have a good time."

**The songs are hall of fame by the script (check out the music video for that song, it´s awesome.) and safety by Dima Bilan and Anastacia. **

**12/12/12 12:12 **

**Preview for the next chap**

"**Keep your hands of in, he´s mine." **


	27. The boy is mine

**I´m happy, today it´s the Lucia- day in Sweden. **

**If you go back to the chapter, "the list" you can see that I´ve changed a few things on the list. **

"Oh" I leaned over the table at breadstix , laughing. "I´m so full."

"So, I guess this dinner is over then." Tyler said.

"Would you like to pay?" a waiter came to our table.

"Yeah," Tyler said, and searched through his pockets. "We´ve got a check, here it is." He gave the check to the waiter, he thanked for it and walked away. I stood up, pulled my hoodie over my head, and Tyler pulled his jacket on. Then we walked outside.

"Oh, I don´t want this evening to be over yet." I sighed. "I´ve had such a great time."

"We can go for a walk if you want to" Tyler said. "I can drive you home later."

"Yes please."

We walked around the town, talking. When I got cold, he let me lend his jacket.

"So, did you enjoy the evening?" he asked when we stood by his car.

"Yeah, did you?" I asked.

"I enjoyed spending time with you." He walked a step closer to me, and lay his arm around my shoulders.

"I enjoyed spending time with you as well." I said, a bit nervous. And then… he kissed me, just fast, on my lips.

"Oh, sorry." He seemed nervous.

"You don´t need to be sorry, I like you too." I said. I looked up at him, and then, we kissed each other again.

"I think I´m gonna walk home." I said. "I need to think by myself for a while." I gave him his jacket back, and then walked over the parking line, and to the road.

It was true, I really liked Tyler, I felt so happy right now. But at the same time, the thought were spinning in my head.

"Pst, Lex." I could hear someone say from the side of the road, and I looked over there. Where Teeghan stood.

"Yes?" I said a bit insecure, and she showed me to go closer.

"Keep your hands of Tyler" she said. "He´s mine."

"What are you talking about" I asked.

"What does it sound like?" she asked, "keep your hands of Tyler."

"Well," I said. "You can´t own people, and if you didn´t see it, he kissed me first."

"Didn´t you hear what I was saying, keep your hands of him, he´s mine. He´s just being nice to you, because he feels sorry for you."

"Nobody has to feel sorry for me." I said.

"Didn´t you understand, we´ve been together for like, one year. I know him,"

"So, when he kissed me."

"He was cheating on me, yes. But I´ll forgive him for that, because me and Tyler, we´re meant to be together." I swallowed, trying hard not to cry.

"Ok, I´m sorry then." I turned around, and kept on walking. I hadn´t walked more than a few steps when I started crying, and I walked into a side road into the house streets, when I suddenly felt like someone was watching me. I looked over the shoulder, and then I saw a boy. About thirteen or fourteen years old, following me. I started running, and so did he. What was this? Who was he? I ran faster, and up on the driveway, I pulled the door open, and into the house.

"Lex, is that you?" I could hear Carole shouting from the living room. "I didn´t care about her, I just walked straight over the floor and up to my room.

"Lex?" she opened the door.

"Leave me alone, please." I said.

"What´s wrong?"

"Leave me alone, please just leave me alone."

"I´m not leaving you alone," she came to sit down on my bed. "What´s the matter?"

"Boys," I mumbled.

"I understand, and I´m here if you wanna talk."

"No thanks."

"Is there anything else you want?" I turned my head to look at her.

"Can I have a hug?" I almost whispered. She nodded, and embraced me when I sat up.

"There dear," she comforted me. "It´s gonna be all right."

**So, this thing about writing about love, isn´t really my strongest side. But I´ve tried my best. I might change it I come up with an idea for Lex and Tyler´s conversation by the car. **

**So, that boy that´s following Lex is gonna turn up many times, who could it be?**


	28. Never gonna let me go

That weekend, I tried not to think about Tyler. It actually went pretty well, because I spent the weekend with Burt, who was trying to teach me how to ride a bike.

At Sunday evening, I was really nervous about going to school and see Tyler again, but on Monday morning, when I woke up. I felt like crap, it turned out to be a temperature, and it got me to stay home for the whole week.

The next week, I tried my best to ignore Tyler. It was not that easy, because he seemed to do his best to do the exactly opposite thing.

A couple of times during the next weeks. I saw the same boy that had been following me, that night when I had been at breadstix. Sometimes, he followed me when I was going to school in the mornings, sometimes he was following me when I was on my way home. I tried not to care about him, but this was getting scary.

I had such a strong feeling that I had seen this boy somewhere before, but I couldn´t remember where. Because when I saw him, he had always a hoodie pulled up, and sunglasses, and that made it hard to see his face properly.

Two weeks and a couple of days after the breadstix- incident. I was still ignoring Tyler, and I didn´t know that he was talking to Mr. Schue about it.

"So, glee-clubbers." Mr. Schue said when he came into the choir room, a Monday in the beginning of November. "The lesson this week is pretty simple. Love gone wrong." I looked around the choir room, at the others.

"Mr. Schue?" I raised my hand, "is there a special reason for this assignment?"

"No." I could see clearly that he was lying. "Heartaches, and problems with love, just seem to be a thing that often returns, in life of teenagers." He smiled, and turned around towards the piano.

"So," when we walked out of the choir room, I couldn´t keep away from Tyler anymore and he came to start talking to me. "What do you think of this week´s lesson?"

"Guess it can be all right." I said. "Mr. Schue´s right, heartaches and problems with love, often comes up in lives of teenagers."

"Do you believe in love that last forever?"

"No."

"Why not?"

"How can you believe in something, you´ve never seen?"

**Next day, glee club. **

"Mr. Schue," I raised my hand. "I would like to perform a song."

"The floor´s yours." Mr. Schue sat down and I got onto the floor, I jumped up, to sit at the piano, and then the music began.

_I've been looking at people and how they change with the times_  
_And lately all I've been seeing are people_  
_Throwing love away and losing their minds_

_Maybe it's me who's gone crazy, Cause I can't understand why_  
_All these lovers keep hurting each other,_  
_When good love is so hard to come by_

_So what's the glory in living?_  
_Doesn't anybody ever stay together anymore?_  
_And if love never lasts forever, tell me_  
_what's forever For?_

_I've been listening to people and they say love is the key_  
_And it's not my way to let them lead me astray_  
_It's only that I wanted to believe_

_So what's the glory in living?_  
_Doesn't anybody ever stay together anymore?_  
_And if love never lasts forever, tell me_  
_what's forever For?_

_I see love hungry people tryin' their best to survive,_  
_When in their hands is a dying romance,_  
_If they're not even tryin' to keep it alive_

_So, what's the glory in living?_  
_Doesn't anybody ever stay together anymore?_  
_And if love never lasts forever, tell me_  
_what's Forever For?_

I had barely finished the song, and jumped down on the floor, when Tyler stood up, and pulled me out with him in the corridor.

"Look," he said. "Whatever Teeghan told you, it´s not true."

"How could you know it was her?" I asked.

"Well, at first you seem to like me really much. And then you ignore me all of a sudden. I have a mind to think with you know."

"Yes, it was her."

"So what did she say?"

"That you guys are a couple and…"

"No," Tyler said. "I broke up with her like, a month ago."

"You… you did?" I stuttered.

"Yes, and I know exactly which song to sing now." Tyler turned around, and we walked back into the choir room, I sat down, and then, the music started again, and Tyler began to sing.

_You´re so wrong I`ll be long gone.  
What did you think now?  
that I`de be waiting by the phone  
My eyes wide open  
my mind set.  
I will be living like I want and  
you`ll be all alone. _

_There`s nothing you can do now.  
You better face the fact.  
There`s nothing you can do now,  
cause I`m not coming back._

_Made up my mind, mind, mind, mind  
this time I`m leaving you behind, hind, hind, hind.  
Couse baby I just can`t go on and on  
when I know that you will never let me go  
eoo  
(eoo)  
eoo,  
(eoo)  
No you will never let me go.  
Never gonna let me go  
(go),  
never gonna let me go  
(go),  
never gonna let me go  
(go),  
never gonna let me go  
(go, go, go)_

_I`m so right in the strobe light.  
What did you think now?  
that I`d be on my own tonight.  
I got my purse  
(check),  
I got my girl  
(check),  
and all your diamonds and your pearls gave me a fat check. _

_There`s nothing you can do now.  
You better face the fact.  
There`s nothing you can do now,  
cause I´m never coming back._

_Made up my mind, mind, mind, mind  
this time I`m leaving you behind, hind, hind, hind.  
Cause baby I just can`t go on and on  
when I know that you will never let me go  
eoo  
(eoo)  
eoo  
(eoo)  
no you will never let me go.  
Never gonna let me go  
(go),  
never gonna let me go  
(go),  
never gonna let me go  
(go),  
never gonna let me go  
(go).  
Never gonna let me go  
(go),  
never gonna let me go  
(go),  
never gonna let me go  
(go, go, go, go, go, go, go..)_

_Made up my mind this time you see,  
It`s what`s best for you and me.  
Nothing left for us to show.  
You would never let me go  
(Ooohh, Yeahhh)_

_Made up my mind, mind, mind, mind  
this time I`m leaving you behind, hind, hind, hind.  
Couse baby I just can`t go on and on  
when I know that you will never let me go  
eoo  
(eoo)  
eoo,  
(eoo)  
No you will never let me go.  
Never gonna let me go  
(go),  
never gonna let me go  
(go),  
never gonna let me go  
(go),  
never gonna let me go _

"Whoo." Ethan screamed. "Great job Ty, guess we all know who it was for." He turned his head and looked at Teeghan, who looked furious, and sad. She stood up, and walked out of the room.

When I had been to my locker, and had gotten my hoodie and my bag. I walked towards the door to the school, I walked past the auditorium. When I could hear someone talking in there. I walked in and saw Teeghan standing there, she held something in her hand, but I couldn´t see what it was.  
"goodbye cruel world." She raised her hand, and then I saw what it was.

A knife.

"TEEGHAN, NO."

**The songs are What´s forever for, Billy Gilman (yes, I know the original was made by Michael Murphy) and never gonna let me go by Paulina Starborn **

**Preview for next chapter**

"**Tyler´s the only one for me, I have no one else."**

"**I´m pregnant." **

"**He´s got a braintumor , the doctor says he´s got, at the most four months to live." **


	29. Kurt

Teeghan lowered the knife when I shouted.

"Teeghan," I shouted once more, and started to run down the stairs to the stage. I jumped onto the stage.

"Don´t walk closer," she pointed the knife towards me, "I`ll stab you if you did."

"TEEGHAN, LEX." We could hear from the door to the corridor, we both looked up, and could see Mr. Schue standing in the door. But not for long, he ran down to the stage.

"Teeghan." He walked onto the stage and came to stand next to me. "Teeghan, put the knife down, we can talk about this."

"Yeah, maybe we can." She pointed the knife towards me again. "We can talk about how she stole my boyfriend."

"Teeghan, she didn´t steal your boyfriend." Mr. Schue said. "Yours and Tyler´s relationship was bad, long before Lex joined the glee- club."

"She still stole him." Teeghan had started crying now. "Tyler´s the only one for me, I have no one else."

"Teeghan, Teeghan look at me." Mr. Schue said. "You have someone else, in New Directions, we´re a family. You´ve got us, and someday, you´ll meet someone, that just, takes your breath away, And you´re gonna get married, have kids…"

Teeghan dropped the knife, I saw my chance, and ran to her, and pulled away the knife. Then I ran back to Mr. Schue, Teeghan was crying worse than ever now, she fell down on her knees, sobbing. I gave the knife to Mr. Schue and then I ran to her, and without thinking, I embraced her.

"It´s gonna be all right" I said. "It´s gonna be all right."

"No," she sobbed. "No it´s not, you don´t understand. I…" I let go of her, and backed away, though I still sat on my knees.

"What is it I don´t understand?" I asked.

"I… I´m pregnant." She dropped it like a bomb. I didn´t know what to say. So I looked up at Mr. Schue, he still looked as calm as he always did, he came to squat down in front of Teeghan too, and laid his hand on her shoulder.

"Teeghan, have you told your parents about this?" he asked. Teeghan looked up at him.

"No," she said. "I was getting an abortion, and then, the ones who do abortions needed my parents to sign a paper. And, I can´t tell them, so, so, suicide, was the only choice I could see."

"Ey," he looked her into the eyes. "Suicide, is never the only option. Come on, stand up. I´ll drive you home, and then I´ll help you to tell your parents." She nodded, Mr. Schue pulled out a tissue from his pocket and gave it to her.

I pulled my bag over my head again, and went home.

**Next day, before glee club**

"So, how did it you yesterday?" I asked Teeghan.

"Good." She said. "They understood, I´m getting an abortion this weekend."

"Ok," I turned around, and walked to my locker. When I was there I meat Hayley.

"Hi Hayley," I said. "Looking forward to glee club?" She shrugged, and still didn´t look at me.

"Hey, you´re ok?" I leaned against the lockers. She shrugged once more.

"What´s the matter? Do you wanna talk about it?" Now she looked at me, and I could see that she had been crying.

"Dad have had so much headache in the last months, he went to the doctor a while ago.

"Is it bad?" I asked, and Hayley nodded.

"He´s got a brain tumor," Hayley took a deep breath. "The doctors says, that he´s got, at the most, four months left to live." At the last thing she said, the tears came streaming down her face again. I laid my arms over her shoulders. Not really knowing what to say.

"I think I´m going home now, will you tell Mr. Schue, I won´t come to glee club."

"I will," I held out my hand. "Give me your phone." She laid her phone in my hand, I pressed some numbers.

"If you need someone talk to, doesn´t matter if it´s day or night. And whatever it is, call this number." I gave it back to her. "Now try to get some rest." I clapped her shoulder, and then walked to the choir room.

**After school. Burt pov.**

"So, are you ready?" I asked Lex. This had to be about the hundredth time Lex would try to ride the bike down the street.

"As ready as I´m ever going to be." She laid her feet on the pedals, and started riding it. I ran after her, with my hand holding the rack. And then, I let go.

"YES," I shouted her. "You´re riding it on your own Lex, you´re doing it…. Wait, NO, TURN, TURN, BRAAAAKE" But too late, she had crashed into the neighbor's mailbox. And, now laid on the ground, I rushed to her side. Only to discover, that she was shaking, of laughter.

"How do you it?" I asked and helped her up.

"Hey dad." I heard behind me, and I turned around, and saw Kurt standing there, with a big smile on his face.

"Kurt, my boy." I hugged him, and span around. "But, but, the half term isn´t until next week. How?"

"Oh, the school let us take free time about a week earlier."

**Lex pov.**

I picked up the bike from the ground.  
"Hey, Burt. I´m trying one my own once or twice." I said, and then I sat back on the bike. I laid my feet on the pedals, and kicked in the ground to make it move a first, then I started riding it. I cycled, down the road, then I made a turn, and cycled up the road.

"Hey, hey. I´m riding a bike." The boy, I guessed was Kurt turned around, and looked confused Burt had got a big smile on his face. "I´m riding a bike," I said once more. "I´m riding a bike." I braked and stepped down from the bike. I could feel that I was smiling really big.

"You know what this means?" I asked.

"No." Burt said.

"That I can cross one thing from my list. I lead the bike over the driveway. Leaned it against the wall, and walked into the house, with Kurt and Burt behind me. I ran up to my room, to get the list and a pen.

"Who are you by the way?" Kurt asked when I came back downstairs.

"Sorry," I said. "I´m Lex, and… I kind of live here." I looked at Carole and Burt, and tried to make them explain the rest.

"She does," Carole said. "Mr. Schue took her here, because she wanted to learn how to knit."

"Ok." Kurt nodded and sat down in the sofa.

"So," I said, and took the pen and the paper. "At first, I can cross number ten, because Carole taught me how to knit." I draw a cross over number ten, "only nine things left. Then... I can cross number nine, because I know how to ride a bike." I crossed number nine.

"Only eight things left then." I said and smiled.


	30. Empty room

**Tuesday, glee club.**

I walked into the choir room, I had planned a surprise to Mr. Schue, who now sat with his back towards me.

"Hrm," I cleared my throat. "Mr. Schue?" He turned around.

"Yes, Lex."

"I´ve got a little surprise for you" I turned around, towards the door, and whistled. In walked, not only Kurt, but also Blaine and Rachel. I turned my head towards Mr. Schue again, who had now got a huge smile on his face.

"Kurt, Blaine, Rachel," he stood up and hugged them all, one by one.

"Hey Mr. Schue." Blaine said.

"Everybody," Mr. Schue said. "This is some of my earlier glee- clubs, Kurt, Blaine and Rachel." '

"Hi." Kurt said. "So, Mr. Schue, what´s this week´s lesson."

"Love gone wrong."

"That´s good," Rachel took a step forward. "Because I found this great song, on spotify the other week, and, Brad, if you could." She looked back at Brad, who nodded and started playing, I, Mr. Schue, Kurt and Blaine sat down with the other glee-clubbers, and Rachel started singing.

_ Sitting Here Alone With My Memories  
Staring At a picture of You and Me  
They Say I look fine  
But if walls could talk  
They tell you about how much I break apart_

_I think we were right  
But We Did it Wrong  
Ever Since you Left Me I Just Can't go on  
No, I can't even read the news today, cause everything  
reminds me of yesterday_

Empty Room, Empty Heart  
Since you been gone  
I Must Move on  
Empty Room

I never realized it could make me cry  
To hear the children laugh and play outside  
I walk in the park  
Shouldn't be that Bad  
But Everything we valued seems to make me sad

I thought we were good  
We Were Meant to be  
The Way it Turned out is still a mystery  
No, I can't even read the news today, cause everything  
reminds me of yesterday

Empty Room, Empty Heart  
Since you been gone  
I Must Move on  
Empty space, lonely days  
My Life Goes On  
Just Like The Moon

And To Sail Across The Sky Alone  
For Every trying to find it's home  
I Can't Believe I have to say  
I Don't Know Where U Are Today

Empty Room, Empty Heart  
Since you been gone  
I Must Move on  
Empty space, lonely days  
My Life Goes On  
Just Like The Moon  
Empty Room  
Ouhh Empty Room

We clapped our hands, and gave Rachel a round of applause, and then she sat down with us others.

"Where is Hayley by the way?". Ethan bent forward to me and asked.

"At home."

"Why?"

"Not my thing to tell."

"Oh, ouch." He joked. "Hey, Mr. Schue, do you know where Hayley is?" Ethan tried.

"There´s no need to ask Mr. Schue," we heard from the door, and we turned our heads. Hayley now stood in the door, she looked very tired, like she hadn´t been sleeping anything tonight, which I guessed she hadn´t.

"I heard you sing," she looked at Rachel, "you´re good." She jumped up to sit at the piano. "You see, this is gonna come out sooner or later anyway. My dad was diagnosed, with a brain tumour yesterday. The doctors have given him four months, at the most." It went all quiet, Hayley gazed over the group. Then she jumped down from the piano, turned around and walked out of the room, but before she walked out the door. She turned around and said.

"I just came here to tell you that, so there´ll be no rumors, but I´m going home now, and I won´t be here for the rest of the week either." She turned around again, and walked out the room.

"I don´t know what to say." Ethan said.

"None of us do," Mariah said.

"I can´t imagine how Hayley must feel right now."

"I wish there was something I could do."

"But there must be something we could do."

"Guys," Mr. Schue said, "Glee- club is over for today, I think we all need a minute to think about what we just heard." I stood up, and walked out the choir room, and got my bag, and then I walked home.

Later that afternoon, I sat in the sofa in the living room, I had laid a envelope, the one I found inside dad´s mattress on the table, and in my hands I held the notebook that I had used to write letters to Maddie in. I hadn´t opened it since the day, that I started hearing Maddie´s voice in my head.

"Hey Lex, what ya doing?" Burt and Carole came into the living room.

"Try to find the courage to open and read this book." I mumbled.

"What´s in it." They sat down in the sofa on the opposite side of the table.

"Some letters I wrote to my sister." I said, "I-I don´t wanna read it on my own…"

"You just read, we´ll listen."

"OK." I opened the book, and started reading out loud.

**So, ehrm, the song is Empty room by Sanna Nielsen. **

**You´ll probably won´t get another chapter this weekend, because I have this Swedish essay I need to finish. And I have barely started. **

**Preview for next chapter**

"**It´s my fault"**

"**A very special person will come to this school."**

"**He won´t be home for Christmas." **


	31. What do you want?

**So, the Swedish essay went faster than I thought it would, only got four of twelve questions left now, and I´m doing those tomorrow. **

**One thing I want you to know, some things. Like the one about Hayley´s dad, I put in the story, almost just because there´s songs that would fit to that, that I wanna use so badly. **

"_Dear Maddie," _I read

"_There´s so much I wanna tell you, __but I can´t. That´s why I´m writing in this book, I´ll show you it someday. Because I know we´ll meet again. Someday, I just know it Maddie, and I want you to know, that, wherever you are, I love you, I love you more than I love anyone else. _

_Maddie you were my everything, you still are, and I don´t know what I´m going to do without you. Lex._

_Dear Maddie,_

_I think this is the first time, I´ve hated being young. I look forward, and everything I see, is loads, and loads, of years without you, they´re dark. And there´s no way they can go brighter. But I´m gonna stay strong for you Maddie, I´ll live the life, you never got to live. That´s how much I love you Maddie._

_Lex"_

I looked up from the notebook, I couldn´t stand reading any longer.

"Lex, sweetie." Carole began.

"I need to go out for a while," I stood up and rushed over the floor, and before Burt or Carole had the time to stop me, I was out the door, and out in the pouring rain. I walked over the driveway, and onto the road, I walked about a mile, and then I turned around and started walking back, out of nowhere, the boy that had been following me the last few weeks appeared, and started following me, as always, he had his hood over his head, and sunglasses so I couldn´t see who he was.

I started running, so did he. I kept on running down the street, the rain was pouring over me, and my hair and clothes, was soon soaking wet. But I kept on running. When I finally came up on the driveway in front of Burt and Carole´s house, I turned around towards the boy.

"WHAT DO YOU WANT?" I screamed, the door opened and Burt and Carole came running. "WHY ARE YOU FOLLOWING ME, WHAT DO YOU WANT FROM ME?" I screamed.

"I don´t want anything from you." The boy said. "I want you."

"I would like you to go now, and come back another day." Burt said, and placed his hands on my shoulders, but I shook him of, the boy turned around and walked down the street.

"Who´s he?" Carole asked. But I didn´t answer her question, I had started crying again, but I didn´t want her to know.

"Come on sweetie," she laid her arm around my shoulders, and lead me into the house. Then I started sobbing.

"It´s my fault. I should have looked after her better." I sobbed, "she trusted me."

"hush, sweetie," Carole embraced me. "There was nothing you could do, it´s not your fault."

"It is."

"It´s not."

"What´s going on?" Kurt came down the stairs.

"Come on Lex," Carole lead me to the living room, "we´ll go sit down, Kurt, go make Lex a cup of hot chocolate, so she gets something warm. Burt get a towel." I sat down in the sofa, and within a few minutes I held a towel, and a cup of hot chocolate, I didn´t drink it though, I just sat there, and looked right in front of me.

"Who was that boy?" Burt asked. I looked up at him.

"I don´t know." I said, "But I have a feeling that I´ve seen him somewhere before, I just don´t know where or when." I looked down on my wristwatch, and saw that it had passed ten p.m.

"I´m going to bed now," I said, and took my things, and walked up to my room. Where I sat down on the bed, and pulled my shoes of, and my clothes, I switched to a way to big T-shirt, and then laid down, and put the quilt over me.

"Un-break my heart, say you love me again." I hummed, but then, I fell asleep. .

"Hi glee-clubbers," Mr. Schue said when he walked in. "… Marcie, you´re ok." I turned my head to look at Marcie, and then I saw that she was crying silent.

"I´m fine," she said, but it was obvious, that she wasn´t. Ethan stood up, and walked up to the back row, where Marcie sat, and laid his arm around her shoulders.

"We can all see you aren´t," he said. "What´s the matter Marc´"

"It´s just that" she began. "It´s just that, me and my mum talked to dad on the phone, yesterday. We thought he was coming home for Christmas, but it turned out, he isn´t."

" Where is your dad?" Ethan asked.

"Sergeant in Kosovo," she said. "and he won´t be coming home until the middle of January." Big tears were streaming down her face.

"I´m sure it´ll be all right Marcie," Ethan stroke her arm. "You´ll see." She looked at him, then looked back to the floor and nodded slightly.

"So, glee-clubbers." Mr. Schue began. "I have a surprise for you. We´ll have a concert in the gym hall, the last day before Christmas, and someone very special is coming, it´s a Lima- celebrity, so I want you all to be at your best then."

**So, that´s it for today. I just have to say, that every single one, in New directions in this story, are my own characters. And, my favorite is Ethan, I mean, seriously, I love him. **


	32. Being there

On Friday afternoon, we sat on chairs, on the stage in the auditorium, in a row. The music started, and we started singing.

**Ben  
**_This blood is on your hands  
Now no one can save my heart  
And the scar you left can't be repaired  
The knife is in your hands  
Is that a smile on your face  
It's so clear to me_

**Ethan**_  
You're a lovekiller  
You're a love lovekiller  
You're a lovekiller  
You're a murderer_

You're a lovekiller  
You're a love lovekiller  
You're a lovekiller  
You're a murderer

__**Ben and Ethan, (everybody else)**_  
You're a cold blooded murderer  
(Murderer)  
Baby never did I think you could,  
Be such a cold blooded murderer  
(Murderer)  
You're a lovekiller you're a murderer_

**Aiden**_  
I see your strategy  
I bet you've been here before  
You won't stop until you're victims crawl  
Just like a criminal  
You've stolen love away from me  
It's so clear to me_

**Jasper**_  
You're a lovekiller  
You're a love lovekiller  
You're a lovekiller  
You're a murderer_

**Aiden and Jasper (everybody else)**_  
You're a cold blooded murderer  
(murderer)  
Baby never did I think you could,  
Be such a cold blooded murderer  
(murderer)  
You're a lovekiller you're a murderer  
You're a murderer_

**Ethan and Ben  
**_You´re a lovekiller  
You´re a love lovekiller  
You´re a lovekiller  
You´re a murderer_

**Aiden and Jasper  
**_You´re a lovekiller  
You´re a love lovekiller  
You´re a lovekiller  
You´re a murderer_

**Ethan (Everybody else)**_  
OOOOH_

_(You´re a lovekiller  
You´re a love lovekiller  
You´re a lovekiller)  
Ooooh  
heyey.  
You´re a murderer)_

_Yeah_

_(You´re a lovekiller  
You´re a love lovekiller  
You´re a lovekiller  
You´re a murderer)_

_You´re a cold blooded murderer  
(You´re a lovekiller  
You´re a love lovekiller)  
Baby never did I think you could  
(You´re a lovekiller  
You´re a murderer)  
Be such a cold blooded murderer  
(you´re a lovekiller  
You´re a love lovekiller)_

**Everybody**_  
You´re a lovekiller  
You´re a murderer_

_You´re a lovekiller  
You´re a love lovekiller  
You´re a lovekiller  
You´re a murderer_

"Good guys." Mr. Schue clapped his hands, for us. "Now, all of you, have a great holiday, and see you next Monday."

I stood up, took my bag and hoodie and walked home.

"Hey Lex." Carole said when I came home.

"Yeah," I pulled my hoodie over my head, and hang it on a hook in the hallway.

"Can you bring here that list of yours again?" I walked out in the living room.

"Yeah, sure." I walked up the stairs and got it.

"It was some point about shopping huh?"

"Yep, number eight, go on a real shopping tour, where I don´t have to have the second- hand shops as the only alternative." I smiled.

"So, so good we have a person here that´s very interested in clothes and fashion." She looked back at Kurt. "Why don´t you two go the mall one day during the holidays?"

"But I have no money… or I have money, but you can´t get very much for twenty dollars."

"I´ll pay," she said.

"Oh, oh no, no, no, no, NO, Carole, I can´t let you do that."

"Yes you can." Kurt and Carole said at the exactly same time.

"You´re being way to nice to me." I said, and sat down.

"Lex, I know you had, let´s say a rough life before you moved in with Mr. Schue."

"What has that got to do with this?"

"What that has got to do with that, is that. How am I going to explain this? Let´s just say I want to, make your life better. Show how great life can be."

"Carole," I leaned forward. "Don´t you understand? My life, it´s changed so much in the past few months, Mr. Schue, he made it loads better, buy just showing that he cared, while I was still living with my dad. New Directions did to, it made me something to look forward to. And then, Mr. Schue, he let me move into his house, and then you let me move here. Don´t you understand, you´re making my life, so much better, just by being there for me. No money, no clothes, it can ever be bigger, than that I can feel, that I have a family."

"Oh Lex," I could hear from behind me. There stood Burt. "You´ve given us so much to, just by living here, the house seemed so empty before you did, you, you lighten up our day, just by being who you are."

"Wow, so much, just because I didn´t want you to pay for my clothes," I joked, and literally got two pillows thrown in my face.

"Ok, ok." I said. "I´ll go shopping with Kurt."


	33. Shopping

**So, so, I just have to say this. I did the freaking high rope at PE yesterday, and I´m like, SOOOOOOO proud, I´ve got like, bruises on one of my arms after it, and soar red marks on both of my arms, and legs. And I´m so happy, I mean it, I´m like, oh my god, I can´t even explain how happy I am. And, and, now my sister´s in the city I live in, and I´m gonna meet her tomorrow, for the first time since September. so happy. Oh, no my teacher came, gotta go for now. **

**I´m back, now I´m starting the chap. **

"What colors I like?" I said, it was Wednesday, and I and Kurt were out for the shopping trip. "Hm, I like red, and orange. And you know, you can say whatever you want, I am not going to wear anything grey, black or brown, ever again."

"Why not?"

"Because, until I was old enough to go buy my own clothes, black, grey and brown, was the only colors I ever wore. And also, after that, my dad would throw away most of the clothes I had bought for myself, and giving me some other grey, black or brown sweatpants, or T-shirts, or hoodies, everything was way too big as well."

"But I think, that because you like that kind of colors, you´d have to wear something else to, that is like black, white or grey, because otherwise it looks kind of weird."

"I didn´t think about that."

"Is there anything you need, more than other clothes?"

"What about jackets?" I joked. "One raincoat, and one for the winter, because I, my friend, isn´t gonna spend another winter, in hoodies and sweat pants, it´s FREEZING." Kurt laughed. "It´s not funny, when I bought a winter- jacket, my dad burned it, and that´s three years ago, do you know how cold it was the next winter, and I couldn´t even buy a new one, because my dad would have burned that too." Kurt laughed even more. I sighed, and then he took my arm, and pulled me faster through the crowds.

**Seven hours later**

"Oh, I´m so tired, I mean, I don´t think it has ever taken me seven hours to shop before, it has taken like, five minutes, ten minutes at the most."

"You are weird." Kurt said, and threw me a bag of clothes, I caught it, and pretended that it had pushed me down in the sofa, so I laid down. Kurt laughed, and when I lifted my head, I saw that he was shaking his head. Then I laid my head back down on the sofa, with my legs hanging outside the sofa.

"Hello guys." Carole and Burt came into the living room, and sat down in the sofa, on the opposite side of the table from me. "You had a good time shopping?"

"Oh yeah," I sat up, now I was all hyper. "and you know, I´ll show you what we bought, so don´t you show them anything yourself Kurt, but I can´t wait to get some real clothes on, so." I pulled out a pair of red skinny- jeans and a black T-shirt out of the one of the bags. "I´m gonna go change." I jumped over one bag, and ran up the stairs to my room. Where I pulled of my old clothes and threw them on the bed, and pulled on my new ones, then I ran down to the living room again.

"So," I said, and sat down in the sofa, next to Kurt. "We bought…" I reached for one of the bags. "Two jackets, one raincoat, and one jacket for the winter." I pulled out the raincoat; it was dark blue, with an orange pattern, and then the winter jacket, black with bright- orange zippers.

"I… can see you like colors." Burt said.

"Yes," I answered. "I do. And, here we got some T-shirts." I pulled a about, four or five T-shirts of different colors from a bag. "And some hoodies." I pulled out two hoddies, one white and one black, with different pictures on the front. "And some pants. "I pulled out jeans in red, and some blue-jeans, and some sweat pants. "And, a cap for the winter," I pulled out a red, knitted cap and pulled it over my head. "Did I forget to show something?" I searched through the bags again.

"I don´t think so," Kurt said. "Did we forget to buy something?"

"Underwear," I said, mostly as a joke. "Socks, but I´ll fix that myself someday."

"New shoes maybe?" Kurt pointed to my trainers. That had got holes in the front, so one of my toes was seen.

"Maybe," I joked. "But I´ll fix that myself too."

**Monday, glee club.**

"So, glee-clubbers," Mr. Schue came into the choir room. "Now it´s in the middle of November, had a good holiday?"

"Yes" came from us in the New Directions.

"Does anybody know what will happen this week?"

"My birthday," I mumbled.

"What did you say?"

"It´s my birthday, on Thursday"

"Oh, I´ll let you decide what lesson we should have in glee- club this week then."

"Well," I said a bit insecure. "Could we have a simple-plan-week."

"A what?"

"A week when we sing songs by Simple plan, it´s a Canadian band. Their lyrics are really good."

"Simple plan- week it is…. Ben? Where´s your brother?"

"I was gonna tell you about that," Ben stood up and walked out on the floor. "This Friday night, Ethan got in a car with a drunk driver, and they had an accident…"

" What?" Mr Schue began. "Is he all right."

"He was the one in the car that was most hurt, both of his legs are broken on different places, so he´s gonna spend some time in a wheelchair, but yes. He´s gonna be all right."

**So, it took me a while to write this chap, so now it´s actually two days since I did the high rope, and my sister´s here. **

**I´m finishing this chap now, so bye. **


	34. How could this happen?

**Ethan pov**

I rolled the wheelchair I sat in, down the corridor as fast as I could. I was already multiple minutes late for glee- club, this chair had made me come late to every lesson today. It would have been so much better if I had never got in that car, than my legs would have been perfectly fine, and I would actually have slept anything tonight, and it would also be loads easier to reach up to my locker.

"You need some help Ethan?" I could hear someone ask behind me, when I tried to reach for the lock.

"Hey Hayley," I said. "Yes please." I put my hands on the wheels again, turned around, and went backwards.

"The code is 23 44," I said, she nodded, and opened the locker, I continued. "There is a blue twist folder… yeah, that one." I nodded when she pulled out my folder, she gave it to me.

"Anything else?" she asked. I shook my head.

"Ok," she closed the locker and locked it. I turned around and I started rolling towards the choir room. Hayley walked beside me.

"Hey guys, sorry I´m late, it´s this stupid…." I began when I rolled through the door to the choir room, or at least I tried to. "Damn…" I said. "Damn…. I´m stuck." The door wasn´t wide enough, and I had tried to roll in, with the chair a bit more to one side, so I truly was stuck. And I kept on twitch the wheels to try to get away.

"Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey." Mr. Schue came running, he grabbed the front of the wheels, twitched me to the left, and then pulled me into the room.

"Thanks," I said. "Sorry I´m late,"

"It´s ok," Mr. Schue clapped my shoulder. "So, do you want to tell us what happened,"

"Well, there´s not really much to tell."I twitched the wheels and laid back, so I could rest on the back- wheels. "I got in a car with a drunk driver, very bad decision. Don´t you ever do something like that." I gazed over the rest of the glee- club. "And, well, we crashed, the road was pretty empty, but Michael, the driver, he got a skid, and the car got into the ditch, after flipping a few laps, though I don´t really remember anything. Any questions?"

"How long has it been?"

"Did you have any seat belts on?"

"Ehrm, last Friday so…" I counted on my fingers. "one week and four days, and no, we didn´t have any seat belts on, though. I was the one most hurted so, I guess we were lucky."

"You were," Mr. Schue stood up and walked over to me. "You were really lucky."

"Hrm." I cleared my throat. "Ben told me it was simple plan- week, he said that it was Lex´s idea," I looked over to Lex, who nodded. "He told me, that you said it´s your birthday on Wednesday."

"Oh," she said. "I actually checked the calendar, turned out it´s on Thursday, not Wednesday."

"Ok, whatever…. Well, I´ve been listening to Simple plan a bit before, and there is a song that…. That… I knew it was about car crashes, caused by drunk driving, but I never really understood the true meaning of it until last Friday, could I?" Mr. Schue nodded, I tipped the chair forward and rolled over to the piano, Brad stood up, took his piano chair and walked over to a corner of the room, I laid my hands on the piano- keys, and started playing.

_I open my eyes  
I try to see but I'm blinded by the white light  
I can't remember how  
I can't remember why  
I'm lying here tonight_

"Hey Eth, you need a ride home."

"Sure Michael"

_And I can't stand the pain  
And I can't make it go away  
No I can't stand the pain_

"No Michael, you´re losing control." I grabbed the steering wheel, and tried to help Michael to regain control over the car.

_How could this happen to me_  
_I made my mistakes_  
_I've got no where to run_  
_The night goes on_  
_As I'm fading away_  
_I'm sick of this life_  
_I just wanna scream_  
_How could this happen to me_

I groaned and opened my eyes, I was lying upside down. With smashed glass all around me.

"Michael," I tried. "Michael, you´re ok buddy?"

_Everybody's screaming_  
_I try to make a sound but no one hears me_  
_I'm slipping off the edge_  
_I'm hanging by a thread_  
_I wanna start this over again_

Phone ringing at the Morrison´s Ben picks it up.

"Am I talking to some kin to Ethan Morison."  
"Yes, this is his brother."  
"Are your parents there?"

_So I try to hold onto a time when nothing mattered_  
_And I can't explain what happened_  
_And I can't erase the things that I've done_  
_No I can't_

"Dad, he asks for you," Ben gave the phone to his dad

_How could this happen to me_  
_I made my mistakes_  
_I've got no where to run_  
_The night goes on_  
_As I'm fading away_  
_I'm sick of this life_  
_I just wanna scream_  
_How could this happen to me_

"Your son have been in an accident."

"Ethan? Is he ok?"

"We don´t know yet, but we´d like you to come to the ER as soon as possible.

"BEN, JESSICA, Ethan´s been in an accident." Mr. Morrison threw the phone at the bench in the hallway.

"_Intermezzo." _

"I´m ok dad."

_I made my mistakes_  
_I've got no where to run_  
_The night goes on_  
_As I'm fading away_  
_I'm sick of this life_  
_I just wanna scream_  
_How could this happen to me_

I let the last tone ring out. Then I grabbed the wheels again, and as I stared into the floor, I rolled over to sit down in the outcasts of the group. I could hear someone come and sit next to me. Someone grabbed my hand. I looked up.

"Thanks Marcie, it helps." I said.

"There was something I wanted to show you today," Mr. Schue grabbed a bunch of papers, and walked around to give us those, he came to me at last and handed me the paper.

**Lex´s pov**

"This is the contracts we signed in the beginning of our time in New Directions." I said.

"Good Lex." Mr. Schue said. "It´s the contract, I let all of you, sign, and I told you that if you ever got drunk, you would call me, and I would come and give you a safe ride home. This promise still stands, but… do any of you remember what you thought when you signed this."

"I remember," Liam raised his hand. "I thought you were crazy." I smiled.

"I remember too," Marcie said, "I thought you seemed like a good guy." We laughed.

"I remember too," Hayley said. "I thought about the same thing as Liam."

"Me too," came from Connor and Jasper.

"I thought like Marcie," Tyler said.

"Me too," Anna, Alice and Amy said.

"I thought you were mad," Teeghan said.

"Me too," Johnny said. And Mariah, Aiden and Ben nodded.

"What did you think Lex?" Tyler turned his head to look at me, and so did the rest of the group.

"I remember what happened when I came that day." I said. "My dad, he, well, he beat the crap out of me. It was the day after, that you Mr. Schue, well, you started seeing that something wasn´t right." Mr. Schue nodded. "When I signed this paper," I held it up. "I didn´t really care about the drunk- part, but I thought. That maybe, someday, I would have the courage, to call you, and tell you what was going on, after I had gotten home for the day. Though, I never had the time, you figured It out before I had the time to call." Mr. Schue nodded.

"So, the thing we can say from this," Ethan said. "Mr. Schue is a bit crazy, but he´s crazy because, he cares about his students, and he´s a good guy." We laughed. "And Mr. Schue, I´m so sorry, I should have called you, but… I was drunk, and when you´re drunk, you make stupid decisions. And Ben, and all of you others, I don´t want to hear that you ever get in a car with a drunk driver."

Ben walked over to Ethan. And stretched his arms to the side.

"Oh come on." Ethan rolled forward a bit. "Of course," and then, they gave each other a hug.

"Oh," Ethan groaned. "Ouch."

"Sorry Ethan." Ben stood up fully again.

"It´s all right bro."

"Hold on a minute," Marcie looked confused, how can you two be brothers… I mean…

"You mean that I´m pale and blonde," Ethan said. "And Ben looks Asian. Well, to make a long story short, when I was born, there were some complications, and it ended up with mum getting her uterus removed. But they wanted to have more children, so the got on a list for adoption, which usually take a couple of years, but then, when I was two years old, mum and dad traveled to Asia, and they found this awesome little boy. In a carton on a side road, left there all alone, and they didn´t want to leave him, so they took him with them. And they got an adoption, and a couple of months later, haha, a very long time for a one- week trip, they came home with my little brother."

"Then I get it." Marcie nodded.

**So, I gotta go now, My sister wants to lend the computer, but the song is Untitled by simple plan, and you know, I´ve actually known that part about Ben and Ethan for a really long time. **


	35. Grow up

**Sorry to keep you waiting **

"So, glee- clubbers," Mr. Schue came walking into the choir room on Wednesday afternoon. "I have done some research, about Simple Plan," he jumped up to sit at the piano. "And I found a song, that´s actually written about the life of teenagers, And I figured out, that that´s the song we´re finishing this week with, as a group number, because I think it´s a song that everyone in here can relate to, one way or another. Does anyone have something to perform today?"

"I want"

"We want."

Hayley, and Tyler said it at exactly the same time," Tyler looked to Hayley.

"You go first," he said. Hayley nodded, took a deep breath, and walked down to the floor. Mr Schue came to sit in front of me, and then Hayley started.

"Pierre Bouvier, ´the singer of Simple Plan, he wrote this song, to his brother, who is a Cancer survivor. I wold like to dedicate it to my dad." She turned her head towards Brad, and nodded slightly.

_Take a breath  
I pull myself together  
Just another step till I reach the door  
You'll never know the way it tears me up inside to see you  
I wish that I could tell you something  
To take it all away_

Sometimes I wish I could save you  
And there're so many things that I want you to know  
I won't give up till it's over  
If it takes you forever I want you to know

When I hear your voice  
Its drowning in a whisper  
It's just skin and bones  
There's nothing left to take  
And no matter what I do I can't make you feel better  
If only I could find the answer  
To help me understand

Sometimes I wish I could save you  
And there're so many things that I want you to know  
I wont give up till it's over  
If it takes you forever I want you to know

That if you fall, stumble down  
I'll pick you up off the ground  
If you lose faith in you  
I'll give you strength to pull through  
Tell me you won't give up cause I'll be waiting if you fall  
Oh you know I'll be there for you

_If only I could find the answer  
To take it all away_

Sometimes i wish i could save you  
And there're so many things that I want you to know  
I wont give up till it's over  
If it takes you forever I want you to know  
I wish I could save you  
I want you to know  
I wish I could save you 

When the music had stopped, I was pretty sure there was not a dry eye in the choir room, Mr. Hayley looked down to the floor, but we could all see that tears were streaming down her face. I stood up, walked out to the floor and laid my arm around her shoulders then I lead her back to sit down.

"So," Mr. Schue began, he clapped Hayley´s shoulder, before standing out and walking out on the floor. "That was tough, Hayley, I can´t tell you how sorry I am for what you´re going through right now… But I can tell, that if you need someone to talk to, or anything, you know where I am, and you can call at two a.m. if you want to." Hayley nodded.

"Thanks," she whispered.

"So, Tyler, did you have something?" Mr. Schue turned his head to look at Tyler, who nodded.

"Yes, me Connor and Liam have put something together…. I think." The three boys stood up, Tyler took the guitar, and then, all three of them stood on a row, and they started singing.

**Liam**_  
This is who I am  
and this is what I like  
GC, Sum and Blink and Mxpx rocking my room  
if you´re looking for me  
I'll be at the show  
I could never find a better place to go_

**Connor**_  
Until the day I die  
I promise I won't change  
so you better give up_

**All three**_  
I don't wanna be told to grow up  
and I don't wanna change  
I just wanna have fun  
I don't wanna be told to grow up  
and I don't wanna change  
so you better give up  
cause I'm not gonna change  
I don't wanna grow up  
_

**Tyler**_  
I like to stay up late  
spend hours on the phone  
hanging out with all my friends  
and never being at home  
I'm impolite and I make fun of everyone  
I'm immature but I will stay this way forever  
_

**Connor**_  
Until the day I die I promise I won't change  
so you better give up_

**All three**_  
I don't wanna be told to grow up  
and I don't wanna change  
I just wanna have fun  
I don't wanna be told to grow up  
and I don't wanna change  
so you better give up  
cause I'm not gonna change  
I don't wanna grow up  
_

**Tyler (Liam)**_  
I don't wanna be told to grow up  
(grow up, grow up)  
I don't wanna be told to grow up  
(grow up, grow up)  
_

**All three**_  
I don't wanna be told to grow up  
and I don't wanna change  
I just wanna have fun  
I don't wanna be told to grow up  
and I don't wanna change  
so you better give up  
I don't wanna be told to grow up  
and I don't wanna change  
I just wanna have fun  
I don't wanna be told to grow up  
And I don't want to change  
So you better give up  
No I don't want to change  
So you better give up  
Cause I'm not gonna change  
I don't wanna grow up!_

When the music stopped, I was biting my lip not to laugh, not that it hadn´t been good… it was just that, these three boys together, it worked, but all three of them were jokers, Liam the biggest one, and for the ending, Connor had jumped up on the shoulders of Liam and Tyler and it ended up with all three of them on the floor.

"You´re all right?" Mr. Schue asked. But the boys laughed so much they couldn´t answer, then I heard some giggling next to me, and I turned my head, to see Hayley sitting there, though the last time I´d looked at her, she had been crying, now she was laughing.

"Hayley…are you crying and laughing at the same time?" I asked, she nodded and placed her face in her hands, shaking of laughter.

"You are weird," I sighed, and shook my head. But I couldn´t keep myself from laughing anymore, so I started to.

"It´s your birthday tomorrow, right?" Hayley said when we were on our way out of the choir room.

"Yes," I nodded. "But don´t mind about it. I don´t really like it."

"Why not?"

"When I lived with my dad, things like, my birthday, was just an excuse for him to drink more than usual. And that was a lot, and then… he used to beat me up, so that´s the only birthday presents I´ve got since mum left."

"When did she leave?"

"When I was eight… no, wait…" I counted on my fingers. "I had just turned nine."

"And you´re going on fifteen now huh?"

"Yes"

"So, getting beaten up is the only birthday- presents you´ve gotten in… six years."

"Yes. But can I ask you a question now?"

"Mhm,"

"How did you succeed to laugh and cry at the same time?"

"I don´t know." When we had gotten our stuff, we walked out of the school and out. "Seriously. There´s so much going on right now, so I don´t know really what to do."

"I get it," I nodded. "Bye," I waved to her when we had to go in different directions.

I walked towards Burt and Carole´s house, hang my jacket next to the door, and walked up to my room. Burt and Carole hadn´t arrived home yet. So I was home alone, I sat down on the bed, I took the notebook, I had my letters to Maddie in. I had read most letters the last few weeks, with company of Burt and Carole. And I had about ten letters that I hadn´t read. It had been tough to read them, and I had taken a walk, afterwards every time.

I was gonna read it again when Burt and Carole came home, but I didn´t wanna go out after this time, I was gonna stay inside. Because there was no way I could run away from my feelings.

I laid the book back at the bedside table, and took the envelope with pictures, I hadn´t had the courage to look at the pictures yet, and I didn´t knew when I would have.

**So, that´s it. **

**The songs are save you and grow up by simple plan.**

**And while writing that part, when Hayley´s laughing so she´s shaking, it brought back a memory for me, and you don´t need to read this, because I seriously don´t know why it got me thinking about this. But, whatever, I had a crack in my coccyx almost two years ago, and as you can understand, it hurted… really bad. And, it hurted to laugh for like, five weeks, because when you´re laughing you´re shaking in this strange way… seriously, it hurted so much, and that probably made me laugh even more. "shaking my head." I´m stopping now. **


	36. Jet- lagged

**So, I´m sorry that I wrote that author´s note in the ending of the last chap… it was almost midnight, and when I´m tired, I start talking rubbish. I mean it… so, don´t care about it if I do it again ok?**

"So, glee-clubbers," Mr. Schue began as usual when he walked into the choir room, at Thursday afternoon. "I think we´re going to the auditorium today." We all stood up and walked out to the corridor, where Marcie met us, though she was talking to someone on the phone. Then we walked into the auditorium

"You can go sit down on the stage," Mr. Schue said. "I´ll go help Ethan." We walked down to the stage and sat down on the floor, and then Ethan and Mr. Schue arrived.

"Yeah, it´s Simple plan week." Marcie said. "Yes, it´s kind of cool, I guess… No I haven´t preformed a song yet… we could… what song do you mean dad?... ok… Mr. Schue, is there any way I can connect the phone with a loudspeaker and a microphone." Mr. Schue and Marcie stood up and connected Marcie´s phone to a loudspeaker and a few microphones, that kind of microphones that you pull over your head. Each one of us, got one of those, and then we could hear what the man in the phone said, and talk to him through the microphones.

"Hey, everyone," he said. "I´m Sgt. Michael Taylor, and I´m Marcie´s dad… As you maybe have heard, I´m a Sgt. In Kosovo, I´m coming home in eight weeks, and I haven´t seen my little girl…" Marcie blushed. "Since January in the beginning of this year. Neither have I sang with her since before then, so I thought that maybe I and Marcie could sing this simple- plan song to you now."

"We´d be honored to, Mr. Schue said."

"Okay… Marcie, you´re gonna know which part of this song, you should sing, as soon as I´ve started."

"Ok, dad." Marcie said.

**Sgt. Taylor **_Marcie_ Both (Glee club boys)

**What time is it where you are?**  
_I miss you more than anything_  
**Back at home you feel so far**  
_Waitin' for the phone to ring_  
**It's gettin' lonely livin' upside down  
I don't even wanna be in this town  
Tryin' to figure out the time zones makin' me crazy**

Tyler and Liam jumped up on their feet, Tyler ran to get the guitar, and Liam took the drums.

**You say good morning  
When it's midnight  
Going out of my head  
Alone in this bed  
I wake up to your sunset  
And it's driving me mad  
I miss you so bad  
And my heart, heart, heart is so jetlagged  
Heart, heart, heart is so jetlagged  
Heart, heart, heart is so jetlagged  
**(Oooh oooh)

_What time is it where you are?_  
**Eight more weeks and I'll be home**  
_I keep your picture in my car_  
**I hate the thought of you alone**  
_I've been keepin' busy all the time  
Just to try to keep you off my mind_  
Tryin' to figure out the time zones makin' me crazy

**You say good morning  
When it's midnight  
Going out of my head  
Alone in this bed  
I wake up to your sunset  
And it's drivin' me mad  
I miss you so bad  
And my heart, heart, heart is so jetlagged  
Heart, heart, heart is so jetlagged  
Heart, heart, heart is so jetlagged  
Is so jet lagged  
**(Oooh ooooh)

**I miss you so bad**  
(ooh)  
_I miss you so bad_  
(ooh)  
**I miss you so bad**  
(Ooh)  
_I miss you so bad_  
(Ooh)  
**I miss you so bad**  
(Ooh)  
_I wanna share your horizon_  
(ooh)  
**I miss you so bad**  
(Ooh)  
And see the same sunrising  
(ooh)  
_I miss you so bad_  
(Ooh)  
Turn the hour hand back to when you were holding me.  
(Ooh)

**You say good morning  
When it's midnight**  
**Going out of my** **head'**  
(Ooh)  
**Alone in this bed**

(Ooh)  
I wake up to your sunset  
And it's drivin' me mad  
I miss when you say good morning  
But it's midnight  
Going out of my head  
Alone in this bed  
I wake up to your sunset  
And it's drivin' me mad  
**I miss you so bad**

_Maaad_  
And my heart, heart, heart is so jetlagged  
Heart, heart, heart is so jetlagged  
Heart, heart, heart is so jetlagged  
Is so jetlagged  
Is so jetlagged

"Way to go guys." Mr. Schue clapped his hands. "Though, Sgt. Taylor, I think we need to go on with our rehearsal now, you did really well, thank you for your time."

"Thank you." Sgt. Taylor said. "It was plenty of fun singing with you, and Marcie."

"Yes, dad."

"I´ll see you in eight weeks."

"Yeah, see you dad."

"Love you."

"Love you dad, bye."

"Bye." We could hear Sgt. Taylor hung up and Marcie stood up, and pulled out the wires that were connecting her phone to the loudspeakers.

"So," Mr Schue said. "Some of you may remember that Lex´s dad and uncle are coming to see us at sectionals, and we´re making a number that can express what Lex wanna say to them, and I think I found a song that could work out." Mr. Schue grabbed a guitar and started playing.

A while later, I was walking home. Not one person in New Directions, had seemed like they remembered that it was my birthday today, even Burt and Carole seemed to have forgotten this morning, not that I had seen them for very long though, I had overslept, so I just threw some clothes on, took my bag and ran out the door. But could they really have forgotten?


	37. Happy Birthday

**In the last chaps, it´s said that Lex´s turning 15, sorry, my wrong, it´s sixteen, and nothing else. **

I sat down on my bed, and took the notebook with my letters to Maddie, Burt had come home really late in the evening the evening before, so we hadn´t had the time to read the last part of it, There was a knock on the door, and I could hear Carole´s voice on the other side.

"Can we come in?" she asked.

"Sure," I answered and laid the notebook back on the bedside table. She opened the door and came in along with Burt.

"Hey," I said. "You home already?"

"Yes," Burt said. "John took my shift." I nodded.

"Ok," I said.

"Oh yeah, happy birthday Lex." He said.

"Of course, happy birthday sweetie," Carole gave me a hug.

"So… we need to go downstairs, and talk about something." Burt took Carole´s hand, and walked out the door and closed it behind them. I sighed and slide down on the floor.

"LEX" I could hear someone shouting all of a sudden, "Lex, look out the window." I jumped up on my feet and looked out the window, where the whole glee- club stood down in the street, I smiled, and opened the window.

"Happy birthday Lex." It was Connor that was talking; it was also him that shouted. "Come on, close the window and get down here."

"I´m coming." I closed the window, and ran outside, in the hall I grabbed my jacket and pulled it on before I walked outside.

"HAPPY BIRTHDAY" the whole glee- club, including Mr. Schue, Burt and Carole shouted when I came outside.

"Thank you guys…. I thought you´d for…gott…en… oh, fuck… him again." I looked down the road and saw the same boy, that had been following me the last month coming walking. With a big parcel, wrapped in birthday- wrapping, in his hands.

"How on earth does he know it´s today?" I whispered, more to myself then to anyone else, and walked over to him.

"Happy birthday," he said and reached me the parcel, which was wrapped in pink birthday- wrapping with Disney- princesses on. I looked up at the boy.

"You couldn´t find another birthday wrapping?" He smiled.

"Not really, I see that you´re busy." He nodded to the others, "I´ll just go." He turned around and walked down the street.

"I´m gonna go put this upstairs," I mumbled, and turned around.

"You´re not gonna open the present?" Hayley asked.

"No," I looked to the ground. "Not now, you see, I don´t even know who that boy is, he´s been following me for about a month now, and he´s scaring me, I´ll open this some other time." I looked around the group. "I was going to tell you to come into the house, but it´s not really my decision." I looked to Burt and Carole, who both nodded. "So, come on in." I opened the door, and walked in. "As I said, I´m just gonna go, put this, whatever it is, in my room." I pulled my jacket off and hang it next to the door, before I ran upstairs. It seemed like there was some big, framed photo in the present, but I wasn´t sure, because it seemed to be wrapped in bubble- plastic. I out it in the back of the wardrobe, and decided to forget about it… or at least try to.

"So, everyone," everybody from New directions, except Teeghan and Ethan, sat around the living room- table, some in the sofas, some on chairs from the kitchen and some on the floor, I sat down on the floor. "I really thought you´d forgotten my birthday."

"How could we forget?" Johnny said. "I mean, it´s not exactly like we have talked about anything else the last few days, except when you haven´t been around."

"Ethan is at the doctor´s," Ben said. "He was sad that he couldn´t come, but he wishes you a really happy birthday."

"And I tried to talk Teeghan into coming," Alice said. "But she said she had other stuff to do."

"It´s nothing," I said. "Ben, say to Ethan that I´m saying thanks for his wishes, and about Teeghan, well, I didn´t expect her to come either." I smiled.

"Ok, well we´ve got cake… cakes." Mr. Schue held up three boxes.

"And we´ve got presents." Hayley held up a parcel.

"You are being way to nice to me," I said. "I told you, it´s not a big deal."

"No we´re not." Marcie said. "We are being nice, just enough." I smiled and shook my head a little.

"I´ll go get plates, and spoons and a knife for the cake," Carole said.

"How many here want coffee?" Burt asked and counted the ones who raised their hands, and then he walked into the kitchen too.

**So, the first chap of SR in 2013, it´s kind of funny, this Tuesday, I wrote a chap for "you can´t stop the beat"… I started it in the morning, and wrote during the whole day, till I finished it in the evening, the same when I wrote a chap for "when the past catches up" yesterday, and I wrote this over the whole day today… hmm.**


	38. Ned

**I´m so, so sorry.**

"To just have this said…." Aiden said, when everyone have gotten their coffee, and we were about to start eating cake. "Mine and Jasper´s birthday- present to you Lex, is those." He pointed to the two cakes that Mr. Schue was holding on to. "These," he held up two more boxes of cake. "And those." He pointed to Jasper that held up two boxes of cake. I shook my head a little.

"You bought six cakes for..:" I counted. "… eighteen persons." I looked to Aiden and raised an eyebrow, he shrugged.

"What?" he asked. "I like cake." I shook my head more.

"Time for the rest of the presents!" Ben shouted. "Though… there is a small problem…. To see the present I, Ethan and Marcie bought, and the one from… ehrm… Mis…."

"Burt and Carole…. Please." Burt said.

"…. Burt and Carole…. You´ll need to open the one from Ty, Hayley and Connor first." Hayley sat with a big box in her lap, wrapped in birthday- wrapping.

"Hmm," I said. "I think I´ll save that one ´til I opened the rest of them."

"Ok."

"Here you go, open this." Johnny reached me a present. "This one´s from me, Anna and Amy."

"Thank you," I pulled of the paper and found a shoebox. Which I opened, and found a pair of red, low converse.

"Oh, great." I took them up from the box. "Thanks guys"

"That´s good." Connor said. "Because, your trainers are about to fall to pieces," I looked down at my feet, my trainers had wholes all over them, and it was a miracle that hadn´t broke totally yet. I looked up at Connor again.

"Don´t know what you mean." I said ironic.

"So, next then," Alice said. "I can´t give you your birthday- present right now, but I can tell you about it."

"Okay," I took another spoon of cake and listened to her.

"You can say no to this if you want to," she said. "But I´d like to cut your hair," I started to cough, when I swallowed another bite of cake.

"Didn´t know you´re a hairdresser," I coughed.

"I´m not, but I wanna be, and my mum is a real hairdresser, she usually watches when I´m cutting when I cut someone´s hair, then she can help and make it right if I do anything wrong… you don´t want to right?"

"I´d love to," I said. "It´ll be fun get this thing cut off." I put one hand around my hair, and threw all of the waist- long, brown- red hair over one shoulder. "When do you wanna do it?"

"Is tomorrow after school all right?"

"Sure." I said.

"Okay," Mr. Schue said and reached me another gift. "Open this."

"Yes, sir." I joked, and opened it, I found a CD, and a book with chords and notes.

"Greatest hits Westlife." I read on the covers. "Thanks Mr. Schue."

"You´re welcome Lex." He smiled.

"So, only one left, before the big reveal." Liam said, and grabbed a gift that lay beside him. "This is from me and Mariah." He reached it to me. I took it and I unfolded the paper slowly… and found a diary, with a small padlock.

"Thanks Liam…. Mariah," I nodded and smiled to the twins.

"Open it, we´ve already written something in it." Liam said, I started turning the papers it had been wrapped in as well as the diary.

"I think…. I´ll need a key to the padlock for that." I said slowly.

"Oh yeah, that´s right." Liam said and searched through his pockets. "Didn´t you take them sis´?"

"I thought you took them," Mariah said, but also she started searching through her pockets.

"Oh, that´s right here it is." Liam pulled up two keys, hanging from a thin thread out of his jeans- pocket and reached it to me. I opened the notebook. And read from the first page.

"To Lex, hope you´re having a great birthday." I read out loud. "Best wishes, Liam and Mariah Smith…. Thanks."

"Only this left then." Hayley stood up, still holding tightly onto the wrapped box. She walked over to me. "It´s got a cover, and I would recommend that you simply just lift it off."

"Okay," I said, got a grip of the cover, and lifted it off.

"Oh my god," I gasped when I had gotten the cover of, and I laid it to the side. "Oh my god…. Oh my god." I couldn´t really believe that what I was holding on my knee right now, was a cage, with a… fully alive…. Real…. Hamster.

"Oh, my god," I opened a lock to the cage, let my fingers catch around, the small white, and golden- colored animal. Who was at the time, sleeping. I lifted it up carefully and held it to my chest, with one hand around its back, and one hand under its stomach. I lifted it up a little, and held it just under my face, while I studied every single part of it, as if I were afraid that if I didn't, it would soon be gone. And just as I looked at its face, it opened its tiny, all black eyes and looked at me.

"Oh," I sighed, because I didn´t really know what else to say.

"It was Hayley´s idea," Connor said. "Me and Connor went to buy it."

"I guess it was a good idea then…" Hayley looked curious.

"Oh," I said once more. "Thank you…. I can´t tell you how happy I am, thank you."

"The birthday- present from me, Ethan and Marcie" Ben said. "Is the cage, the small house, and those tubes, or whatever it´s called."He pointed to the colorful tubes that were running around the cage, and inside it.

"And our present to you is," Burt began. "Is that, I and Carole will pay for food, sawdust, vet- bills, and other stuff it needs."

"You know what´s great Lex?" Liam said. "You can bring that…"

"It´s not a that…. It´s a boy." Connor protested.

"Whatever, you can bring… him, to sectionals, and regionals and other such stuff, he can be our mascot."

"Of course," I said. "He can be our little mascot."

"Come on then Lex." Mariah said. "Name him,"

"Hmm," I said. "… Ned."

"Ned?" Came from almost every direction.

"He´ll be our mascot," I said. "and N, and D stands for…"

"… New Directions," Mr. Schue said and smiled.

**So, I´m gonna stop that right there.**


	39. In love

We sat in the living room for about an hour, talking and eating loads of cake. When the clock had reached five Marcie was the first one to stand up.

"I need to go home and help mum with the dinner," she said quietly, I thanked her, and then she went out the door. Only a couple of minutes later, Hayley stood up.

"My dad will be home soon,"she said, I nodded, and gave her a hug.

"Thank you," I said. "I´ve had the best birthday ever." And so it went on, Jasper, Aiden and Johnny went at the same time, then Ben, then Anna, the twins, Alice, Amy, until it was only, me, Burt and Carole, Mr. Schue, Connor and Tyler left in the living room.

"I am so happy you didn´t listen to me, when I told you not to do a great deal about my birthday," I said and smiled. "And I have… I could never have guessed that someone would give me a living animal," I looked down at Ned who lay in my hands. "Seriously, I´m just waiting for one of you to say.. no, it was just a joke, I want my hamster back." The others laughed.

"I swear he´s all yours," Tyler said. I smiled again, and scratched Ned under his chin.

"Well," Mr. Schue said. "Suppose I better get home and feed my wife." I stood up and hugged, and thanked him.

"I´m going too." Connor said. "Are you coming Ty?"

"No," Tyler said. "I think I´m gonna stay for yet a while."

"Okay, bye Lex, bye guys." Connor took his shoes and jacket and walked out the door.

"Ehrm, can you follow me to sit outside or something Lex?" Tyler stood up.

"Yeah sure," I put Ned back in his cage and closed it, before I went outside and sat down on the stairs next to Tyler.

"So, what do you think of your birthday so far?" Tyler asked.

"It´s great," I said. "I… oh my god, I´m so happy."

"I…" Tyler began and pulled a small parcel wrapped in birthday wrapping from the pocket in his jacket. "I was gonna give you this when the others had left so… Happy birthday Lex." He gave me the gift.

"You shouldn't have bought this, whatever it is," I said. "You've given me so much already." I opened the parcel slowly, and pulled out necklace, with a silver- chain, hanging from, was a heart in silver and red.

"Oh Tyler," I said. "It´s beautiful! Oh thank you, thank you so much."

"Let me…" he reached for the necklace. I turned my head so I had my neck towards him, and held my hair up. When I turned my head again, my face was really close to Tyler´s, and suddenly his lips reached mine… and this time, everything felt right.

**Carole pov**

It was able to see the stairs outside the door from one of the kitchen, I stood there watching Lex and Tyler, when Burt sneaked up behind me, and put his arms around my waist and his chin at my shoulder.

"You´re not spying are you?"

"No," I said. "Just looking at how cute they are together."

"They sure are." I smiled when Tyler put a necklace around Lex´s neck, then they kissed.

"I think we should stop looking now," I pulled of Burt´s arms and walked to the sink, where the dishes from the party were laying. After a few minutes, Lex came in again, totally shining of happiness, she jumped up on the bench next to me, and started drying the dishes.

"Lex, you don´t need to do this… it´s your birthday, remember?"

"Oh, no," Lex said ironic. "Have I forgotten it´s my birthday today?... no, it´s fine, I want to do it." I laughed and shook my head to Lex irony.

"You, wanna talk about it and have some girls´ talk?" I asked her.

**Lex pov **

I nodded.

"Oh… I don´t know how to explain"

"I know, I saw you through the window." Carole said.

"I´m… I´m so in love I feel like I wanna dance, run and just scream, show the whole world I´m so happy."

"So why don´t you do that?" three boys I recognized came into the kitchen before Burt.

"Kurt, Finn, Blaine." I jumped down from the kitchen bench, and gave each hug to the boys. "What are you doing here, what about your school... and work…"

"Well," Finn began. "Couldn´t miss my little sister´s birthday right?" he ruffled in my hair.

"We have taken a few days off, we´re going back on Monday." Kurt said.

"Happy birthday" Blaine said.

"Yes happy birthday." Kurt and Finn said at the same time, and they reached me a big parcel.

"Oh, you shouldn´t have…"

"Don´t even try it." Finn said, "come on Lex, it´s your birthday."

"But…"

"No BUTS." Came from five different directions. I smiled, and placed the parcel on the kitchen table. Before I slowly unwrapped it, and found two boxes, one were bigger than the other, and I started to open it, out from it I pulled a beautiful dress, white, with flowers in light paste colors.

"Oh, thank you… oh this is way too much. Thank you, thank you." The others laughed a bit from my reactions.

"You´ve still got one box to open." Kurt said. I hung the dress, carefully on a chair, and took the other box, to find a pair of red, really nice shoes, and a read headband.

"Oh, you´re being way too nice to me thank you… thank you so much." I had tears of happiness in my eyes.

"Well, go upstairs and shift, we wanna see it on." Kurt said. I lifted the dress up again, and walked upstairs to change clothes.

When I came downstairs again, I first looked through the kitchen door, before taking a step to the side. And showing myself, I tried to cover scars on my arms with my hands.

"They´re so ugly." I mumbled.

"No they´re not." Blaine said. "They´re a part of you… and you´re beautiful." I smiled. And turned around, I had let my hair out to cover the scar from the shot. But I was still insecure of all the scars that could be seen.

"I´m… gonna go change again," I said. "Then you can meet Ned."

"Ned?" Finn looked curious. But I just smiled and turned around to run upstairs and change, when I came downstairs again, I told the others to come to the living room, where we all sat down, I placed the hamster cage in my lap, and reached down my hand to get up Ned.

"This is Ned," I said. "N and D stands for New Directions, Ned´s gonna be our mascot."

"Can I hold him for a minute?" Finn asked. I nodded, and when he held out his hands I placed Ned in them.

"I´m sure you like your name," Finn held Ned in front of his face. "Don´t you Ned… Ouch."

"What happened?" I asked.

"He bit my nose." Finn gave Ned back to me. I laughed.

**So, I´m gonna stop right there, about the dress, shoes and headband. I have no idea if read fits well with paste colors, but who cares, let´s say it does. **


	40. Gone too soon

"How many letters have you got left to read, in that book that you wrote to Maddie in?" Burt asked later that evening, I looked up at him.

"One," I said. "Then I lost the book, and I didn´t find it again, until it fell out of a school book, a few months ago."

"Do you wanna read us the last letter?" Blaine asked, I nodded slightly, and stood up to go get the book, which lay on my bedside table. Then I walked downstairs again, and sat down in one of the sofas. Then I opened the notebook, to the last letter, and started reading.

"_Dear Maddie, Do you know how many letters I´ve written to you now, I´ve counted them, they´re forty-three, forty-four with this one.  
You know, how I was told from the psychologist, that if I somewhere wrote letters to you, things would get better. I didn´t think it would, turned out now, that I was right. People say it´s get better with the time, but I don´t think it´ll ever get better. How could it get better without you here by my side.  
I remember the psychologist asking me, if I would have the money to buy a notebook, or if I wanted one of his. I first said I wanted one of his, but when he pulled out a dark- grey- colored notebook, I changed my mind, you wouldn´t have thought it was nice Maddie, how could I write letters to you, in a notebook I knew you wouldn´t have liked? So I bought one myself, I spent all my money on it, but it was worth it. If you´d seen this one, you would have really liked it, it´s black, with some purple pattern on it. Purple was your favorite color. Do you remember mum always thinking it was pink? So everything in your room was pink. You thought it was so ugly.  
Maddie, you died just before your ninth birthday. It´s not right that someone so young dies, especially not if they´ve got murdered… especially murdered by someone from the family, like you were.  
Maddie, you were seven when she left, Zeb was eight I was nine. I don´t know why mum did just take Zeb with her, but whatever it is, I want you to know, it´s not your fault.  
If I could turn back time, to that evening a couple of weeks before… well, you know what. Maddie, I heard dad and uncle Wyatt talk about their plans, but they were drunk, as usual. I never thought they´d actually do it, if I could turn back time, make something different, I would have taken you, and ran. I´m so sorry I didn´t do that Maddie, I should have. I´m so sorry I was such a coward, and I´m so sorry my fear cost us your life, Maddie, if anyone should have the blame it´s me. But don´t you ever think it was because of you doing something wrong, it was all because of me.  
I´m sorry.  
Love you forever. Big hugs from Lex. _

I swallowed, I didn´t wanna cry, not again.

"I´d forgotten," I almost whispered.

"You had forgotten what honey?" Carole asked.

"That I heard them talk about their plans…. I guess I repressed it or something. I should have… I should have…"

"Lex," Burt took my shoulders. "It´s not your fault, it´s not."

"But."

"Your father is a cruel man, so is your uncle, there was nothing you could do to stop them, it´s not your fault, it never was and it never will be." I nodded, and sniveled.

"I´m gonna take these things upstairs" I mumbled, I laid the book with chords and the CD, from Mr. Schue, and the diary from the twins, along with the notebook with the letters on the top of Ned´s cage, and then I lifted the cage up, and carried it upstairs. I placed the cage on the desk, and laid the other stuff on the bedside table. In the bookcase, the computer I had found in my old house, laid. I suddenly got an idea. I took it, and searched for a simple- plan- song on Google. I found the chords, and sat down on my knees next to my bed, to pull out the violin- case that lay under it. I tuned the violin as fast as I could, and wrote down the chords for the song I had found, and took the papers and the violin and walked downstairs.

"I´ve got an idea… I found a song… whatever. This one´s for Maddie." I took the violin, and the bow, I put the papers on the table in front of me. Then I started playing, and singing.

_Hey there now  
Where'd you go  
You left me here so unexpected  
You changed my life  
I hope you know  
cause now I'm lost  
So unprotected_

_In a blink of an eye  
I never got to say goodbye_

_Like a shooting star  
Flyin' across the room  
So fast so far  
You were gone too soon  
You're part of me  
And I'll never be  
The same here without you  
You were gone too soon_

_You were always there  
and like shining light  
on my darkest days  
you were there to guide me_

_Oh I miss you now  
I wish you could see  
Just how much your memory  
Will always mean to me  
In a blink of an eye  
I never got to say goodbye_

_Like a shooting star  
Flyin' across the room  
So fast so far  
You were gone too soon  
You're part of me  
And I'll never be  
The same here without you  
You were gone too soon_

_Shine on! Shine on!  
To a better place  
Shine on! Shine on!  
Will never be the same_

_Like a shooting star  
Flyin' across the room  
So fast so far  
You were gone too soon  
You're part of me  
And I'll never be  
The same here without you  
You were gone too soon_

_Shine on! Shine on!  
You were gone too soon  
Shine on! Shine on!  
You were gone too soon  
Shine on! Shine on!  
You were gone too soon _

I stopped playing, it went all quiet.

"I´ll go upstairs with this," I mumbled, I took the papers, and the violin. And walked upstairs again, I laid the violin back in it case, and the papers I laid in my school bag. Then I walked downstairs.

"First of all Lex," Kurt said. "That was so beautiful." I sat down again, and thanked him.

"Though," Blaine said. "I thought of something you read in that letter, you said that when you´re mum left, you were nine, your brother eight, and your sister seven…"

" I guess, what you´re thinking about is… why did they have three children in three years, when they didn´t really want them at all… I have no idea why…. But, if you wanted to know, they had me first, at the 17:th of November in 2000 Zeb 16:th October in 2001, and Maddie, 16:th of December in 2002."

"So, Zeb is fifteen, Maddie would have turned fourteen next month." Blaine continued.

"Mum left, December the 15:th, in 2008 Maddie died, November the 28:th 2010. Mum took Zeb with her, I haven´t met either of them since then… When I lived with my dad, I could stand anything, then Mr. Schue took me from there, and I told him about Maddie, and mum, and Zeb, and dad, and Wyatt… I have cried, so much these last few months, much more than I did in years while I lived with my dad. How come I do that?"

"I guess," Carole began. "I guess… that when things are going on, you were so tense, and then when you got from your father, you started relaxing, started realizing what really happened, started remembering, and when you then relax, you cry. Just a guess." I nodded slightly.

"Sounds like a believable reason," I mumbled. I smiled a little, then took the box, with the converse I had gotten from Johnny, Anna and Amy. I pulled of my old shoes, and pulled on the new ones.

"Finn?" I said.

"Yeah."

"Why did you call me your little sister earlier, I´m not your sister."

"Actually, my mum is kind of your foster mum, along with my step dad, so, I guess you are kind of mine, and Kurt´s little sister. Why are you crying again?"

"You just made me really happy."

**Stopping right there. **


	41. Clara

**So, I´ve moved Zeb´s birthdays, because, I realized there´s no way, Zeb could have been born just four months after Lex, I´ve moved Maddie´s too, because I wanted her birthday to be on the date, when sectionals is gonna be. You´ll find out why later. If you read the chapter "the list", in the list, earlier number six was "help children that stuck with alcoholic and abusive parents" and number five was "play the violin, and sing on a stage" Those two have switched numbers, because I´ve got plans for both of them, but there´s no way, I can get in the part about helping a child, before she´s gonna sing and play the violin on a stage.  
And if you wonder, this story has it´s part in 2016. **

That evening, I sat in the window on my room, Ned´s hutch stood on the desk, the dress hang on the wardrobe- door, and the shoes stood under. I had the diary open in my lap, with a pencil in my hand. I looked out the window again, it was pitch dark outside, but there were street- lights by the road. I looked down at the diary again, and put the pencil to the paper. Then I started writing.

_Dear diary… how silly that sounds. How about if I gave you a name? But what name?... how about Clara? You like that? Clara it is then.  
If someone reads this, that person´s probably gonna think I´m really weird, writing in a diary like I was talking to a person, or writing a letter. But I don´t care, I´d like to think about Clara like a human being. And it´s my choice, so whatever?  
I just had the best birthday of my life, no need to explain, but it´s been the best day of my life. My friends are just the best, still can´t believe they actually gave me a living animal, a hamster. His name is Ned, and he´s gonna be New Directions´ mascot.  
Burt and Carole are sleeping in the room, further down the hallway. I can hear Kurt and Blaine chattering in Kurt´s room, across the hall from mine. I can also hear Finn snoring on the other side of my bedroom- wall. The sounds doesn´t annoy me, especially not the snoring, because, if you can hear somebody´s snoring, you know that they´re breathing, and then you know that they´re alive.  
You might wonder why I call the whole family by their first- names, well, that´s because, they´re not my biological family. I´ve lived with Burt and Carole for about a month now, before that I had lived at Mr. Schue´s for about a month. Mr. Schue my history- teacher, and the coach of New Directions, that´s the glee- club I´m in. New Directions were the ones making this birthday the best day of my life. But that´s another story, well, Mr. Schue was the one finding out that my dad abused me when I lived with him. And that´s why I don´t live with my dad.  
when I was nine, my mum took my brother Zeb, and left, I don´t know where, but I haven´t seen either mum or Zeb since then, at least not as I know.  
Then my uncle Wyatt moved in with me, dad and my little sister Maddie. Two years later dad and Wyatt shot both me and her, I survived, but Maddie didn´t.  
Can you keep a secret? Of course you can! I wish that Burt and Carole would adopt me, maybe it´s too much to ask for, I mean one adoption costs like, ten thousand dollars, and Burt and Carole haven´t got loads of money, but… I would still love if they did, then we would be a family. For real.  
Goodnight now Clara, the rest of the house is sleeping now, and I´m going to bed. /Lex. _

I locked the diary, and hid the keys in a leather pouch I had bought years ago, to keep things that meant something in. except the keys, there lay a necklace, that I once gave to Maddie, and her baby- teeth in a small box. I laid it back in the drawer in my bedside table, and laid down in the bed, and pulled the quilt over me. I smiled a bit for myself. And looked to the desk, to Ned´s hutch, it sounded when he was running in his hamster- wheel. Then I turned around and fell asleep.

**The next day, Friday, glee club. **

_Shine on! Shine on!  
You were gone too soon  
Shine on! Shine on!  
You were gone too soon  
Shine on! Shine on!  
You were gone too soon_

I stopped singing, and lowered the violin. We were in the auditorium, the rest of the New Directions, sat down in front of me on the stage, I had just preformed Gone too soon. The others clapped their hands, I reached for the violin- case.

"So, time for the week´s last song then." Mr. Schue said. I nodded, and the others stood up. Mr. Schue continued.

"Liam, you take the drums. Tyler, the guitar, Jasper, electric guitar, and Aiden, you´re on the base." The boys nodded and took their instruments. I laid down the violin on the floor in front of the stage, and ran up to the others, and then the song started.

**Anna **  
_Do you ever feel like breaking down?  
Do you ever feel out of place?  
Like somehow you just don't belong  
And no one understands you_  
**Hayley **  
_Do you ever wanna runaway?  
Do you lock yourself in your room?  
With the radio on turned up so loud  
That no one hears you screaming_

**Anna and Hayley**  
_No you don't know what it's like  
When nothing feels all right  
You don't know what it's like  
To be like me_

**The boys**  
_To be hurt  
To feel lost  
To be left out in the dark  
To be kicked when you're down  
To feel like you've been pushed around  
To be on the edge of breaking down  
And no one's there to save you  
No you don't know what it's like  
Welcome to my life_

**Alice**  
_Do you wanna be somebody else?  
Are you sick of feeling so left out?  
Are you desperate to find something more?  
Before your life is over_

**Marcie**  
_Are you stuck inside a world you hate?  
Are you sick of everyone around?  
With their big fake smiles and stupid lies  
While deep inside you're bleeding_

**Marcie and Anna  
**_No you don't know what it's like  
When nothing feels all right  
You don't know what it's like  
To be like me_

**The boys  
**_To be hurt  
To feel lost  
To be left out in the dark  
To be kicked when you're down  
To feel like you've been pushed around  
To be on the edge of breaking down  
And no one's there to save you  
No you don't know what it's like  
Welcome to my life_

**Lex  
**_No one ever lied straight to your face__**  
**__No one ever stabbed you in the back__**  
**__You might think I'm happy but I'm not gonna be okay__**  
**__Everybody always gave you what you wanted__**  
**__Never had to work it was always there__**  
**__You don't know what it's like,  
what it's like_

**Lex (Liam, Tyler, Aiden and Jasper)  
**_To be hurt  
To feel lost  
To be left out in the dark  
To be kicked when you're down  
To feel like you've been pushed around  
To be on the edge of breaking down  
And no one's there to save you  
No you don't know what it's like  
(what it's like)_

**Everybody (Lex)**  
_To be hurt  
To feel lost  
To be left out in the dark  
To be kicked when you're down  
To feel like you've been pushed around  
To be on the edge of breaking down  
And no one's there to save you  
No you don't know what it's like_

_(Welcome to my life  
Welcome to my life  
Welcome to my life)_

The music stopped.

"Good job guys," Mr. Schue clapped his hands. "Really good. So everyone have a great weekend… and… Lex? Today´s the day Alice´s gonna cut your hair right?" I nodded. "Are you nervous?"

"Not really," I answered. "I trust Alice."

"Let me take a photo, so I´ll have before and after- photos." He pulled up his phone from his pocket and turned the camera on.

"Okay, have a good weekend everybody." I said when Mr. Schue had shooted his photo, turned around and walked out of the auditorium, next to Alice.

"So, what do you want me to do with your hair?" Alice asked when we were walking towards her house. I shrugged.

"Do what you like!" I said.

**I´m stopping there. But first there´s something I gotta tell you. **

**Tomorrow, (Thursday, February the 7:th) it´s exactly one year since I quit taking my meds. It feels… strange.  
We have no school on Thursdays, but I´m gonna go to the school anyway, and just walk around and boast all day long, sounds like a good plan to me. **  
**I think I´m gonna do some writing as well, but probably not for this, because I have a half- finished ghost- whisperer- one- shot, and half- finished chapters for both scarred for life and love is stronger than hate. So, bye until next time. **


	42. Scratch

When Alice had finished cutting my hair, she held a mirror in front of me, so I could see.

"Oh," I said. "Oh, oh my… oh.." I felt through my hair a little, and it was a lot shorter than it had been the last time I had looked myself in the mirror, it wasn´t short though, it reached just above my shoulders, and for the first time I could remember, I had oblique bangs.

"Oh dear" I said again. "Oh my god."

"Don´t you like it?" Alice asked.

"Oh my god," I said again. "I… I love it… oh my gosh, thank you."

"Are you sure you don´t want milk and cookies, girls?"

"No, mum, we don´t want anything." Alice said. "Could you just go, please?"

"But…"

"NOW."

"Oh, it´s fine." I stood up. "My ehrm… brothers is in town until Monday, so I´d like to spend as much time with them as possible." I pulled the shoulder- strap on my bag over my head. "Thank you Alice, Mrs. Harper. Have a good weekend!" I walked out in the hallway, and Alice followed me, and then followed me outside, and closed the door behind us before she started talking.

"I´m sorry about my mum," she said. "She gets a bit over- exited when I bring someone over!"

"It´s okay," I said. "She was nice."

"Yeah, ehrm, by the way, you said in there that your brothers is in Lima to Monday… I thought your brother…"

"I know," I said. "There´s Kurt, that Burt had with his ex- wife, and then there´s Finn, who Carole had with her ex- husband, and then of course there´s Kurt´s boyfriend Blaine, but I guess he doesn´t really count as my brother. Have you got any siblings?"

"Yes, ehrm, there´s my brother Josh, he´s at kindergarten now." I nodded slightly.

"I probably should go home now," I said. "See you at Monday."

"Bye Lex." I turned around and walked down the stairs, when there suddenly was a strange noise, and I could both hear and feel that all the books and papers in my bag falling to the ground behind me.

"Crap," I said, mostly to myself, and held the bag in front of me, the stitching in the bottom had been ripped apart, and that was what had caused the sound. I bent down to pick up everything on the ground, and then kept on walking towards my street. When I got home, I let go of all the books and stuff I held in my arms on the kitchen table.

"Hi Lex," Kurt and Blaine came walking in from the living room, and I turned around.

"Wow, what a major difference," Blaine said.

"You look… amazing," Kurt said.

"Thanks," I ran one hand through my hair.

"Ehrm, why did you carry all those books and stuff in your arms, instead of putting them in your bag as usual?" Blaine asked. I pulled the shoulder strap over my head, opened it, and looked right through the bag.

"You mean this one? Because I don´t think it would be too smart putting important papers and school- stuff in it now." The boys laughed at my joke.

"Who´s that boy?" Blaine pointed out the window, I turned around, and saw the boy, who had been following me so much, walking up the driveway. I threw my bag on the table and almost ran outside, with the boys right after me.

"What is wrong with you?" I pushed the boy backwards, he stumbled backwards, and sat down on the grass.

"What do you want?" I said. "Why are you following me? Who are you anyways? Why won´t you just leave me alone?"

"I watched you when your bag broke!" The boy said. "You… picked your stuff up, but… you forgot this." He reached me my pencil- case. Then he stood up. "I´m sorry I bothered you." He shrugged and walked down the driveway. I heard a strange, suppressed noise and looked to my side, where Kurt and Blaine stood, biting their lips not to laugh.

"Don´t you dare laugh at this." I said. "That boy… he´s been following me for weeks, he even gave me a present yesterday, and I have no idea how he knew it was my birthday. I have no idea who he is. Or how he found me, I just have some weird feeling I should know who he is. I just… I don´t know." I shrugged and walked into the house again.

"I have heaps of homework this weekend!" I picked up the books and papers from the table one at the time. "There´s history, English, Maths and Spanish….. I hate maths by the way. It´s so boring." I sighed, and hang the broken bag over one shoulder. "But I´m gonna start this weekend…. With… getting a new bag!" I walked up the stairs, pulled out a book from my bookcase, I opened it and found an envelope, that I had used to save money in, when I still lived with my dad, so he wouldn´t find them, and take them for beer, like he had done, before I started hiding the money I saved by skipping lunch a few times a week. I pulled out the money I had, and counted them. It would be enough to pay for a rucksack from some sports- store. I put the money in my jeans- pockets and half ran down the stairs.

**Two hours later**

"Hi Burt… Carole," I said when Burt and Carole walked through the door with bags from the grocery store in their hands, I rushed to get the bags, and then placed them at the kitchen table, and placed the groceries in the fridge, in the cupboard, or wherever they should be. While I whispered on a song.

Look what I´ve bought," Burt held up a scratch. He placed it on the kitchen table, and started to scrape of the housing, slowly revealing if we would have any luck today. I smiled to myself, and turned around to lay some groceries in the fridge. When I turned back towards the kitchen table, with the scratch in both of his hands, and just stared at the numbers.

"How much did you win?" I asked. But he didn´t answer. Kurt tried.

"How much did you win dad?"

"I just won…" Burt swallowed. "I just won a hundred thousand dollars."

**So, well, I know what Burt and the others are going to do with the money… I know more than you do, I know more than you do, I know more than you do! Haha. **


	43. Vie

**Monday afternoon**

"So," Burt came walking into the kitchen, "all I have to do is go with this to the bank, and then, we´re rich…. I was hoping we could go all three of us. He looked to me, and then to Carole.

"Sure," I jumped down from the kitchen bench.

"What is it with you Lex? Why can´t you just sit on chairs, like normal people do?"

"Who said I was normal?" I walked out in the hallway, and took my jacket, and my cap, then I walked outside before Burt and Carole, and sat down on the stairs. When they came outside, I stood up, and walked with them down the driveway, and towards the city.

"Burt?" I asked after a minute or two in silence.

"Yeah."

"Which bank did you say we´re going to?"

"The one on the opposite side of the head- street from JC." Burt said like it was nothing, and I guess that to him it was just an ordinary bank… but I stopped, when I remembered which bank it was. Burt and Carole walked a few meters, but when they noticed I wasn´t next to them anymore, they stopped and turned around.

"Lex, you okay?" Burt asked.

"Yeah," I said shortly. "I´m fine, just… nothing." We kept on walking, I could feel my heart pounding in my chest. Harder and harder, faster and faster. When we got into the bank, Burt went to get a queue ticket, then he came to sit down in one of the sofas in the bank´s waiting hall. Next to Carole, he held the ticket in front of him, sighed and said.

"I´ve got number 98, that one," he pointed to the counter. "is on number 85." Carole laughed little, but I didn´t even smile. I sat leaned forward, with my elbows on my knees. I snitched at the memories, more clear than ever, the sound of a gone- shot, someone screaming, Maddie letting goof my hand and collapsing next to me, "Maddie…" shaking her shoulder. "Maddie… WHAT DID YOU DO TO HER?.. Maddie wake up, wake up." Another gunshot, pain… and then, I collapsed, but still with Maddie´s hand in mine."

"Lex… Lex… Come on, earth to Lex." I woke up from my dreams with Burt shaking my shoulder.

"Lex calm down," Carole said. "Breathe, now you´re hyper- ventilating!"

"I remember now," I almost whispered.

"Remember what?"

"Things I couldn´t remember before… I can remember everything."

"What are you talking ab…?" Burt began.

"I feel sick," I stood up and rushed out of the bank. I could hear Burt and Carole shout my name, but I didn´t care about them, I just kept on running, within a few seconds I was out the doors, I walked a few steps to the side and sat down with my back against the wall. I had one leg stretched out, the other one bent, and one of my arms resting on the bent knee. I was just trying to take deep, calming breaths. After not very long, also Burt and Carole came walking outside, they stopped and looked around, but didn´t see me, so I called out.

"I´m here." I said, they turned around, saw me and came squatting down next to me.

"You´re okay? What happened?"

"This is where it happened." I began. "This is where Maddie was killed…. I guess there were stuff I couldn´t remember, because of the chock or something, but now, I could suddenly remember it all, I… I… Maddie was shot first… she collapsed, I tried to wake her up… and then… there was another shot, but as I collapsed I was holding her hand…. I was holding her hand."

"Lex…"

"Could you please, just leave me alone for a minute, I´ll come into the bank again in a while, I just need to clear up my minds a little."

"Yes, yes of course," Burt clapped my shoulders, then they together walked into the bank again, and left me alone. I looked down to the ground, but looked up again when I could hear someone screaming. I stood up when I saw what it was, but I could see it was a mum shouting at her daughter. I watched them in silence, acting like I wasn´t looking at them, but still listening to every word they said. Or, maybe it was more the mum doing the talking.

"I CANNOT BELIEVE I EVER WANTED A CHILD." The woman screamed, and it was clear, that she was drunk, a girl, about eleven or twelve years old. "You´ve meant nothing but trouble for me Vie, I hate you. NOW, I want you to stay sitting at that bench, until I get back, DO YOU UNDERSTAND" Vie- as I guessed was the girl´s name, nodded and sat down on the bench. The woman turned around and walked fast into one on the stores at the other side of the street. As I could see the woman was in the store, and the door had closed behind her, I slowly walked over to the bench, and sat down on the other side of the bench from Vie. When I had gotten this close, I could see that she was wearing white sweat pants, that were move grey an brown than white, and that she was wearing a thin rain- coat, she had her half face under inside the jacket, so I could not see her face, but I could see that she was dirty.

"Hi," I leaned towards Vie a bit. "Are you Vie?" she looked up a bit, and I could now she that the original color of her hair was blonde, and that she had green eyes. She looked down again, and almost whispered me yes.

"I´m Lex. Short for Alexandria, is Vie short for something?"

"No."

"Okay, well I think it´s a really pretty name…. I´m sorry to barge into your private- life. But… I could not help to hear the… well… to hear what your mum was saying…"

"Okay,"

"You know Vie, you´re not alone. Until in September this year, I used to be where you still are. I used to live with my dad, he had some problems with alcohol, and he… well, he used to beat me, pretty much. But thanks to a teacher of mine, who did not believe when I told him, that I had just fallen in the stairs. Today I´m happy he did not believe me, now I`m living at the house of a couple of his friends, and you know… my life´s kind of great, even though the memories aren´t."

"My mum´s fine… she´s just got some problems, but she loves me."

"Yeah, I know… where did these come from?" I pointed to her arm, where dark blue and purple bruises were seen.

"I… I..:" Vie stuttered and pulled her sleeve down.

"I know, you fell in the stairs, didn´t you?" Vie nodded. I sighed. "It´s all right, you don´t have to tell me today, but if you want help to call social services, want somewhere to stay one night, or for a while, or whatever," I searched through my pockets after a paper and a pen, I found what I was looking for, and quickly wrote down my name, address and cell phone- number on the paper, then I reached it to Vie.

"Keep this in your jacket, then you´ll always carry it with you, and Vie…"

"yeah,"

"You´re not alone. And don´t be afraid to call or show up whenever you want, even if it´s in the middle of the night." Vie nodded. "I gotta go, Burt and Carole are in the bank, they´ll get worried if I don´t come in again soon." I stood up. "We´ll take the reason why… some other time."

"Yeah." Vie answered me. She was now looking up fully. I turned around, took a step and then.

"Lex?"

"Yeah," I turned around.

"Shouldn´t you ask your foster- parents if it´s okay for me to come over, before you say that I could`" I squatted down in front of Vie, took her hand, smiled a little. And answered her.

"And what do you think they would do? Kick you out of the house? No, I know them, and I know that any friend of mine, is a friend of theirs, and I know, that if you show up, even if you so are soaking wet and freezing cold, they´ll fix you a hot bath, some clean clothes, a hot chocolate and somewhere to sleep."

"You promise?"

"Promise" I hooked my little finger in hers. Then I smiled, stood up and turned around, I took one step, and then…

"Lex?"

"Yeah," I turned towards Vie again.

"Thanks"

"You´re welcome."

**So, I deleted that author´s note- chap, so some of you, won´t be able to review this, but I´d like to know what you think, so either, you comment for two chaps on the next chap, you review without logging in, or you just send me a PM.  
What do you think about Vie? **


	44. Promises

**I feel kind of bad, I said that I would a lot during half term holidays, and I have written one chapter so long, but, it´s not over yet. Gonna have a harry-potter- marathon with a friend Saturday and Sunday this weekend, and when I´m watching movies (especially movies I`ve seen like, 200 times before) I sometimes write while doing that. **

"Burt? Carole?" I began when we were on our way home from the bank.

"Yes?" Burt answered.

"Just after you had walked into the bank again, there outside on the street, well, I saw this girl. And well, I kind of noticed her… and…"

"Get to the point."

"Hermumseemeddrunksheseemedab itlikeIwouldwhenIlivedwithmy dadandIgavehermynameaddressa ndnumberandtoldhertocallorco mebyifsheneededhelpwithsomet hing."

"Okay Lex," Carole began. "say it again, slowly this time, start with telling us the girl´s name, and for god´s sake, breathe."

"Okay, well, her name is Vie." I began. "And I couldn´t help but notice her, because her mum was shouting so it was heard all over the street, and it was pretty obvious that the mum was an alcoholic, and that she does not treat Vie right. So, when the mum walked into the store, well, I walked to the bench where Vie sat and started talking to her. And, she I tried not to ask about her home, or her mum, I more like, told a short version of what happened when Mr. Schue realized what circumstances I was living under. But she didn't say too much, so I gave her a paper with my name, phone- number and address. And then I told her she would just call or come over whenever she wants, if something happens. And then, she asked me, if I shouldn´t ask you guys before promising her that…"

"….And what would we do if she showed up then?" Burt had an ironic tone in his voice. "Kick her out of the house?"

"Exactly what I said to her," I said. "I also told her, that let´s say she showed up one day, let´s say she was freezing cold, and had got soaking wet clothes on. I said that at our house, she would always get some dry and clean clothes, a bath, hot chocolate and somewhere to sleep… and of course, which I didn´t tell her, help to call social services. Please don´t tell me I told her a promise I can´t keep."

"No, I think you did something great!" Carole said. "and I promise we´re gonna help you keep your promise."

"Thanks." I said. "And, don´t hate me for saying this, but… I kind of hope she shows up some time soon. I mean, when I lived with… you know who, I mean, it was kind of okay, because, I guess you don´t really know how bad it is until you´ve gone through it. So, seeing someone else that´s going through what I did, it makes me so angry."

"We understand!"

"Speaking of nothing," I began. "I wonder what this week´s glee assignment is."

"Well, have you had that mash- up competition yet?" Carole asked.

"No! What´s a mash- up competition?"

"I guess you´re having it this week then, Mr. Schue usually holds it in the middle- fall."

**The day after, right before glee club**

"So, do you think we should like, go out with being together now?" I asked Tyler. "Don´t blame me if it´s too early, I´m not really good at these, girlfriend- boyfriend- rules."

"It´s all right," Tyler answered. "I guess we could say that we´re you´re my girlfriend, but I don´t think we should start telling everyone just yet. Is that all right with you?"

"Yes, I just wanna cross another thing on my when- I – get- away- from- my- dad- list, and the net thing on the list is having a boyfriend." Tyler laughed and punched my arm a little, then he walked away. I let he walk away down the corridor, then I ran after him, jumped up on his back, and kissed him slightly on his cheek." He laughed when I let go of his neck again, and came down on the floor. Then I saw Teeghan, and she did not look happy, she was on her way into the choir room, and had seen me with Tyler, and if only looks could kill… I stopped and watched as she turned around, and walked down the hall, she walked into the ladies room, and suddenly I felt kind of bad, because I knew this hurted her, I knew it because she had hurted me.

"Don´t care about her," Tyler said. "Our relationship was bad long before you came into the picture, it´s just that, that Teeghan can´t really accept the fact and just let go of it." I nodded, and together we walked into the choir room, and waited for the rehearsal to start. And when it started, Teeghan still wasn´t in the room, so we had to start it anyway, Ethan hadn´t arrived yet he neither, but suddenly he walked- yes, walked into the room. He stopped right inside the door, stretched his arms up in the air, and almost shouted.

"Look who´s walking," We others smiled at him, and clapped our hands. Ethan walked to his usual spot, in the front of the room, and sat down.

"I´m glad you´re better Ethan," Mr. Schue said. "So, over to the weeks´ assignment, and this week it´s the mash- up competition." He clapped his hands together. "Girls, take Mr. Trey´s classroom, boys, take my classroom, there´s computers there if you need YouTube to search for the songs you may use." I stood up, and together with the rest of the girls, I walked out of the room. With the boys right after. Teeghan met us on the way to Mr. Trey´s classroom.

"what´s the assignment?" she asked.

"Mash-up- competition." Mariah answered her.

"I know which songs we could use." Teeghan said. "I´m just gonna get up YouTube."

**Liam pov, ten minutes later**

"Guys, guys," I ran into Mr. Schue´s classroom. "I just listened to the girls a little, they´re making a mash-up of two ballads, so maybe we should do something with a little but more speed."

"Maybe we could use this song," Ethan had already YouTube up. And then he put on a song…

…_. She´s like a bomb…._

**So, yes I know this assignment should have been earlier, but I couldn´t get done with the mash- ups, but I´ve fixed with the first one already in the fall some time, and I recently got done with the other one. So we´ll see if I made a good job with them in the next chaps. **


	45. Mash-ups

**So, time for the mash- ups I´ve made, I know I can´t make as good mash- ups as the ones on the show. And yes, I know I`m not a really good singer either… but I´ve sung them and uploaded on youtube, the links will be in the end of this chapter.  
One song  
**The other song 

**Somehow I know **  
**I´ll make it, I´ll fight  
Somehow I know  
It´s gonna be all right. **

I don´t miss your dirty clothes on the floor  
No one leaves the lights on anymore  
You don´t have to wake me with a kiss every day  
I´m tired of roses anyway

**Somehow I know  
I´ll make it, I´ll fight  
Somehow I know  
it´s gonna be all right**

I´m not that fragile  
I´m not gonna break  
Love´s so over- rated

So don´t you worry about me  
Go on enjoy being free

**It wasn´t real  
Not meant to be  
Another dream  
That left a broken heart**

**It felt so real  
Turned out to be  
Just a mirage  
mirage  
mirage **

"That was great girls, now what do the judges say." The boys and Mr. Schue gave us a round of applause, Mr. Schue turned around towards Ms. Pillsbury and Coach Beiste who were the judges for the mash- up competition.

"Well, I thought it was great work with the mash- up," Ms. Pillsbury said. "It was great singing, and great dancing." She looked to Coach Beiste who continued.

"I can´t do anything but agree with Emma, you did a great work girls, and… by the way? Who´s the heartbroken?" I pointed to Teeghan, and in fact, we all did. She did not look happy.

"So, boys, your turn then." Mr. Schue clapped his hands together, we girls sat down, and then the boys started.

**Hurricane  
Hurricane  
(Hey, hey)  
Hurricane  
(Hey, hey)  
Hurricane**

**She´s like a bomb  
that is about to explode  
Out on the floor  
I know it´s dangerous  
but I can´t let it go  
See my mind goes on a trip  
any vision of her lips  
(oh my) **

**And she´s a star  
Yeah she´s more glamorous than  
a fashion show  
miss international knows how to strike a pose**

**And now my heart is skipping beat  
´Cause this shorty´s looking mean  
Tonight **

**That´s when I step up to her asking  
can I have this last dance  
With ya  
with ya  
with ya **

´Cause we gon´ rock this club  
We gon´ go all night  
We gon´ light it up  
Like it´s dynamite 

**We can sweep the floors like a  
We can sweep the floors like a  
Yeah  
We can sweep the floors like a  
like a **

´Cause we gon´ rock this club  
We gon´ go all night  
We gon´ light it up  
Like it´s dynamite

`Cause I´ve told you once  
Now I´ve told you twice  
We gon´ light it up  
Like it´s dynamite 

**We can sweep the floors like a  
Hurricane**

"Great boys… oh what an energy!" Mr. Schue and we girls put our hands together for the boys, and a pretty cool mash- up. The boys, sweaty from the dancing sat down and looked to the table where ms. Pillsbury and coach Beiste sat.

"Well," Ms. Pillsbury began, "Like Will said, you guys had a great energy… and, can you show the thing you did while singing the word "bomb" again."

"Yes, I can do that," Liam walked onto the floor, Aiden and Jasper followed, and stood on each side of Liam, on the word "bomb." Liam snitched and pressed his hands out. At the same time, Aiden and Jasper took each jump to the sides, as if Liam had pushed them (Which he hadn´t)

"Yeah, that part was pretty cool," coach Beiste continued. "And I think you did a great job."

"So, we´ll talk a bit about this, us three, and I´ll tell you if the girls or the boys are the winners on Thursday, thanks for today." Mr. Schue said. I stood up, and while chattering with Hayley we walked out of the choir room.

"How´s your day by the way?" I asked when we had gotten out of the school- building.

"I guess…. I guess he´s doing all right… if you think about the circumstances."

"Okay."

"Hey girls," Tyler came running, but slowed down when he was next to me. "What are you doing?"

"Nothing really." I answered. "I´m going home to cross another thing of my when- I- get- away- from- my- dad- list."

"Hi girls… and Ty Connor came running to. "Hey Lex, I heard Burt Hummel won a few quid on a lottery this weekend."

"Not really a few, he bought a scratch and won a hundred thousand dollars."

"A HUNDRED THOUSAND DOLLARS," Came from Tyler, Connor and Hayley all at the same time.

"Yep, and apart from paying of a few depts. I have no idea what he´s going to do with it."

"What do you wish for him to do with it?"

"I don´t know," I said. "I´m going this way now, bye." I turned left, while the others continued to walk right ahead.

"Hi," I said when I came indoors, because I knew that Carole was home.

"Hi Lex. Had a good day?"

"Yep, but I think the boys are gonna win the competition, because they made an awesome song."

"I guess you had a pretty good one too." Carole said. I smiled, and then walked upstairs to my room.

**I don´t wanna stop there, but I kind of have to. **

**Here´s the links. Youtube. **

**Hurricane/Dynamite  
watch?v=dC5diqAIrJ4**

**Why am I crying/ Mirage  
watch?v=TaBcYD1Frb0 '**

**And, I´m so close to pass 100 reviews on this, so… please review **


	46. Photos

**If you checked out the videos I linked to in the last chap… what did you think about the mash- ups?  
Yay, I´ve passed 100 reviews. **

"Hey Burt, had a good day?" I ran down the stairs to the living room, Burt had just arrived home, and in my hand I held the list, and a pen.

"Yeah sure. Which number on the list Is it time to cross now?"

"Number seven." I sat down in the sofa and laid the list on the table. "Have a boyfriend…. And I´m crossing it… right now." I crossed number seven. "Only six things left, next stop, sing and play the violin on a stage."

"I´m sure you could arrange with Mr. Schue so we can fix that when it´s time for sectionals."

"Yes, maybe." I said.

"Have Mr. Schue told you when it´s time for sectionals by the way?"

"Ehrm, no, but I think it´s gonna be held on McKinley. Are you coming to see it?"

"Of course we are, and before the boys went to the airport on Monday, they talked about going on early Christmas holidays, to come and see it."

"But they need to stay at the school for once, don´t they, I mean, they´ve already taken holidays once to come to my birthday."

"So I told them, but they said they would talk to their teachers anyway, they would call me when they know if they can come or not." I nodded.

"How did the competition work out by the way?" Burt asked.

"It went all right! Though I think the boys song were better than ours."

**Later, the same (Thursday) afternoon.**

I searched through all the piles of papers I had laying on the desk and the bedside table. I lifted them up, and out fell the envelope I had found in my dad´s mattress when we were at my old house. I fingered with it, than I took just that, and went downstairs. I took the pictures, one at the time from the envelope, I didn´t look at the pic, I just laid tem with the back of the photos up on the kitchen table. After all there were seven. I gripped the back of the chair I was leaning against, and…

"What are you doing?" Burt and Carole came walking from the living room door.

"I´m trying to find the courage to look at these photos. I found them in an envelope I found in dad´s mattress when we were searching through the house." I reached my hand through the first photo, and slowly turned it so I could see the picture. "That´s my dad and uncle, in their teens I guess."

"Aah, the happy eighties." Burt lifted the picture and took a close look.

"I guess."

"Looks like that if you look at the clothes and hair, and eighties should be the time when those two were in their elder teens or younger twenties huh?" I counted at my fingers.

"Yep, though I can´t be sure which age they´re at this photo, my dad never showed me any photos." I laid the photo of dad and uncle to the side, then I turned the next photo.

"This has gotta be an old photo" I said. "I think it´s at dad and uncle Wyatt when they were like, five and seven years old... And no one knew what they were growing up to be." I laid the photo to the side. And turned the next one.

"Mum´s and dad´s wedding." I said.

"So they were married."

"In fact, they still are, because as I know they never got a divorce, she just left." I shook my head a little, trying to shake the thoughts of me, and laid the picture to the side. The next two pictures were also from the wedding, the pic after that was the first photo that really caught my attention. It was a picture from , when mum had been pregnant. She laid down in the sofa, and dad had his head at her big stomach, it seemed like he was trying to hear heartbeats, or feel kicking. He had his face towards mum´s face, and they smiled at each other.

"Look at dad´s face," I said and pointed. "he had side- effects by trouble with alcohol already then." I checked the date at the back. "And this was taken before I was born, DAMN, he lied to me. He said it was because of me he started drinking… and I was stupid enough to believe him."

"Lex, when parents have such problems, it´s never, believe my words, NEVER, because of the children. Your dad have no one then himself to blame for what happened." I nodded.

"Guess I didn´t know that when I lived with him."

"Guess you didn´t." I sighed, and turned around another photo, when I looked at this, I didn´t know if I would laugh or cry, so I decided to just smile. It was the only photo I had ever seen from when I was younger than the school- age. On the picture, I was two years old, and held new- born Maddie in my arms, one year old Zeb sat next to me, and leaned over Maddie, in fact, we were both looking at her, and smiling, smiling really big. I showed it to Burt and Carole.

"Me, Zeb and Maddie," I said. "Only photo I´ve ever seen with all three of us in it." I laid it to the side, not knowing what else to say about it, and slowly turned the last photo. I checked the date and then I laid it down on the table.

"This was shooted on a trip with the school," I said. In October it was, a few of the teachers brought their cameras, and one man, he shooted this. I didn´t get the photo until a couple of months later, when Maddie had already been… killed. I didn´t want any memories of her, I was just… well, grieving I guess. So I left it on the kitchen table when I got home, and then I changed my mind, but when I came downstairs again, my dad had picked it up. I haven´t seen it since then…. Until now." I ran one hand through my hair, trying to save some time, so I could figure out what to say more about it.

The picture was shooted of me and Maddie, I had my arm around her shoulders, and my head held by hears, we were both laughing. For a split second I could almost hear the laughter from that day…. Just almost.

**My lesson starts in two minutes, so I´ll have to stop there, but hope you like it. Preview for the next few chapters it that ND will start thinking about what songs they´re gonna do for sectionals. **

**Their lesson for the next three weeks (in the story, not reality) and during sectionals is songs that could be sung from Lex to her dad, so if you have any suggestions, just bring it on. **


	47. Suggestions

I lifted all of the photos again, and put them back in the envelope. I was on my way over the living-room floor to go upstairs and put the envelope back on my desk, when there was a knock on the door, and I went to open it.

"Hi Tyler," I said. "Ehrm, come in… I guess."

"No, I just came to give you the money for those comics I sold. I know I should have done it ages ago, but I kind of always forgot about it." He gave me a bunch of folded money. I counted them.

"You got like, eighty seven dollars for those comics" I was amazed. "Thank you." I took five dollars and gave it to them. "You sold them, so at least take these." Tyler shook his head.

"No it´s your money," he said. "… what do you think you´ll use them for by the way?"

"Hmm, maybe I´ll use them for Christmas presents, there was one boy I was gonna buy a present for… some boy… what was his name? Something that began with a T… Tristan…Tucker…"

"…Taylor?"

"Yes, yes, Taylor was his name."

"Oh, must be a really special person that get´s a present from you."

"Yeah, yeah, very special person." I bit my lip not to laugh.

"Well, I promised mum I would baby- sit for James today, so I have to go now. But, bye, see you at school tomorrow."

"Yeah, see you." I closed the door, and walked into the house again.

"Who was it?" Carole asked.

"Tyler, he wanted to give me the money for those comics he sold."

"How much is it?"

"Eighty seven dollars." I said, and put it in my pocket. Then I walked up to my room, to put the photos and the money in a safe place.

Tuesday, glee- club.

"… and the winners are…" Mr. Schue began. "…. The boys."

"YES, Wooh." And other happy shouts came from all of the boys, we girls gave them a round of applause.

"Congratulations boys, you win the honor, but now, over to the next three weeks assignment. But first, time and date for sectionals." Mr. Schue lifted a paper from the piano. "We´ll be competing here at William McKinley, in the auditorium. We´ll be competing against the unitards, and Dalton academy warblers. It will be held, at six p.m. Friday, December the 16:th."

"Wait… what," I looked up.

"December the 16:th…. Is there anything special with that day?"

"No… no, nothing." I lied.

"Okay… well, now go home, tell your parents and friends about this, and I guess you all know what our theme for sectional´s is.

"Yes we know." Teeghan sighed. "Lex´s dad and uncle is coming to watch us, and we´re gonna sing songs that she could be singing to them, they are both drunks, they used to abuse her and her siblings, and they also murdered her sister."

"Yes." Mr. Schue said. "So, that´s it for today everyone. As long as you don´t have any suggestions already know, of course we have one, I made my version of Simple plan´s song perfect, but… maybe we could make a list of the suggestions we´ve got so far." He pulled up a notebook from his bag, and ripped out a paper, and laid it on the piano with a pen, he wrote "suggestions for sectional´s" on the top and then added perfect to it. Then he turned around towards us again.

"I and Liam have got one suggestion, of another simple- plan- song, we could perform it now if that´s okay." Tyler said. Mr. Schue nodded and sat down on one of the chairs, Tyler took the electric guitar, and Liam the drums, and then they started.

Tyler (Liam)

There you go

You're always so right

It's all a big show

It's all about you

You think you know

What everyone needs

You always take time

To criticize me

It seems like everyday

I make mistakes

I just can't get it right

It's like I'm the one

You love to hate

But not today

So shut up, shut up, shut up

Don't wanna hear it

Get out, get out, get out

Get out of my way

Step up, step up, step up

You'll never stop me

Nothing you say today

Is gonna bring me down

There you go

You never ask why

It's all a big lie

Whatever you do

You think you're special

But I know, and I know

And I know, and we know

That you're not

You're always there to point

Out my mistakes

And shove them in my face

It's like I'm the one

You love to hate

But not today

So shut up, shut up, shut up

Don't wanna hear it

Get out, get out, get out

Get out of my way

Step up, step up, step up

You'll never stop me

Nothing you say today

Is gonna bring me down

Is gonna bring me down

Will never bring me down

Don't tell me who I should be

And don't try to tell me what's right for me

Don't tell me what I should do

I don't wanna waste my time

I'll watch you fade away

So shut up, shut up, shut up

Don't wanna hear it

Get out, get out, get out

Get out of my way

Step up, step up, step up

You'll never stop me

Nothing you say today

Is gonna bring me down

Shut up, shut up, shut up

Don't wanna hear it

Get out, get out, get out

Get out of my way

Step up, step up, step up

You'll never stop me

Nothing you say today

Is gonna bring me down

Bring me down

{shut up, shut up, shut up}

Won't bring me down

{shut up, shut up, shut up}

Bring me down

{shut up, shut up, shut up}

Won't bring me down

Shut up, shut up, shut up

Ten minutes later

"So, do you think there might be use for any of the songs we´ve got so far." Tyler asked me when we were on our way home.

"I don´t know… They´re good songs, but… I just do not feel like we´ve found the right songs yet."

"Hmm. Have you got any suggestions yourself?"

"Not yet, but I´m sure I´ll figure something out."

"Bye,"

"Bye." I went towards my house. I knew Carole had had the night shift again, so I sneaked inside the house, in case she would still be asleep. And I almost jumped high, when I heard her voice from the living room.

"It´s all right Lex. You don´t need to be so quiet, I´m awake."

"Okay. Well…" I walked into the living room. "Now I know what´s the time and date for sectional´s. It will be held at my school, at six p.m. December the 16:th. That date sound familiar to you?"

"Not really… should it?" I sighed and sat down in one of the sofas.

"It´s Maddie´s birthday… was, I am gonna be there, sing my heart out, sing to dad and uncle Wyatt, on the day that should have been Maddie´s birthday."

If you have any suggestions for what they could sing at sectionals, I could really need them.


	48. Mean

Now, two weeks before sectionals, we had glee- rehearsal every day, from Monday to Friday. We had also decided that we would come up with ideas songs and write a list the first week, I would decide which three songs we were gonna use on Monday, and then we were gonna spend Tuesday, Wednesday and Thursday rehearsing and deciding what costumes we would wear. Today was Wednesday, and Maria and Liam had just done their version of a third simple plan song, this time they had done "you don't mean anything" When Mr. Schue again asked if someone else had a song to preform, Marcie slowly reached up her hand. Mr Schue showed her to get out on the floor, she took some papers and placed them at the piano, before sitting down on the piano- chair, and then she started playing.

_Four years old with my back to the door  
All I could hear was the family war  
Your selfish hands always expecting more  
Am I your child or just a charity ward?_

_You have a hollowed out heart  
But it's heavy in your chest  
I try so hard to fight it but it's hopeless  
Hopeless, you're hopeless_

_Oh, father, please, father  
I'd love to leave you alone  
But I can't let you go  
Oh, father, please, father  
Put the bottle down  
For the love of a daughter  
Oh_

_It's been five years since we've spoken last  
And you can't take back  
What we never had  
Oh, I can be manipulated  
Only so many times,  
Before even "I love you"  
Starts to sound like a lie_

_You have a hollowed out heart  
But it's heavy in your chest  
I try so hard to fight it but it's hopeless  
Hopeless, you're hopeless_

_Oh, father, please, father  
I'd love to leave you alone  
But I can't let you go  
Oh, father, please, father  
Put the bottle down  
For the love of a daughter_

_Don't you remember I'm your baby girl?  
How could you push me out of your world,  
Lied to your flesh and your blood,  
Put your hands on the ones that you swore you loved?_

_Don't you remember I'm your baby girl?  
How could you throw me right out of your world?  
So young when the pain had begun  
Now forever afraid of being loved_

_Oh, father, please, father  
I'd love to leave you alone  
But I can't let you go  
Oh, father, please, father  
Oh, father, please, father  
Put the bottle down  
For the love of a daughter  
For the love of a daughter_

We gave Marcie a round of applause, when she took her papers, and sat down in the back row as usual. Ethan stood up too, and walked over the floor to get a guitar, then he sat down on a chair, and said.

"I thought this song might work out."

**Ethan, (Ben)**

_You, with your words like knives  
And swords and weapons that you use against me  
You have knocked me off my feet again  
Got me feeling like I'm nothing_

_You, with your voice like nails on a chalkboard  
Calling me out when I'm wounded  
You picking on the weaker man_

_You can take me down with just one single blow  
But you don't know, what you don't know..._

_Someday I'll be living in a big old city  
And all you're ever gonna be is mean  
Someday I'll be big enough so you can't hit me  
And all you're ever gonna be is mean  
Why you gotta be so mean?_

_You, with your switching sides  
And your wildfire lies and your humiliation  
You have pointed out my flaws again  
As if I don't already see them_

_I walk with my head down  
Trying to block you out 'cause I'll never impress you  
I just wanna feel okay again_

_I bet you got pushed around  
Somebody made you cold  
But the cycle ends right now  
'Cause you can't lead me down that road  
And you don't know, what you don't know..._

_Someday I'll be living in a big old city  
And all you're ever gonna be is mean  
Someday I'll be big enough so you can't hit me  
And all you're ever gonna be is mean  
Why you gotta be so mean?_

_And I can see you years from now in a bar  
Talking over a football game  
With that same big loud opinion  
But nobody's listening  
Washed up and ranting about the same old bitter things  
Drunk and grumbling on about how I can't sing  
But all you are is mean_

_All you are is mean  
And a liar, and pathetic, and alone in life  
And mean, and mean, and mean, and mean_

_But someday I'll be living in a big old city  
And all you're ever gonna be is mean, yeah  
Someday I'll be big enough so you can't hit me  
And all you're ever gonna be is mean  
Why you gotta be so?.._

_Someday I'll be living in a big old city (Why you gotta be so?..)  
And all you're ever gonna be is mean (Why you gotta be so?..)  
Someday I'll be big enough so you can't hit me (Why you gotta be so?..)  
And all you're ever gonna be is mean  
Why you gotta be so mean?_

We gave Ethan too a round of applause, and he wrote the title of the song on the list, before he came and sat down in the front row.

"So, have anyone else got a song?" Mr. Schue asked. Nobody said a word. "So, then I´ll see you tomorrow."

I stood up and walked out in the corridor, where I met someone I recognized.

"Burt and Carole? What are you doing here?"

"We were going out to grab some dinner," Burt said. "Ehrm, I guess, we could just talk some memories with Mr. Schue while you get your stuff."

"Yeah," I said. "Yes of course," I walked past them, and I heard them starting to talk to Mr. Schue, while I walked towards my locker.

"So Lex," Tyler began. "Which song is the best so far?"

"Ehrm, mean I think. The other ones have been good too, but they just don´t feel right."

"Okay. So, see you tomorrow,"

"Bye." I walked into the choir room, where Burt, Carole and Mr. Schue were talking really quietly about something, like they had some secret to me. I shrugged, and when Burt told me to wait outside, I did as I was told.

**Monday afternoon**

I was all alone in the choir room, I sat on the piano chair, with the song- suggestions- list in front of me. The song, now looked like this.

_Perfect- Simple plan  
__Shut Up- Simple plan__  
You don´t mean anything- Simple plan  
__For the love of a daughter- Demi Lovato  
__Mean- Taylor Swift  
Shake it out- Florence and the machine  
Skyscraper- Demi Lovato  
Part of me- Taylor Swift_

"You okay?" I heard Mr. Schue´s voice behind me, I turned around.

"Yeah, fine." I turned towards the paper again, Mr. Schue took a few steps, and now stood right behind me to look at the list.

"So, not Shut up, and not for the love of a daughter, but it looks like, you´re having some trouble choosing with the rest of the songs."

"Yeah a bit." I drew a line over "you don´t mean anything as well."

"I´m sure it´ll be fine whatever you choose. You need a ride home?"

"No, I think I´m gonna stay here for yet a while."

"Okay, see you tomorrow."

"See you."

**Friday, sectionals**

I took a deep breath, and grabbed the curtain for the door, in the back of the auditorium, where I would go through. The unitards and the warblers had already preformed their songs, and this was the last few moments before I was gonna walk through the door and sing my heart out.

I could feel my heart pounding in my chest, I´d told Mr. Schue to get a place for my dad near the stage, and the aisle, and I could now hear him as he grabbed the microphone, and started talking.

"Hi," he said. "It´s now time for the New Directions, and… earlier this year, I managed to find out that one of my students was being abused at home," I could hear the audience gasp. "She´s now living in a foster- home, but her dad and uncle, is here today to watch this, and the songs were doing have been chosen by this girl, as the songs she would like to sing to them. So, I would ask you to really listen to these lyrics… ladies and gentlemen. The new directions." I heard the audience put their hands together for him, and I knew he now sat down in the front row, on the opposite side of the aisle from my dad, but not more than less two meters away from him. I grabbed the curtain even harder, and then pulled it to the side, as I stepped through it and started singing…

**To be continued**


	49. Sectionals

**Fifteen minutes earlier, behind the stage**

"They´re here," I said and walked out in the room behind the stage. "I can´t do this, I can´t, I just can´t."

"Lex," Mr. Schue began.

"I can´t, I can´t," I sat down. "There´s no way I´m gonna walk out on that stage and sing to them…"

"Lex," Mr. Schue said again.

"I can´t."

"ALEXANDRIA RALSTON" Mr. Schue shouted, and I looked up. "Listen to me. You can do this, I know you can."

"No I can´t."

"Come with me," Mr. Schue said, and he took my arm and pulled me out on the outcasts on the stage, where we could see the audience, though they couldn´t see us.

"Can you see who´s sitting over there?" he pointed to the middle of the audiences, I nodded, Burt and Carole, and smiled slightly.

"They love you," Mr. Schue turned around to look me in the eyes. "And even if your dad and uncle doesn´t, love is so much stronger than hate." He clapped my shoulder. "Besides, do you really want to give your dad and uncle that satisfaction with you being too afraid to go out on that stage and sing your heart out?"

"No."

"Exactly. Now go change."

"And there´s no way we can lose," we heard Tyler´s voice behind us. "We´re the only team with a mascot." He was holding a small hutch I had bought this week, to carry Ned in when I needed to carry him somewhere. I smiled.

"Yeah, yeah of course," I took Ned´s hutch, and walked over with it to the choir room, when my phone beeped, I got it out of my pocket and checked the text- message.

_Good luck from New York, loads of love from Kurt, Blaine, Finn and Rebeccah._

I smiled.

"Who was that from?" Tyler had sneaked up behind me.

"It´s Finn, Kurt, Blaine and Rebeccah wishing good luck." I put my phone back in my pocket.

"Who´s Rebeccah?"

"Finn´s girlfriend." I put Ned´s hutch on the piano, then I took the clothes I was gonna wear.

It had been Marcie´s idea, that we were all gonna use like clothes, both girls and boys, it was because, it doesn´t matter where we come from, or who we are, we´re still all the same, so now we were all dressing in black jeans, white button- up shirts, long sleeved, but we were all rolling up the sleeves to the elbows, and black converse. I changed the clothes in the bathroom, then I looked at myself in the mirror.

"I can do it." I said to myself. "I can do it." I took a deep breath, and walked out of the bathroom. I could hear the unitards starting to sing on their song, later it was the warblers, and then it would be our turn. I walked around the auditorium, and to the curtain in the back of it, where I would go through the door, and start singing in just a couple of minutes.

One minute

I could hear Mr. Schue start talking,

Ten seconds

The audience gave Mr. Schue a round of applause

Two seconds

I took a deep breath, then I grabbed the curtain

It´s time

(Lex)  
Days like this I want to drive away (I took a step out in the stairs)  
Pack my bags and watch your shadow fade  
You chewed me up and spit me out  
Like I was poison in your mouth  
You took my light, you drained me down  
That was then and this is now  
Now look at me

(All the others)**  
**This is the part of me  
that you're never gonna ever take away from me, no  
This is the part of me  
that you're never gonna ever take away from me, no  
Throw your sticks and stones  
Throw your bombs and your blows  
But you're not gonna break my soul  
This is the part of me that you're never gonna ever take away from me, no

(I was now down at the stage, where I sat down, only about a meter from dad and Wyatt)

(Hayley and Lex)_  
_I just wanna throw my phone away  
Find out who is really there for me  
You ripped me off,  
your love was cheap  
Was always tearing at the seams  
I fell deep and you let me drown  
But that was then and this is now_  
_Now look at me

(The rest of ND)**  
This is the part of me  
that you're never gonna ever take away from me, no  
This is the part of me  
that you're never gonna ever take away from me, no  
Throw your sticks and stones  
Throw your bombs and your blows  
But you're not gonna break my soul  
This is the part of me  
that you're never gonna ever take away from me, no**

(I jumped up on my feet)

(Lex)  
Now look at me, I'm sparkling  
A firework, a dancing flame  
You won't ever put me out again  
I'm glowing,  
oh woah oh  
(Marcie)  
_So you can keep the diamond ring  
I never liked them anyway  
In fact you can keep everything  
Yeah, yeah Except for me_

_(_I started dancing with the others.)

(Everybody)  
This is the part of me  
that you're never gonna ever take away from me, no  
This is the part of me  
that you're never gonna ever take away from me, no  
(away from me)  
Throw your sticks and stones  
Throw your bombs and your blows  
But you're not gonna break my soul  
This is the part of me  
that you're never gonna ever take away from me, no

This is the part of me, no,  
(away from me)  
This is the part of me, me, me, me, me, me, no  
Throw your sticks and stones  
Throw your bombs and your blows  
But you're not gonna break my soul  
This is the part of me that you're never gonna ever take away from me no

"Ladies and gentlemen," I said in the microphone. "We´re the new directions. And the next song we´re gonna preform is Mean by Taylor Swift." Tyler and Ethan had grabbed each acoustic guitar, and they started playing

(Ethan **Ben)**  
You, with your words like knives  
And swords and weapons that you use against me  
**You have knocked me off my feet again  
Got me feeling like I'm nothing**  
You, with your voice like nails on a chalkboard  
Calling me out when I'm wounded  
**You picking on the weaker man**

(Connor)  
You can take me down with just one single blow  
But you don't know, what you don't know...

(**Ethan**, Ben, Connor, Tyler Everbody)  
Someday I'll be living in a big old city  
And all you're ever gonna be is mean  
Someday I'll be big enough so you can't hit me  
And all you're ever gonna be is mean  
**Why you gotta be so mean?**

(Jasper, **Aiden**)  
You, with your switching sides  
And your wildfire lies and your humiliation  
**You have pointed out my flaws again  
As if I don't already see them**  
I walk with my head down  
Trying to block you out 'cause I'll never impress you  
**I just wanna feel okay again**

(Liam, **Johnny**)  
I bet you got pushed around  
Somebody made you cold  
**But the cycle ends right now  
'Cause you can't lead me down that road  
**And you don't know, what you don't know...

(Jasper, Aiden, Johnny, **Liam,** Everybody)  
Someday I'll be living in a big old city  
And all you're ever gonna be is mean  
Someday I'll be big enough so you can't hit me  
And all you're ever gonna be is mean  
**Why you gotta be so mean?**

(Connor, **Tyler, **Both)   
And I can see you years from now in a bar  
Talking over a football game  
**With that same big loud opinion  
**But nobody's listening  
**Washed up and ranting about** the same old bitter things

(Lex)  
Drunk and grumbling on about how I can't sing  
But all you are is mean

(Tyler, **Lex** Both)  
All you are is mean  
**And a liar, and pathetic, and alone in life**  
And mean, and mean, and mean, and mean

(Boys )  
But someday I'll be living in a big old city  
And all you're ever gonna be is mean, yeah  
Someday I'll be big enough so you can't hit me  
And all you're ever gonna be is mean  
Why you gotta be so?..

(Boys, **Girls **Everybody)  
Someday I'll be living in a big old city **(Why you gotta be so?..)**  
And all you're ever gonna be is mean **(Why you gotta be so?..)**  
Someday I'll be big enough so you can't hit me **(Why you gotta be so?..)**  
And all you're ever gonna be is mean  
Why you gotta be so mean?

"So, now it´s time for our final song," Tyler said in the microphone. "It´s skyscraper, by Demi Lovato, enjoy" The music started playing and…

(Teeghan, **Alice)**  
Skies are crying, I am watching  
Catching tear drops in my hands  
Only silence as it's ending  
Like we never had a chance  
**Do you have to make me feel like  
There's nothing left of me?**

(Mariah)  
You can take everything I have  
You can break everything I am  
Like I'm made of glass  
Like I'm made of paper  
Go on and try to tear me down  
I will be rising from the ground  
Like a skyscraper  
Like a skyscraper

(Hayley, **Marcie)**  
As the smoke clears, I awaken  
And untangle you from me  
**Would it make you feel better  
To watch me while I bleed?**  
All my windows still are broken  
But I'm standing on my feet

(Amy, **Anna)**  
You can take everything I have  
You can break everything I am  
Like I'm made of glass  
Like I'm made of paper  
**Go on and try to tear me down  
I will be rising from the ground  
**Like a skyscraper  
Like a skyscraper

(Lex)  
Go run, run, run  
I'm gonna stay right here,  
Watch you disappear  
Yeah, oh  
Go run, run, run  
Yeah, it's a long way down  
But I am closer to the clouds up here

(Lex)  
You can take everything I have  
You can break everything I am  
Like I'm made of glass  
Like I'm made of paper  
Oh Oh  
Go on and try to tear me down  
I will be rising from the ground  
Like a skyscraper  
Like a skyscraper  
(Like a skyscraper)  
Like a skyscraper  
Like a skyscraper

The audience gave us a third round of applause, I was on my way to follow the others in the glee club back in the corridors, when Mr. Schue came out on the stage, with my violin in his hands, he gave it to me, I looked questioning on him, but he just showed me to get back to the middle of the stage, I did as he showed me, and he took a microphone, and gave me one of those microphones that you pull over your head. I took it, and turned it on.

"So, that was New Direction´s three songs." Mr. Schue began. "And now, I would like to say a few things. But… I believe, that Lex here could say them better, if you just turn around Lex." I did as he said, and waited a few seconds, and then… a big picture turned up on the curtain on the back of the stage, and this, was exactly the same picture that I had found of me and Maddie, a couple of weeks ago.

"Hi, my name is Lex Ralston. I survived getting…" I swallowed. "… getting abused… but my sister Maddie did not. And that´s the last picture that was shooted on me and her…. Maddie died just before her eighth birthday, but if… if she hadn´t… today, would have been the day she turned fourteen." I swallowed again, trying to save some time, as I didn´t know what more to say. Mr. Schue took the microphone to his mouth once again, and continued.

"When this is finished today, there´s gonna be teachers from this school, standing in the corridors, and by the doors, with money boxes, and all the revenues we get in those, will be counted, and then it will go to the fund that helps the police and social services, to give children that´s being abused at home, a better life. But, in honor of Maddie, and all those who have not survived. I turn to you Lex, and ask you if you can play the song, I know you know which one." I nodded, and lifted the violin.

_Hey there now  
Where'd you go  
You left me here so unexpected  
You changed my life  
I hope you know  
cause now I'm lost  
So unprotected_

_In a blink of an eye  
I never got to say goodbye_

_Like a shooting star  
Flyin' across the room  
So fast so far  
You were gone too soon  
You're part of me  
And I'll never be  
The same here without you  
You were gone too soon_

I lowered the violin when my voice broke, I was almost crying now, and I looked down to the floor, when I heard Tyler´s voice continuing to sing on the song, and slowly I started singing along.

_You were always there  
and like shining light  
on my darkest days  
you were there to guide me_

_Oh I miss you now  
I wish you could see  
Just how much your memory  
Will always mean to me  
In a blink of an eye  
I never got to say goodbye_

_Like a shooting star  
Flyin' across the room  
So fast so far  
You were gone too soon  
You're part of me  
And I'll never be  
The same here without you  
You were gone too soon_

_Shine on! Shine on!  
To a better place  
Shine on! Shine on!  
Will never be the same_

_Like a shooting star  
Flyin' across the room  
So fast so far  
You were gone too soon  
You're part of me  
And I'll never be  
The same here without you  
You were gone too soon_

_Shine on! Shine on!  
You were gone too soon  
Shine on! Shine on!  
You were gone too soon  
Shine on! Shine on!  
You were gone too soon_

I lowered the violin again. And then the audience started clapping, one after one they stood up and clapped their hands, all along, there were only two people not clapping, and they sat in the front row. And when I saw the looks on their faces, I couldn´t help but start to giggle. Tyler looked back at me. And then it was time for the other two show- choirs and the judges to come back on the stage. A man from the judges took the microphone, and the auditorium went all quiet.

"First of all" the man said. "Well done to all of the glee- clubs here today… This was a hard choice, but we have come to a decision, and we have decided that the ones on third place is…" I grabbed the shoulders on Hayley´s and Tyler´s shirts hard, and bit my lip…

"…The unitards." We put our hands together when the unitards walked of the stage.

"And on first place... the ones that´s going through to regionals of western Ohio is…"

**This is the longest Chapter I´ve ever published on fanfiction, with 2 550 words. Go me.  
The songs are Part of me, by Katy Perry, Mean by Taylor Swift, Skyscraper by Demi Lovato and Gone too soon by Simple plan. **

**To be continued **


	50. From the bottom of my heart

**Well, about the new picture on this… I found it on imdb, and it´s a picture of Natasha Calis… the funny thing is… that´s exactly how I imagined Lex. **

"And on first place... the ones that´s going through to regionals of western Ohio is… Ladies and gentlemen… THE NEEEEEEW DIRECTIONS"

"Yes, woooo" and other happy shouts came from everywhere, and suddenly, Mr. Schue took the microphone. He took a breath, and then he said.

"I think the one holding this trophy, it should be the one that did is not only one of the winners here, but the winner of this whole year." I didn´t quite know who he was talking, until he laid the microphone on the floor and gave me the trophy. I first looked at it, than to Mr. Schue, then to the trophy , then to Mr. Schue again. And I did not quite know what to say, or how to react. Then I could feel Liam and Tyler sneaking up behind me, and they lifted me up to sit on their shoulders, and then I reacted. I stretched the trophy as I as I could in the air, even though it was heavy.

"Yaaaay." I shouted. "Whey… Let me down now, I need to say something." Tyler and Liam let me down to the floor, I reached the trophy to Hayley, and then I ran forward to grab a microphone.

"So… hi." I said in it, and the audience went silent again. "If you don´t remember, my name is Lex Ralston… and I am… I am the girl who got abused at home until the beginning of this year. And well, there are some people I´d want to say thank you to. First of all, thank you to all my wonderful friends in new directions, I couldn´t have done this without you… second, I would like you to say thank you to my sister Maddie, even though… well you know… she made me who I am today. Third, to someone else who´s in New your right now… Finn, Kurt and Blaine, the best older brothers I could have ever asked for... Started to get tired of this now? Well… I've got three more, fourth, to Burt and Carole Hummel- Hudson, they´re sitting up there," I pointed. "I could never put in words how much I love you guys, and how much I appreciate what you´re doing… and fifth and last. The biggest thank you today I would like to say to Mr. William Schuester. For not believing in me… when I said that I had fallen in the stairs. And for giving me a home, when there was no other place for me. From the bottom of my heart thank you…. And just one thing more… if you´re getting abused at home, or if you suspect that a child, or an adult, are getting abused. Please, call the police, or the social services… today, because tomorrow… it might be too late." I put the microphone down on the front of the stage, and during the round of applause from the audience, I walked out in the corridors, and to the choir room. Where I pulled my hoodie on over the button- up.

"My girl… is the bravest girl in the whole world," Burt, Carole and Mr. Schue came into the choir room, Burt lifted me up and span around. I laughed.

"I… I don´t know… I wasn´t really thinking… I was just… doing."

"I swear you made big parts of the audience cry. Carole said. "You got me." I smiled, and gave her a hug. Then I turned to Mr. Schue, I smiled, and then gave him a big hug.

"Thank you," I whispered.

"You´re very welcome." He let go of me. "Lex, you and I are going to do something, I want you, to look me in the eyes, and pretend that I´m your father, and then I want you to say to me, what you´d like to say to him, as if I was him." I nodded.

"Dad…" I began. "I don´t think you could ever understand how much I hate you. I hate you for what you did to Zeb… for what you did to mum… for what you did to me… but most of all… I hate you for what you did to Maddie. Does it feel good that you´ve murdered your own child, when you think about it are you proud? Does it keep you awake… just like it does to me? I hope it does, I hope you never get over it… because I hate you, I hate you, I hate you, I hate, and you aren´t my dad anymore, a dad don´t treat his child like you treated me, you´re just Brian Ralston… nothing else."

"Ehrm… Lex," Mr. Schue lifted his hands and pointed.

"He´s standing right behind me is he?"

"Aha," Mr. Schue nodded slightly, and slowly I turned around, to face the two men, I hated more than anything else.

**I know it´s short… I "Yawn." Need to stop there.  
The 50:th chapter  
**


	51. The talk

**So, what do you think of the look of Lex? If you check my profile, then I´ve uploaded the link to the picture of "Lex" and there´s only a photo of David Clayton Rogers, that look like a character from another one of my stories, and I´ve got them saved in my computer, and I could just keep on looking at them forever.**

I kept on staring into his eyes for I don´t know how long. He took a step forward, I did not move.

Neither Brian or Wyatt had handcuffs or anything, but there were to securities, by each of the doors to the choir room. Ready to act if any of the two men would try to hurt me. The glee- boys had also made a half- circle around and behind Brian and Wyatt. I also had Burt, Mr. Schue and Carole behind me. Neither Brian or Wyatt would be able to hurt me, or even trying, without getting fourteen men and teenage boys to push away. I wasn´t afraid, not at all.

"I found the photos you hid in the mattress," I said. "Do you know one thing? One of the photos showed that you had some side- effects from drinking, and you know what? It was shooted before I was born. You always said it was because of me you started drinking, but I guess you´ll have to admit… your lies did not hold all the way through," I took a step forward, my face was now just about a decimeter away from his. His eyes were black, his face red, out of anger, but I didn´t feel scared.

"I don´t regret anything."

"Says more about you than it does about me." After I said that, dad spat in my face. But I still did not move a muscle.

"Wow, now we´re being mature aren´t we," I said with an ironic tone in my voice. Then I wiped away the spit with the sleeve of my hoodie. I looked up, and walked over to the piano, where I lifted up Ned´s hutch. I walked over to the others with it, and let Marcie hold it.

"Brian, this is the New Directions, and that´s our mascot, his name´s Ned, and he´s mine. That´s my boyfriend, his name´s Tyler. Those two are my best friends," I nodded. "Their names are Hayley and Connor…. That´s Mr. Schuester, and if you don´t remember, he´s the one who found out about you abusing me. I love him too."

"I didn´t…"

"YES, you did. Those two are Burt and Carole, and during the two months I´ve lived at theirs, they´ve been more parents to me, than you or mum ever were." I was now back at standing in front of Mr. Schue, Burt and Carole. When Brian suddenly took a step forward, anger and hatred were burning in his eyes, and he lifted his hands, and took a jump forward.

"Oh no you don´t," both Burt and Mr. Schue jumped past me and pressed Brian backwards, also both Tyler and Liam had grabbed his shirt from the back, and was pulling backwards. Even though Brian struggled, there was no way he was stronger than the four who was pulling and pressing him away from me.

"You just don´t understand do you?" Wyatt said, and walked past Brian and the others, trying to hold him away from me. Though when Wyatt spoke up, he relaxed a bit.

"You think everything is about you, don´t you?" He said.

"No," I said. "The only ones in this room, who thinks everything´s about themselves, that´s you… and that´s him." I pointed to Brian. "You know what… why did you try to kill Maddie and me? You never cared about us anyway, I was the one taking care of both her and myself…"

"We had our own problems."

"I was TEN."

"Come on," the four securities from the prison came and put handcuffs on both Brian and Wyatt. "Time to go now." One of them said. I took step to the right, where I could look both Brian and Wyatt in the faces.

"You know, so many of my tears have been wasted on you two, but not a single one more will be… because you know what? You don´t deserve it, you don´t deserve my tears, and you don´t deserve me." This was my last words to them. Before they were forced to turn around and walked out of the room. I put my hands in my pockets and for multiple seconds I just stood there, and looked to the door where they had disappeared. Until I heard Carole speak.

"Mr. Schue, you´re bleeding." She said. I turned around. Mr. Schue had his hand to his eyebrow, but it was clear that he actually was bleeding.

"I´ll be fine." He said. Carole pulled a tissue from her pocket and gave it to him.

"Just keep the pressure on it." She said. "Mr. Schue nodded, and did as he was told.

"I´m so sorry." I said. Mr. Schue shook his head slightly.

"It´s not your fault." Carole opened her bag and pulled out something.

"Here´s your photo. We lend it so we could put it on the back of the stage like that." She gave it to me. "We´ve got your list as well, because, we think you can cross number six now." I nodded, and took the list and the pen she gave me. I walked over to the piano, and laid the list on it.

"I´m crossing number seven… now." I said and crossed it…. "Four done, Six to go then." I smiled, folded the paper and put it in my back- pocket. The others cheered, I took my jacket and the violin- case, Burt took Ned´s hutch from Marcie and then we walked out of the choir room, and towards the doors.

**Monday**

"What have you done this weekend then?" Tyler asked when we were on our way to the choir room on Monday.

"I started fixing some Christmas- presents, "Hi Alice," Alice turned around when I said hi, I stopped because she had tears in her eyes, and her cheeks were red and swollen."

"Al, is everything all right?" I asked. She shook her head.

"Josh is gone. Mum took him for some Christmas shopping this Saturday, and he got kidnapped."

"Oh, I´m so sorry." I said

"I just hope he´s okay."

"Is there…. Anything we could do for you?" Tyler asked.

"Mum asked me to put up these over town after school," she took a bunch of papers from her locker. It had a picture of a boy, about five or six years old, I hadn´t seen him before, but it was clear that it was Alice´s brother, because he had the same, roundish face, brown eyes, and middle- brown hair as her.

"We´ll fix that," Tyler said.

"Don´t worry," I said. "I´m sure he´ll be okay."

"I hope so." Alice said.

"So," Mr. Schue walked into the choir room, right after me, Tyler and Alice. "On Friday, we´re gonna have a Christmas performance in the gym- hall, and we´re gonna choose which song to sing. I´ve already decided that we´re gonna do, I´ll be home for Christmas. And as I´ve told you before, a Lima- celebrity is gonna show up before the performance, and sing with us."

**Later the same day**

"So, I, Tyler, Hayley, Marcie and Ben took each bunch of papers, and we walked around town and put them up." I told Burt and Carole.

"Oh, I really hope Alice´s brother comes home safely." Carole said.

"Who´s that," Burt pointed out the kitchen window. I turned around, to see a girl I recognized, even though it was dark outside.

"Vie?" I said and jumped down from the table and walked to the hallway, just as there was a frenetic knock on the door.

**So, what does Vie want? And will Josh be okay? Hmm, I know! **


	52. Make it right

**I´ve uploaded a link on my profile, with a pic of Oaklee… Oaklee…. Pendergast I think is his name… hmm… sounds German… well, enough, I uploaded the link, because he looked like, and the picture looks like how I imagined the picture of Josh. **

I opened the door, and Vie, soaking wet and sobbing unstoppable, stuttered something, I could barely hear what it was

"Sh-sh-sh-she k-k-k-icked me o-o-out." She sobbed, over and over again. After several attempts to talk to her, I just wrapped my arms around her, let her cry against my shoulder, until she had calmed down. I looked back at Burt and Carole, and nodded to them to wait in the kitchen. I sat there, with Vie crying against my shoulder, for the most parts of an hour. When Vie had calmed down, I let go and leaned back a bit, that´s when I spotted something red on the side of her head.

"Vie you´re bleeding," I checked it. It seemed like a not too deep cut. But I decided to let Carole take a look at it anyway.

"Carole?" I had lifted Vie up, and I now walked through the kitchen door.

"Yes?"

"Vie has a cut on her head, could you take a look at it?"

"Yes of course," I lifted Vie a little bit more, so she sat on the kitchen bench. Carole cleaned the cut, and taped it. Vie did not make a sound.

**Two hours later**

I walked down the stairs, Vie was asleep in Finn´s bed. I tried to breathe slowly, as I was gonna ask Burt and Carole about something that was very important to me.

"How is she?" Burt asked when I came through the door. I nodded slightly, I did not sit down, but I leaned over the back of a chair.

"Look, Burt? Carole? Vie´s mum kicked her out of the house. There is no way Vie can go back there…"

"Lex…" Carole tried, but I didn´t listen, instead I kept on talking.

"And there´s no way I´ll send her back there. I know we should call the social services, like… in the morning, but…"

"Lex," Burt tried too, but I still didn´t listen.

"I mean, it´ll soon be Christmas…"

"Lex," Carole tried, a little louder this time

"Well, can´t she at least stay here until after Christmas."

"Lex" Burt tried he too a little louder.

"Please, I mean, this is my one chance to do it again… my only chance to make something right…"

"LEX" both Burt and Carole shouted at once.

"So what do you think?" I stopped walking back and forth, which I had been doing for the last minute, and looked at them both.

"We´ve kind of been waiting for you to ask." Carole said. "besides, we were thinking quite the same, it would be quite rude to kick her out less than a week before Christmas."

"We were thinking that she could stay here over new year as well, and then we can call social services in the beginning of January." I relaxed, and sat down on a chair.

"But Lex," Carole looked me in the eyes. "She´s not gonna stay here forever… we´re not gonna foster her."

"I know…" I said. "But you´re giving me enough time to make something right." I smiled.

"And this happens…. On a few conditions."

"Anything."

"We can´t baby- sit all the time, tomorrow and Thursday evening at least one of us will be home, so you´ll have those days to fix with Christmas presents," Burt said. I nodded. "And, Kurt and Finn are coming home on Saturday, and after that, you and Vie are sharing your room."

"Yeah, that´ll be fine."

"And also, we were gonna tell you earlier, but because of some renovations on Nyada, Kurt and Blaine will be home until in the middle of February."

"But that'll be fun, won´t it."

"Yes." I looked at my clock, ten o´clock.

"I´m going upstairs,"

"Goodnight,"

"Goodnight." I stopped for a second in the door and turned around when I told them goodnight, Then I sighed slightly, turned around and walked up to my room, as usual, when I was gonna write, I jumped up in the windowsill. I fixed with a pen, opened the diary, and wrote.

_Dear Clara  
Earlier today, Vie came running down the driveway. When I opened the door for he, she was crying and stuttering about that her mum kicking her out.  
When Vie had calmed down, she told me that her mum was angry at her for not doing the dishes.  
Vie is gonna live here, until in January, after Christmas and New year´s eve.  
I know Vie´s not Maddie, I know I´m not ever getting another try, but somehow, I feel like, if I help Vie, it´s giving me the chance to try again, to make something right. Even though it´s not the same person.  
Earlier today, I, Tyler, Marcie and Ben walked around town, putting up fliers for Alice, because her little brother Josh have been kidnapped, I feel really sorry for Alice right now, of course I feel sorry for her parents too, but I know what it´s like to lose a sibling. I hope and pray that Josh will be home safely.  
Lex_

I locked the diary and put it in one of the drawers under my desk. I walked out of my room, and over to Finn´s room, well there, I sneaked across the room, one of Vie´s arms were hanging over the edge of the bed, I lifted it up, and pulled the covers, that she had kicked off herself over her again.

The next morning, I was walking with vie to her school before going towards McKinley.

"I have glee- club today," I told her. "and later, I´m gonna go fix with Christmas- presents. You can´t be home on your own, but you will end school only about half an hour before Burt shift ends, so when you´re done for today, just go to the gas station. You don´t need to be afraid, as I´ve told you before, Burt and Carole are really nice people."

"So they won´t hurt me then?"

"No."

"You promise?"

"Pinkie swear." I hooked my little finger in hers. Then she walked up the driveway to her school, and I turned around to go to mine.


	53. I ll be home for Christmas

**I´m sorry**

"Josh… he can´t pronounce S, he calls me Aliff." Alice said. "He´s so cute when he says that." She looked down to the floor. Tears were slowly rolling down her cheek. I kept quiet, as I didn´t know what to say. What could I say, what could anyone say that could make her feel better. Suddenly Alice turned her head and looked at me.

"When someone told you Maddie hadn´t survived the shot," she began. "What was the first thing you thought?" I shrugged.

"I´m sorry Alice, I don´t remember, I remember nothing from…. I couldn´t remember getting shot until recently, and now, I can´t remember, anything from that , to like two days after… after… well, I guess someone told me. I can remember what they told me… but nothing more." Alice nodded and looked to the floor again.

"I think he´s dead." She said. "It´s like I can feel it."

"Alice," Mariah said and laid her hand at Alice´s. "You cannot lose the hope. Anything, but not hope."

"But it´s been three days."

"Children have come home after being lost for years."

"I know how rare that is."

"But not impossible," Liam said. "Come on Alice, there´s no point with losing hope." In that moment, I almost thought Alice would stand up and beat the crap out of Liam at that moment. By the look on her face. But she just shook her head, and kept still. Right then Mr. Schue came walking into the choir room. He stopped in front of us.

"No news?" he looked at Alice. She shook her head.

"Nothing." Mr. Schue walked over to her, and patted her knee slightly,

"It will be all right." He said. "You´ll see." He backed, and got a bunch of papers from his bag, he started handing them out. And it turned out to be papers with the lyrics to the songs we were gonna sing.

"So," Mr. Schue began. "We´re starting with I´ll be home for Christmas."

_I'm dreamin' tonight of a place I love  
Even more then I usually do  
And although I know it's a long road back  
I promise you_

_I'll be home for Christmas  
You can count on me  
Please have snow and mistletoe  
And presents under the tree…_

"Screw this, I´m leaving." Marcie threw her papers on the floor, turned around and took her backpack.

"Wait… wait what´s wrong." Mr. Schue stopped Marcie, when she was on her way out of the room.

"What´s wrong?" Marcie said, and then she began shouting. "I´LL TELL YOU WHAT´S WRONG. There´s no point with singing this song, because no one ever does come home for Christmas. They promise they will but they never do anyway. And we´re gonna sing this, because someone you know, probably just some one of your boring old students will come home in the first time in like one year." With that, she was done, and she turned around and walked out of the room.

**Mr. Schue pov. **

"Okay guys," I picked up Marcie´s papers from the floor, and laid them in my bag. "We´ll do this song anyway, but glee- club´s over for today." I walked out of the room, and to my office, I was on my way out to the car when I heard someone singing in the audiotourium. I walked out in the stairs to it. Marcie was all alone on the stage, singing the same song I´d once heard Rory Flanagan sing.

_Ill be so blue just thinking about you  
Decorations of red on a green christmas tree  
Won´t be the same dear, if you're not here with me_

_And when those blue snowflakes start falling  
That's when those blue memories start calling_

_You´ll be doing all right, with your christmas of white  
But I'll have a blue, blue, blue, blue christmas_

_You´ ll be doing all right, with your christmas of white,  
But I'll have a blue, blue christmas_

She stopped singing, I had walked down the stairs while she was singing, I now stepped up on the stage, while clapping for a few seconds. Marcie saw me, grabbed her backpack, and started walking of the stage.

"No… don´t go… Marcie wait." Marcie didn´t stop. I half ran after her. She did not look at me, but I started talking to her anyway.

"You… you sang that song beautifully." I said. Marcie still didn´t look at me. I continued.

"Maybe… maybe you would like to sing it as a solo on Friday?" I jumped to the side, while turning, so I got in front of her, and held out my hands so I stopped her, and then finally she stopped.

"No thanks." She tried to press me away so she could keep on walking, but I stopped her.

"Why not?"

"I´m not much for having solos."

"You had one at sectionals,"

"Two lines, and on a song where many have each solo, nobody would have noticed if I messed it all up. And I did it for Lex."

"Then do this for me…. And for your dad." Marcie bit her lip, and sighed.

"…Okay. But if I mess it up, I´ll blame you okay?"

"That´s all right." I chuckled.

"I´m sorry for yelling at you."

"It´s all right, these times a year must be the hardest of the year."

"Yeah, this and my birthday, though there´s only two days in between, so I have it done pretty fast."

"Wait… is your birthday´s on Friday?" Marcie nodded.

"Yup."

"Okay, and Marcie…" she had started walking away from me, but turned around when I said her name.

"Yes?"

"It will be all right."

"I guess." She turned around again, and walked out of the school, I walked after her, to get to the car. I took a deep breath f relief, it had been hard getting through that conversation without telling about my special surprise.

**Friday, before the concert, Lex pov**

"So… where is your secret guest?" I asked Mr. Schue.

"I don´t know," Mr. Schue seemed stressed out, "but I´m sure he´ll be here any minute, you go up and start preforming the first song, I´ll send him up on the stage when he arrives. I and the others nodded, and walked out, to the middle of the floor of the gym hall, all the other students were here today, and Vie sat on a bench, next to my English- teacher Mr. trey. I smiled towards her, and then we started preforming our first song, and the second, and the third, and Marcie´s solo, then it was time for the last song- I´ll be home for Christmas, and the guest still hadn´t arrived yet. But we started anyway

_I'm dreamin' tonight of a place I love  
Even more then I usually do  
And although I know it's a long road back  
I promise you_

_I'll be home for Christmas  
You can count on me  
Please have snow and mistletoeAnd presents under the tree  
Christmas Eve will find me  
Where the love light beams  
I'll be home for Christmas  
If only in my dreams_

_Christmas Eve will find me  
Where the love light beams_

A man I didn´t recognized, walked through the doors, at the same time showed us others to be quiet, while the man sang the last lines, though he sang them a bit wrong.

"I´ll be home for Christmas  
And this time it´s for real  
And this time it´s for real."

Marcie ran across the floor, obviously crying, and she ran to the man I didn´t know who he was and hugged him, he lifted her up, so she hung with around his neck. He held her like that for a while, and then let her down at the floor, and walked over to us in New directions, he took a microphone Mr. Schue reached him, he put it to his mouth, and started talking.

"Well hi," he began. "I´m Sgt. Michael Taylor… you can call me Mike, and Marcie´s my daughter." I had never seen a soldier cry before. But now Mike seemed to be very close to tears, and he cleared his throat.

"We haven´t met since in October last year. Marcie… did not know I was coming today, she thought I wasn´t coming home until in the middle of January. Today´s Marcie´s birthday… and I think we´re all gonna sing to her" It was clear that Marcie protested, but it didn´t help and everyone in the hall started singing.

"Happy birthday to you  
Happy birthday to you  
Happy birthday dear Marcie  
Happy birthday to you"

Marcie had blushed, and she hid her face in Mike´s jacket.  
All the people in the hall clapped their hands for Mike, then the whole glee club, including Vie and Mike walked back to the choir room.

"Dad?" Marcie began when we were on our way.

"Yes."

"How long will you stay?"

"Until the middle of February…. But I´ll only stay for four months, and then I´ll resign. But don´t think about that now."

"Okay… dad?"

"Yes."

"I love you."

"Love you too"

**So, I think the next chapter is gonna be the Christmas chapter. It may take a while, because I´ll have to figure out about twenty five Christmas presents. **

**Preview**

"**Just one big happy family." **

**And I´m sorry, I had actually planned to do loads of writing this weekend, but I got a temperature about Friday afternoon, and on Saturday I was so tired I couldn´t sit up for more then like ten minutes at the time. I´m fine now then, going back to school tomorrow. **


	54. Christmas

On Saturday morning, Carole and Burt drove to the airport to pick up Blaine, Kurt and Finn. I told Vie that I was gonna just wrap the Christmas presents I had bought after that we´d been home alone for a while, and then I closed the door and pulled out the presents, two roles of wrap paper, tape, string and stickers to write the names on. Then I sat down on the floor, picked out the stuff I´d bought on the floor, and then I took a paper, and wrote "Don´t come in, I´m wrapping your presents" and hung it on my door.

I had gotten all of the presents on the red cross´ second- hand- store in town, and it was almost amazing how they seemed to have the perfect item for each and every one in my family, and my friends. Hayley ´s biggest interest, except music, was reading, watching TV and in other ways finding out more about extraordinary people. Like, Dave Pelzer, Aron Ralston or J. K. Rowling. For her I´d find a book called "Old before my time" Written by Hayley and Kerry Okines. For Tyler I had bought a T- shirt with the text. "I´ve got the world´s best girlfriend." And for Connor I´d found a CD with music by the fray. For Vie I found a hoodie and a jigsaw puzzle, for Carole a necklace with a clock, and for Burt a coffee cup that looked like a toilet (yes toilet). The boys had been the hardest ones to find presents for, as they were all so different, but then I found three packages of glowing (yes, glowing)) shoelaces. It had been three different colors and I´d decided to give the blue ones to Finn, the green to Blaine, and the red to Kurt.

Those were all the presents I had to wrap, I was on my way to wrap Blaine´s present when I heard the door open and close, and then the sound of voices. I heard the boys coming up the stairs with their suitcases , I heard laughing when they saw the note on my door, and then of them walking down the hall.

**Vie pov**

I had gotten some gift wrapping, tape, string, sticker and a pen from Burt and Carole, and I now sat on the floor in the room I had been sleeping in for the last days, and tried to wrap the present I had made for Carole, for about the hundredth time. When I heard the lock at the door being pressed down, I hurried to hide the presents behind my back in case it was Burt or Carole, but the boy that had opened it was someone I hadn´t seen before. He was tall and muscular, with short spiky dark hair.

"Hi" he said, I put my feet to the ground so I could run fast.

"Finn?" I heard another boys´ voice, and then footsteps of two pair of feat. "Who did you say hi to? Oh… hi." Two other boys came walking and now stood in the door with the first boy.

"Hi…"

"Oh… you must be…" the third boys said.

"Vie?" the second continued. I nodded.

"Well," the second boy said. "I´m Kurt, this is my stepbrother Finn, and this is my boyfriend Blaine. What you doing?" He looked at the mess on the floor, where pieces of Christmas wrapping and tape and string.

"I´m sorry for messing up your room Finn… I´ll clean it when I´m finished with this… really I´m so, so sorry... Please don´t be mad at me. I´ve never wrapped a present before, it was harder than I thought."

"VIE." Finn held up his hands. "It´s all right, I´m not mad at you, of course we´ll help you clean up…. I´m not very good at wrapping presents, but I think I know someone who could help you with that." Finn turned his head and looked to Kurt, who stepped forward and came over to me. He took a piece of the wrapping and started to wrap the kettle- holder for Carole.

"Put some tape here." He said, and I did as I was told.

"Did you make that kettle holder?" Blaine asked. I nodded.

"It… it is not very good… but I guess it´s all right, I wanted to make her something."

"I think she´ll love it. Is this for dad?" Kurt held up a small bag with caramels.

"Yeah, we made those at school, I saved mine so I would have something to give Burt."

"So," I put a piece of tape on Burt´s gift. "Have you got something more?"

"I really wanted to give something to Lex." I mumbled and looked to the floor. "But I could not think of anything."

"Well," Blaine began. "I and Kurt actually bought two presents for Lex." Blaine looked to Kurt, who nodded. "Maybe you would like to say one of them is from you?"

"I…. I can´t pay you back for that, I have no money."

"You don´t have to, I´ll go get it." Blaine stood up and walked out of the room. A few minutes later he came back with something in his hands. When I took it I could see it was a scrapbook.

"We…" Blaine was talking in almost a whisper so Lex wouldn´t hear. "We´ve also bought her a camera. But don´t tell her about that." I pretended to zip my lips together, Kurt helped me to wrap the present for Lex, and then we were done to clean the room. We had just started when Lex came walking with Christmas presents in her hands.

**Lex pov**

"Hi guys." I said. "Ehrm… I´d love to give you each welcome- home- hug, but I´ve got my hands full, I´ll just go put them under the tree." I walked downstairs and laid all the presents under the Christmas tree. Then I walked back upstairs to welcome the boys home.

**Next morning, Christmas day **

"Vie, Vie. Wake up it´s Christmas."

"Mm." Vie groaned.

"Come on sleepyhead, wake up." I shook her, and finally she opened her eyes to me.

"Merry Christmas Vie." I said.

"Merry Christmas." She mumbled.

"Vie, we have already been up for a while, don´t mind change clothes, we´ve got a little surprise for you downstairs." Vie kicked her covers of and sat up, for the moment she was dressed in one of Burt´s T- shirts, which was so big it almost looked like a long dress at her. She stood up, and walked after me downstairs. The others were all down in the kitchen, gathered around the kitchen table, on the table laid a big gift for Vie. I and Vie sat down by the table and then pushed the gift towards her.

"That is…" Burt began

"….the gift for you…" Carole continued

"…. From all of us…" Finn continued

"….And we´re giving it to you now…" Blaine continued.

"…Because we thought…" Kurt continued.

"….That you would need it today." I had the last part. Vie looked a bit confused, and then she lifted her hands and started pulling in the gift wrapping. She did it slowly, as if she wanted to make it last longer. When she had gotten all the paper off, it revealed a big carton. She stood up so she could look down at it, and then she lifted the lock of, and then she just stood there, her chin dropped and she just stared down in the box.

"Hello-o I said after a while. "Earth to Vie Geller."

"I…" she began. "I… I don´t know… what to say…." She reached her hands down in the carton and pulled out a smaller carton, and she opened it.

"Oh…" now she had tears in her eyes.

"What´s the matter?" Burt asked. "Don´t you like it?"

"I… I love it… but it´s so much… it´s too much."

"It is just enough." I said. "Told you I would make this a great Christmas."

"It… Oh thank you so much. Thank you." Vie seemed overwhelmed.

"Sorry, I don´t wanna interrupt this moment," Carole began. "But we gotta be at church in one and a half hour…"

"I´ll go dress." Vie took her cartons and ran out of the room. When she came back again, she was wearing what had been in the box. With black tights, tartan skirt in red, black grey and gold, red hoodie, and black and grey winter- shoes. She was also holding a headband in her hand, and she gave it to Carole, who tied it so it held her long brown hair back. Then she turned around and looked at us others.

"Come on, let me take a photo before we go." Burt said. We walked over to the living room and the Christmas tree. Where Finn, Blaine, Kurt and I stood, so Burt could take a photo of us, and then we talked Vie into also being a part of the photo. When it was time to take a photo of just the "family" I, Blaine and Vie left, and Blaine took the camera, so Burt and Carole could be a part of the picture, and then it was time to leave for church.

When we came home later, I took my rucksack and put the presents for Connor, Tyler and Hayley in it, then I walked downstairs.

"Carole, I´m just walking over to my friends´ to hand them their presents." I said.

"You´re sure they´re at home?"

"Yes, I spoke to them about this on Friday, see you later bye." I closed the door and started walking down the street. Connor´s house was the first one I reached, and I stepped up on the stairs, knocked the door. The one who opened the door was an- about six or seven year old girl with braids.

"Hi," I sat bent down to reach the girl´s level. "Is this were Connor lives?" The girl nodded, but before she could shout for him, a woman with a roundish face and blonde hair came in the door.

"Emily," the woman said. "How many times do I need to tell you to not make the guests wait at the door, let them in instead." She turned to me. "Hi…. Excuse me for making you wait here out in the cold. Come inside." I didn´t really want to go inside, but I did not wanna be rude, so I walked up the two stairs and stepped over the threshold.

"I´m Angie," the woman said. "You must be…"

"Lex?" Connor came walking out in the hallway. "Hi and Merry Christmas."

"Yes, merry Christmas Connor" I gave Connor a quick careen of my rucksack and opening it. I pulled out the present I had for Connor and gave it to him.

"Thanks," he said. "Just wait here one second, I have a gift for you as well." He walked through a door and disappeared. Angie continued talking.

"So you´re one of Connor´s friends!" I nodded. "Well it´s a pleasure to meet you… what did you say your name was?"

"Lex."

"Well, Lex, do you wanna come in and meet the others, you see it´s so rare that someone of Connor´s friends come over."

"No thanks. I was just…"

"Well you gotta meet the others… HONEY. Get the kids and come to the hallway, one of Connor´s friends is here." I blushed, but I didn´t wanna be rude, so I guessed that I´d have to meet the others. After just a couple of minutes a man in his mid- forties came walking, along with five children, all younger than Connor, four girls and one boy. Right after that also Connor came.

"Mum." Connor protested, "you don´t need to…"

"Oh don´t be rude now Connor, we need to tell this nice girl our names." I could feel I blushed again, and one after the one the people in the hall started telling me their names and ages.

"Arthur," the man said. "Forty six."

"Connor seventeen. But you already know that."

"Hannah thirteen."

"Kate ten."

"Rosie, also ten."

"Emily six." I sat down on my knees to reach the same level as the smallest, a boy that had got his thumb in his mouth.

"And what´s your name?" I asked him.

"Oliver three… have you got Christmas presents for me?"

"OLIVER." Connor seemed angry. "You don´t ask that to someone that come into our house." I held my hands up to silent Connor.

"Nope… sorry. But I´m sure you´ll have loads of nice presents anyway." Oliver nodded. Connor gave me my present, that I placed in my rucksack, and then there was loads of Merry Christmas´s, and I walked out the door and towards Hayley´s. At her house, it was Hayley herself that opened the door, though with her parents right behind her.

"Hi," I said. "Merry Christmas."

"Merry Christmas Lex."

"Me… rry… Christ… mas." The man talked slowly, because of the brain tumor I guessed.

"Merry Christmas Mr. Gordon."

"I just wanted to give you this, hope you like it." I handed Hayley her present. Like Connor, she disappeared and came back with a gift, that felt like it had books in it. I waved the Gordon´s off, and then walked towards Tyler´s. At his, it was his nine- year old little brother that opened the door.

"Hi, merry Christmas." I said. "Is Tyler at home." James nodded and took a deep breath in.

"TYYYLER."

"Okay, okay, you don´t need to shout I´m right here." Tyler came walking from the room next to the hallway. "Hi Lex, Merry Christmas."

"Merry Christmas Tyler." I handed Tyler his present, and like both Connor and Hayley, he disappeared, and came back, with not one- but two gifts that I put in my rucksack.

"So," Tyler began when I had gotten my rucksack back on. "Have you gotten any Christmas- kiss from someone today."

"No."

"That we´ll need to fix in some way? Any ideas how."

"I think you can fix it," and then his face came closer to mine…

"Kissie, Kissie, Kissie." We heard James´ voice.

"JAMES." Tyler shouted angrily, but I just laughed at James, and then we gave each other a hug and I walked out the door and towards mine.

"Hmm, that´s weird." I said when I got the presents out of my rucksack and down under the three.

"What is?" Vie asked.

"Connor and Hayley gave me each present, Tyler gave me two, and they all seem to be about the same size and shape. I shook my head. "Well, it won´t be long until we find out why." I left the presents under the tree and went upstairs to leave my rucksack, then I walked downstairs to the other.

The afternoon came and went, I had my first real Christmas- dinner, but nothing more really happened during the afternoon, and then the evening came, and we gathered in the living room, to get our presents and open them.

"So, we hand out all the Christmas presents Burt said. "Nobody opens one present until everybody have got theirs. First one…" He read the tag. "From Lex to Finn, Merry Christmas." Finn took his present and laid it next to him, the next one was from Vie to Burt, and so it went on. The first present that was handed to me was from Tyler, and then we were finished, and it was time to start opening the presents. I started with solving the mystery of why the gifts from Tyler, Hayley and Connor were all the same shape. I started with the one from Connor. In that one I found the first and fifth Harry- Potter- book. And then everything started falling into place. I had had a talk with Tyler about what I wanted for Christmas, and he asked me about books, I had told him I once had bought all the Harry- Potter- books second hand, but that Brian had burned them when I had only read about three and a half books. I laid down the ones from Connor on the floor, and then opened the one from Hayley, oh yes I had been right, in that one I found the second and the fourth book, I guessed they had put two different books in every package, so the gifts would look the same size. The one from Tyler had the third and the sixth book, and the second one from Tyler had the seventh, it was a letter in that claiming that they had bought two books each and then bought the seventh together. I smiled, put the series in one pile, and took the next gift. But before I had reached it, there was a loud laughter from Burt, who had just opened his present from me.

"What is it dad?" Kurt asked. Burt who could not stop laughing held up the cup.

"Who´s it from?" Carole asked. Burt pointed to me, and the others laughed. Carole had just opened her present from Vie.

"Oh, Vie. Did you make this?" She asked. Vie nodded. "It´s so nice." Carole continued. Vie shrugged.

"It´s not very well made." She mumbled. But Carole supported her, claiming it was the nicest kettle holder she´d ever seen. Vie smiled and returned to unwrapping gifts. She did it really slowly, as if everything would disappear if she did it too fast. Right now she was unwrapping a big soft Teddy- bear from Finn, and next to her laid the jigsaw puzzle and the hoodie from me. And two unwrapped presents, which I knew was a set of scarf, mittens and a cap. And the one from Burt and Carole I knew had a winter- jacket in it. I smiled and reached for my present from Finn. I opened it, and found a T- shirt with the text "Short people, god only let things grow until they are perfect… some of us didn´t take as long as others." I laughed at it, and looked around the room, to see that Finn seemed to have fun T-shirts for everyone. Carole had one with a superman- logo and the text "Supermom." Burt had one that said "I love my fabulous gay son." Kurt had one that said "I´m so gay I can´t even drive straight." And Blaine had one with the text "I am… ga… strai… bise… hom… tra… A PERSON."

I waited a couple of minutes before unwrapping the present from Vie and the one from Kurt and Blaine. And watched as Blaine unwrapped the present from Kurt, which was a Christmas bow- tie. And as Kurt unwrapped chocolate from Blaine. Then I turned to Carole who unwrapped the necklace- watch from me, and a kettle from Burt. She had also unwrapped a blanket with heating coils from Kurt and Blaine. Burt had gotten a button- up shirt and tie from Carole, and a bag with caramels from Vie.

Vie had unwrapped all her presents and now sat on the floor, hugging the teddy- bear from Finn. I smiled at her and started unwrapping the present from Kurt and Blaine. When I had opened it, I found a box, and the outside said it was a camera in it. I thanked Kurt and Blaine for it, and then put it to the side, to open the last present, that was from Vie. But I was interrupted when Burt made some weird sound, I looked over to him, and saw that he had just put one of the caramels from Vie in his mouth.

"Whawy." He tried to say something. "Whawy"

"Salty?" Kurt asked, as Burt grimaced and nodded.

"But… but…" Burt reached the bag towards Vie, she took one and put it in her mouth, and then grimaced. When both Burt and Vie finally had swallowed their caramels, and ate some real sweet candy to get rid of the taste Vie said.

"I didn´t put any salt in them… how could they be so salty?"

"Was it sugar in them?" Carole asked. Vie nodded. "There´s the answer you must have mixed up the sugar and the salt."

"I guess." Vie looked brokenhearted. I patted her shoulder.

"It´s no big deal Vie… it was just a mistake, and it´s the thought that counts." She nodded, and looked slightly happier. I opened the present I had gotten from her, and thanked her, and then she looked a bit happier.

"So, everyone´s opened their presents?" Burt asked.

"Yes." Came from every direction.

"So, we have a few more." Carole stood up and gave each envelope to me, Kurt and Finn. I opened it and found two tickets.

"Oh my god." I heard Kurt, apparently both his and Finn´s envelope had had two tickets in them. Kurt continued.

"Are we going on a cruise?" he asked.

"Yeah." Carole said. "You´ve gotten two tickets each, so maybe you could invite… some very ggood friend."

"Oh, Blaine… do you wanna…?" Kurt began.

"Of course I would" Blaine answered. I smiled and decided to ask Tyler, and then Burt and Carole stood up and walked over to me, I stood up too.

"So… Lex, we have one last gift, and it´s for you." Burt said. I nodded, Carole continued.

"We were thinking, how long has it been since you moved in here now?" I counted on my fingers.

"Two months."

"And yes," Burt continued. "We were thinking, we kind of like having you here, so we were wondering…"

"We were thinking, that if you want to we would make this official, and we would like to adopt you." I gasped and put my hands over my mouth. I could feel tears rising in my eyes, and I took one quick step forward and hugged both Burt and Carole. Crying of happiness.

"Is that a yes?" Burt asked, I leaned back a little.

"Yes… yes." I said. "That´s what I wanted more than anything else." Now it was time for Carole and Burt to hug me, and also Kurt and Finn came and joined our hug.

**Vie pov**

Lex, Carole, Burt, Kurt and Finn all hugged each other, and I could not help feeling a little bit outside, until Blaine came over to me, and hugged me.

"Us outsiders will just stay right here." He shouted to the others, with Lex in the middle of the group. They laughed, and told us to come, and together we hugged, all the time with Lex in the middle.

"You don´t need to break all of my ribs," Lex shouted after a while, and then we hugged her even harder.

**Lex pov**

A while later, the boys had fixed so my camera would work, and then I, Finn, Kurt, Burt and Carole gathered in front of the Christmas tree, to shoot a new family photo.

"Okay," Blaine held the camera up. "Everybody say just family."

"FAMILY." We shouted, and Blaine took the picture.

"So… we´re gonna be a family." Finn said.

"Yes," I agreed. "Just one big happy family."

Just one big happy family, how great that sounded. Just one big happy family.

**So… okay this is by far the longest chapter I´ve ever written. I know there´s a lot of Christmas presents mentioned, and yes, I decided for over thirty Christmas presents, how the boys react to their new shoelaces will come up in the next chapter. So… merry Christmas… oh wait… a little bit too early for that… well, whatever.  
I think Oliver´s so cute, don´t you?  
Oh, and on my profile there´s yet another picture of a character… this time for Ethan. **


	55. New year s night

At Christmas day evening, we all sat in the living room talking, one hour, two hours, when the clock had reached eleven, Vie had fallen asleep in the sofa, Finn lifted her up, and carried her up to my room. When Finn had left the room, I and Carole undressed Vie, and dressed her in Burt´s T- shirt. Then we laid her down at the mattress next to my bed, I laid the teddy- bear, that she had named BooBoo next to her, and then pulled her covers over her, and as quiet as we could, I got my diary, and my pencil- case, and sneaked out of the room. I walked downstairs, sat down in the sofa again, and wrote about the best Christmas of my life.

_Dear Clara  
Even though it´s three hours since they told me, I still can´t believe this is really happening. Who told me what? Well, the last Christmas- present for this evening, it was from Burt and Carole to me, and they said, that they wanna adopt me. Can you believe it? They´re really gonna adopt me, I am really gonna be a part of their family. I really hope you can believe it, because I can´t. They want me, with all my good sides, all my flaws, they really want me. I´ve never really felt wanted before.  
Lex_

I stopped writing, and laid the book down on the living room table.

Late night, at new year´s eve, we were going to the park, Rebeccah had arrived here two days after Christmas, she was nice, we got along well. At the park there were gonna be fireworks. We dressed in warm clothes, but when I, Vie, Rebeccah Burt and Carole were outside, the boys were still inside the house. Fixing with something. I looked up to the skies, there were no clouds on the skyline, but stars. Millions and millions of stars. I took a deep breath, and for a second, I thought back on new year´s eve last year. Brian had had some friends over, they had pushed me out of the house, I had sat on the staircase to the house, and it had been raining as if the skies were falling down. When midnight got closer I had heard the shouts from inside… FIVE… FOUR… THREE…. When they were all shouting "HAPPY NEW YEAR" it rained worse than ever, I was only dressed in my usual sweatpants and sweatshirt, and it was only a few degrease Celsius outside.

I sighed and shook the thoughts of me, and looked to the ground. I looked up again when I heard the door open, and the boys finally came out.

"Look." Finn said. "We´re so awesome even our shoelaces are glowing." I looked to their feet, and smiled when I saw that this was the reason they hadn´t mentioned a word about what I had given them for Christmas. Now they were all wearing black sneakers, with each pair of glowing shoelaces. Burt chuckled, and together we walked towards the park. We would meet up with Tyler and his family there as well, James and Vie were the same age, maybe they could play around a bit if they got along. I was also gonna tell Tyler about the cruise, ask him if he wanted to come.

When we got to the park, I spotted Tyler right away.

"There they are." I said to the others, and ran over to Tyler. Who looked really (faked) sad.

"Hi. What is it Tyler?"

"I´m so sad." He said.

"Oh, why?"

"Because I didn´t get no Christmas kiss, and I haven´t gotten one single kiss after that either. I´m in a state of lack of kisses." I laughed, and kissed Tyler on the mouth fast.

"That´s much better, but…" he leaned down, and held his face really close to mine, I had my arms around his neck. "…I think we can make it even better!" He kissed me again, and this time, none of us let go, until James spoke up.

"Oh, yuk, come on guys, get a room if you wanna snog." I leaned back a bit more, then leaned my head against Tyler´s chest, shaking of laughter.

"Seriously Lex," Tyler said. "Stop laughing," then he started laughing too, I turned around to see what James was doing, and what I saw, well, there was no way to misunderstand it. He was staring at Vie, with a dreaming glance, his mouth was half open, and he was drooling.

"James," Tyler spoke up. "Girls doesn´t like boys who drool." James immediately closed his mouth, and dried his chin with his sleeve- before he stumbled towards Vie, and reached out his hand, Vie took it.

"Hi I´m James." He slurred, and then I could not keep a straight face anymore, I started giggling, Tyler joined in.

"Seriously," Mrs. Benton said. "It´s not funny, you shouldn´t la…"

"AAAH." James had stared at Vie, at the same time as he tried to walk, with the conclusion that he stumbled, and fell. He jumped up again.

"I´m all right," he pulled his shirt. "I´m fine." Now I and Tyler laughed harder than ever. Blaine, Kurt and Finn had joined in, Rebeccah too, even though she tried not to laugh. Now also Burt and Carole, and Mr. and Mrs. Benton also had started giggling, and it ended up with all of us, except Vie and James, standing there and laughing, and laughing… and laughing. Vie and James, as well as the others in the park looked at us with strange glares, as if we were crazy, but it didn´t matter. We could not stop laughing. Finally, when we all stood gasping for breath, there was just a few minutes to midnight.

We all sat down on the ground, Tyler had his arms around me. Blaine and Kurt sat close to each other, as well as Finn and Rebeccah, and Burt and Carole. James and Vie sat next to each other, and James was still staring. Mrs. Benton sat behind me and Tyler, and Mr. Benton in the outcast of the group, and then it started.

"FIVE."

All the people in the park started the countdown.

"FOUR."

We stood up

"THREE"

The shouts grew louder and louder.

"TWO."

So close

"ONE"

Last second of 2016

"HAPPY NEW YEAR."

So, this was the beginning of 2017.

**So, that´s the end of this chapter. Hope you liked it, I had loads of fun writing that part about James falling in love with Vie. What did you think of it? **


	56. A terrible person

January the second, I, Vie, Blaine and Kurt sat around the kitchen table, sadly, it was time for us to start finding Vie a foster family, and we brainstormed ideas, of what Vie would like to have.

"So Vie, would you like to have…" I thought. "A cat, or a dag… or maybe a… a goat."

"A goat?" Vie snorted. "I don´t wanna have a goat, I wanna stay here." Blaine started playing with Vie´s hair.

Vie actually liked all of us, living in this house. But after Christmas, she had started clinging more to Blaine for some reason. They were now the best of friends. Rebeccah and Finn were out somewhere, and Burt and Carole were out talking to Burt´s old colleagues from the council, trying to find a good foster- family for Vie.

"I know you want to!" Blaine said. "But you know it´s not gonna happen. It´s not that they don´t want to, because we all really love having you here. But we want the best for you." Vie nodded, and we all looked up as we heard the door open and close, and Burt and Carole came in from the hallway.

"Well," Burt began and sat down by the table, Carole sat down next to him. "…"

"…"

"Okay just please tell me what happened." Vie talked fast, and had her eyes wide open of excitement.

"Yes," Burt began again. "Well, we talked to one of my old colleagues. It turned out he´s got an old friend who now lives in Nashville. They can´t have children on their own, but they have fostered and later adopted three children." He looked to Carole.

"Yes, and they have a farm, with horses, and a few cats. Where everyone does horse- riding, and John says that they´re really nice people. John said he´d call them tonight, and ask them about if they want to foster again. He also said that they just about never say no to that. Then he´ll call us."

"So, a farm with horses, you could learn to do horse- riding. Doesn´t that sound like fun?" I asked Vie. She shrugged.

"Vie, if you promise me one thing!" Burt said. "I´ll promise you that if it doesn´t work out, you can come and live here, until we´ve found another, better foster- family. But then you´ll have to promise me to try your best to make it work out all right?"

"Okay." Vie answered. "Gosh, now we´ve gotta wait for that phone call… it´s gonna be a looong day." She opened her mouth to say something else, but then got a confused look on her face. "What is the police doing here?" I turned around to look out the window, to the driveway. And Vie really was right, there were two police- men, walking up the driveway, towards the door.

"I`ll go take it." Burt stood up. "You just wait here." He stood up and walked out in the hallway, we heard the police and Burt talking, then they came walking all three of them.

"Vie, they…" Burt began. "They wanna talk to you." Vie looked- if possible- even more confused at this moment.

"Are you Vie Geller?" one of the police- men asked. Vie nodded.

"Daughter to Sarah Geller?"

"Yes."

"We´ve got some bad news for you…"

"O... kay."

"Yesterday, your mum was found in your apartment."

"What do you mean found?"

"It was an overdose…"

"Overdose?"

"I´m sorry kiddo, your mother committed suicide." I could not help to gasp, then I looked to Vie. Who basically didn´t express any feelings at all, she didn´t scream, didn´t cry, didn´t ran out of the room. She just stood there.

**Half an hour later **

"Is there anything I can do for you?" Carole asked. We were all gathered around the table now, I, Vie, Kurt, Blaine, Burt and Carole. Finn and Rebeccah was out, but they should be back any minute. Vie sat by the short side of the table, her lower arms and hands was resting on the table, and she just sat there, staring right in front of her. She shook her head to Carole´s question.

"No." she almost whispered. I reached my hand forward, laid it on top of her hand, but she pulled it away from mine. I turned my head when I heard the door opening, and Finn and Rebeccah came into the kitchen, they were laughing about something, but stopped when they saw the looks on our faces.

"What´s going on?" Finn asked. Carole stood up, and walked over to them. With a low voice, she told them what happened.

"Oh, Vie I´m so sorry." Finn said. Vie slightly nodded, and then she stood up.

"Well, if I need to have all our things out from that apartment before Monday, I might as well get started." At those words, we all stood up, Vie looked around.

"You don´t need to come with me." She said. "I can do it myself!"

"We´re coming with you," Blaine said. "Come on now, that´s what friends are for." Vie smiled slightly, then we all walked out of the house, Vie showed us the way to her old house, when we were there. It was in the city, one of those who is set on top of a store, with a door next to the door to the store. Vie had the key, and she opened the door, and walked up three stairs, then she unlocked a door to the left, and we walked into the apartment. We stepped over the threshold, and barely have we all gotten inside and closed the door behind us, before Vie collapsed on the floor, sobbing and shaking unstoppable. Blaine squatted down next to her. I took a step forward to do the same, but Carole held me back.

"Come on Lex, we´ll go inside, I think it´s best if Blaine and Vie can be alone for a minute." I nodded, and walked after Carole to the living room, and we sat down, in the sofa, or on the floor, and waited.

After a while, Blaine and Vie came to the living room, we stood up. Vie´s cheeks were red and swollen from the crying, I patted her shoulder, and then we started. Burt had brought garbage- bags, Carole had brought plastic gloves, Finn had his car, so we could put everything in that, and either drive it to the waste collection, or home to Burt and Carole.

"So, where do we start?" Burt asked, and looked to Vie. Who looked to me.

"You´re the only one who´s done this before!" she said. "How should we do it?" I sighed.

"Well," I said. "And looked around. "We should, well… ehrm…. Maybe if you two…" I pointed to Burt and Carole. "You can take the kitchen. You two," I pointed to Finn and Rebeccah." Take this living room. "You two," I pointed to Kurt and Blaine. "And I, we´ll take the two bedrooms, and Vie, just walk around and observe so we do everything right."

For four hours after that, we threw things away, threw things at each other, talked, joked and messed around, and cleaned, and much more. When the clock had reached six in the evening, we decided to save the rest for yesterday. None of us had enough energy to make dinner, so Finn and Rebecca drove to the nearest pizza- restaurant, bought some pizzas, and then we all met at home, to eat dinner.

But still, John hadn´t called, and Vie was getting more and more nervous about that. After dinner, I noticed that she had walked out and now sat on the stairs to the house. I walked out to her.

"You okay?" I asked, closed the door and sat down next to her. She shrugged.

"Lex?" she began.

"Mhm."

"This about my mum… it´s like…. I should be sad shouldn´t I…"

"Mhm"

"It´s not like my mother ever treated me well. And I don´t know if I actually loved her, or if she loved me. So… it´s like I can´t be sad… does that make me a terrible person?"

"No… no it doesn´t. Vie you are under no circumstances a terrible person." She nodded, I laid my arms around her shoulders, and then we sat there for a while, just talking.

And when we came indoors again, we could both hear Burt´s phone ringing.

**So, the part about all Vie´s feelings in this chap, it was really really really hard to write, so don´t hate me if it´s not so good.  
A bit of a cliffhanger, but I can tell you that it´s John who´s calling. Dum dum dum duuuuuuum**


	57. Steve and Jenny

I held Vie´s hand while Burt was talking on the phone to John, she bit her lip, and it almost felt like ages before Burt said goodbye and hung up.

"That was John!" he began. Vie held her breath. "Apparently, this couple, they´re in Lima this week, and they wanna meet us personally. So, I've got the number to them, and I´m gonna call them now, and see if we can get along about some time." Burt turned around, and pressed some numbers on his phone. I and Vie sat down next to Carole in one of the sofas, Burt sat down in a chair, and Rebeccah, Finn, Blaine and Kurt sat in the other sofa, though Rebeccah sat in Finn´s lap.

"Mhm," Burt had been speaking on the phone for a while now. "Mhm, okay, see you tomorrow then. Bye Mr. McNeal… Steve… bye." Burt hung up. Vie was now almost jumping in the sofa.

"WhaddidhesaywhatdidhesaywhatdidheSAY" she almost shouted. The others laughed, but I didn´t do anything, I knew how Vie felt way too good to laugh about it.

And she were wondering, if she was gonna feel wanted, or just being unwanted, AGAIN. Burt leaned forward, and began.

"Well, they´re coming over tomorrow, at one P.M…"

"AND?"

"Their names are Steve and Jenny McNeal, they´ve got a farm, and currently three fosterchildren. They´ve got the place for one more foster-kid, and no, they haven´t found one yet… so… fingers crossed. But, as I said they´re gonna be here tomorrow at one, so, then we´ll know if you´ll get along with them or not." Vie nodded.

I looked down at Vie, twisted a tress of her waist- long, dirty- blonde hair around my finger. Was this really the same Vie Geller, as the one I´d med outside the bank on the head street in town? Was this really the same girl that had been hiding half of her face, behind the high collar of her raincoat? Was this actually the same person who had been covered in mind and dirt, with matted dirty hair, and scared looking green eyes?

Was this really the same girl who had come running, soaking wet, bleeding and sobbing her heart out that night?

"Lex? LEX?" I woke up from my thoughts by Vie´s voice calling my name.

"Mhm."

"Do you remember the first time we met? You told me that, if you didn´t walk back into the bank, Burt and Carole would start worrying for you… you said that you would tell me why some other time… but you haven´t told me. Could you tell me now?" I nodded, took a deep breath and began.

"Vie… did I ever tell you about my sister Maddie?"

**The next day**

"When are they coming?" We were in the living room, Vie was almost jumping of nervousness now.

"Vie, calm down," Carole tried. "The time won´t go faster the more stressed out you are."

"What time is it?" Burt sighed, took of his wrist watch and reached it to Vie, so she could check the time herself, and then the minutes went by… one, two, three, four…

"The clock is ten past one now," Vie said after a while. "Shouldn´t they be here by now? Why are they late?"

"I don´t know," Burt said. "They probably just have some trouble finding the right street or something." Vie nodded, we waited. The clock became twenty minutes past, half past, twenty minutes to two… and then at ten minutes before two, the door knocked.

"They´re here, they´re here." Vie jumped up from the sofa, and sprinted to the door. I, Burt and Carole stood up too, and walked after her.

The couple that now stood in the door were perhaps in their early thirties, they both had middle- brown hair, and blue, really kind- looking eyes. I shook hands with them.

"Hi, Lex."

"Steve McNeal."

"Lex."

"Jenny."

"So," Burt said. "Why don´t we just go to the living room and sit down, coffee? Tea? Coke?"

"Ehrm.. Tea please." Jenny said.

"Coffee for me." Steve said. first we came into the living room. Burt spoke up again.

"This is my son Kurt, and his boyfriend Blaine, and that´s Carole´s son Finn, and his girlfriend Rebeccah." There were a lot more hi and hello, I walked into the kitchen and got each coke for me and Vie, then I walked into the living room again, and sat down on the floor. Burt and Carole were in the kitchen, making tea and coffee. We all sat quiet until they came into the living room, with a trey with coffee to Burt, Steve, Blaine and Finn, and tea to Carole, Jenny, Kurt and Rebeccah. It kept on being quiet for a couple of minutes more, and to try to get a conversation going Kurt asked.

"So, how long have you been married then?" Jenny and Steve laughed, Kurt looked confused.

"Ehrm, we´re not married," Steve said. "We´re twins." Kurt blushed.

"It´s okay," Jenny said. "You´re not the first one asking, no… but I´ve got a boyfriend, it´s just that, we have never been separated, it was just always so clear, it was our dream to have a farm together."

"yeah, and have foster children and so, help them. With help from each other, and the cats, and the horses." Steve continued.

"Loads of people think that to have foster children, you gotta be this typical, husband- wife- couple, but we´re just a sister and a brother, who had the same dream. But enough about us… what about you?" she looked to Vie.

"What about me?"

"Would you like to live at our farm? Learn to ride horses, and get to know our other foster children?" Steve asked. Vie shrugged.

"Bye, see you in two weeks, bye." Vie waved Steve and jenny off that evening. In two weeks, she would go to Nashville, to Steve and Jenny, to try and settle in at the farm.

"So, that went well," Blaine said. "Didn´t it?"

"I guess it did," Vie yawned, and walked upstairs to go to bed.

**So, I´m stopping right there, this chapter isn´t so good I guess… but, but, can´t be on top all the time can I? haha, just kidding.  
So, I´m looking forward to a four days long weekend, I´m spending the first night home alone, so I´ll probably do some more writing… bye for this time. **


	58. Goals

Monday the ninth, the school started again, I walked into the school- building, I had to find Tyler, I had forgotten to tell him about the cruise at new year, so I was gonna do it now, when I spotted Tyler in the end of the hallway, along with Hayley and Connor. I waved, and half ran over to them. I gave them each hug, and then turned to Tyler.

"Tyler can I talk to you alone, just for a minute?"

"Yeah sure!" I tried to push myself through the crowds to the choir room, but when I opened the door, I just took one step in, when I saw who was in there, I stopped in the middle of a step, I held out my hand to stop Tyler, and showed him to be quiet.

The boy who stood there, I recognized right away. It was the boy who had been following me until that first date I´d had with Tyler, Teeghan stood there too, they were talking, and none of them had seen me.

"So this is really her number then?" The boy asked. Teeghan nodded.

"Yeah, that´s her number, I´m a hundred percent sure about that. Hope you can have some use for it."

"Who´s number." I took another step into the room, Tyler came too behind me, and the door closed behind us. The boy, who as usual wore his hood up over his head, and big sunglasses. He walked past me and Tyler, and out the door, I turned to Teeghan again.

"Teeghan," I asked calmly, but my anger and fear made my heart pound so hard I could feel the blood streaming in my ears. "What number did you give him, did you give him my number… Teeghan answer me. Did you give him my number?"

"Yes." I opened, my mouth to say something, but Tyler was faster.

"Teeg, seriously, I know you don´t like Lex, but I never thought you´d do something like this."

"You could just have given my number to a murderer, or a rapist or something." I spat. "None of us have any idea who he is."

"I do know who he is, he said his name was Patrick Leslie, and he said he knew you very well."

"Teeghan… I don´t know any Patrick Leslie."

"Whatever." Teeghan walked out of the room, when she was out, I kicked in a chair, and sat down on it. Tyler squatted down in front of me, took my hands.

"Hey, look at me!" he said, I looked him in the eyes. He continued.

"We´re gonna make this through, we´ll figure out who he is, and somehow we´ll make it work. Trust me." He laid his hand on my cheek, then raised a little and kissed me, just fast.

"Was it something you wanted to tell or ask me by the way?" Tyler continued.

"Yes, yeah, one of the Christmas presents I got from Burt and Carole was two tickets for a cruise, Burt and Carole are coming of course, they gave me, Kurt, and Finn two tickets each, Kurt´s bringing Blaine, Finn´s bringing Rebeccah. So, I was wondering, if you would like to come with me. Tyler´s chin dropped.

"R-re- really?" he stuttered. "Me." He pointed at himself.

"Yeah silly, you."

"W- when?"

"July the first, so not long after school have ended."

"I´d… I would be honored. Thank you… thank you Lex." He lifted me up, spun around with me, and then put me down on the floor again.

"But wait…" Tyler said when we were on our way through the crowds in the corridors again. "You said one of the presents from Burt and Carole, what is the other one?"

"Ehrm, I´ll rather tell all of my friends at the same time. So, you´ll know tomorrow at glee- club all right?" At the same time I´d said that, both mine and Tyler´s phone beeped, we checked it.

_Extra glee- club- meeting today at three P.M.  
Mr. Schue_

"So," we stopped, and put our phone back in our pockets. "I guess we´ll know at glee- practice today then…. Why have we stopped by the way?"

"this is the classroom I´m gonna have my first lesson for today in. See you later."

"Yeah, if I survive without you until lunch." Tyler said dramatic. I laughed and blew him a kiss, before I opened the door to my classroom and stepped in.

**Glee- club**

"Mr. Schue, I would like to make an announcement, before we start."

"The floor´s yours." I stood up, more jumped than what I did walk down to the floor.

"So… ehrm, I´m not sure why I wanted to tell you guys this, but you guys are my friends so… well. Burt and Carole´s Christmas present to me, it was… a kinda big thing… gosh… well, it was… that they… they are gonna adopt me."

"Really?" Mr. Schue asked.

"No, I´m lying to you… " I said ironic. "Yes, really." The next thing I knew, was my feet being like, half a meter over the floor when Tyler lifted me up, he spun around with me for the second time today. Soon, Liam, Mariah, Connor, Hayley, Ben, Ethan, Marcie, Johnny, and Mr. Schue was out on the floor, they lifted me up, all at once, threw me in the air, and caught me again. I laughed. Four times they threw me in the air, before they let me stand on my own two feet again. Just as they let me down, Alice came walking into the room, her eyes were red, as her cheeks, that were swollen, as if she just had been crying.

"Any news?" Mr. Schue asked her, and we all knew what he was asking about. Alice shook her head.

"Nothing!" she sighed. "Doesn´t matter really… I guess Josh´s dead now anyway."

"NO." Liam almost shouted. "Alice, it does matter and you know it, and don´t you lose hope. Don´t let that happen to you." Alice nodded, Mr. Schue patted her shoulder, then we all went to sit down again.

"By the way Ethan?" Liam asked. "How long are you gonna have those moonboots on?"

"Hopefully, I´ll get them off when I go to the doctors tomorrow."

"So… glee clubbers… you guys that have been in the New Directions earlier years, you know that the first two weeks of the spring term, we put together a concert, that we hold in the audiotourium, for some sort of charity, and I just had an idea… just talk to each other for a minute, and I´ll just think about it for a while.

"So," Ethan leaned towards the twins. "Have you guys started thinking about colleges yet?"

"Yes," Mariah said. "Liam wanna be a doctor, I wanna go to some place where I can study music more. We´re trying to find some way we can live together or at least close to each other."

"How´s that going then?" Ethan asked.

"Not too well." Liam answered him. "I mean, how hard could it be to have a doctor´s college, and a music- college in the freaking same place."

Soon, I, Tyler, the twins, Ethan, Ben and Marcie was in a discussion about what we want to do when we grow up. I wanted to find some way to help children stuck with alcoholic parents, Tyler wanted to do something with music, Ethan wanted to be a doctor, as well as Liam. Ben wanted to be a care- worker, or at least help children who had been dumped by their real parents, like himself. I guessed Marcie was the most unexpected, she wanted to be a professional horse- rider, or at least have some work where she could spend all her time with horses.

"Didn´t know you´re one of those horse- girls Marcie." Ethan said, she shrugged.

"I guess you didn´t." She said. "I… well… it´s kind of a long story."

"Well, if you start telling the story now, you could finish it later."

"It´s not really a long story… it´s just that, in Junior high, the boys in my class used to bully me for being a horse- girl. I switched schools when I moved here to Lima before seventh grade, and I never told anybody, because I was afraid that I would start getting bullied again. It´s not that hard though. I get up early in the morning, my mum helps me to take my horse into the stable, I feed him, groom him just fast, put him in the stables. Give him hay, fresh water, get inside change my clothes, come home, change my clothes, go to the stables, groom, do some riding, put him in his pasture. Then feed him in the evening… and then it starts again. I usually go competing in the weekends, but never tell anyone about it."

"What is his name then?" Ben asked.

"His full name is Hughton´s Herrey, he´s a Swedish warmblood, There is some old Swedish boy- band that used to call themselves like the Herrey brothers or something like that. But we just call him Hugo. To keep him company, we´ve also got a donkey named Donnie. But he is in the pasture twenty four seven. Sorry, when I start talking about these things I just can´t stop"

"Donnie the donkey" Ethan chuckled.

"Are you competing this weekend?" Ben asked.

"Yeah."

"Can I come?"

"I... sure… but then you gotta get up pretty early in the morning, we´ll leave about seven."

"I can do that!" Ethan snorted with laughter.

"Well, my house, six thirty, then you can come with us."

"I think your brother´s falling in love!" I whispered in Ethan´s ear, he smiled and put his mouth to my ear to whisper something.

"This will be fun, " he whispered back. "Ben´s as tomorrow tired as can be. On the weekends, he never gets up before noon. He must really be into Marcie." I smiled, and suppressed a laughter.

"So, I´ve written down my ideas," Mr. Schue jumped up on the piano, with a notebook in his hands. "These are my ideas. This year, next Friday more likely. We´ll hold a concert. We´ll sing songs that´s about missing children and such, And the incomes we get for it, can we give to the fund for the police´ work with missing children. In the background on the screen, we can have different pictures of Josh, and in the end, we´ll put up a number on the screen, tell people they call that number if they know anything about Josh. What do you think?" he gazed over the group, we could hear sobbing and sniveling from Alice.

"I… Mr. Schue… oh… I mean… the chance is actually really tiny that someone there will know something, but thank you for giving me a chance to try… I really think that it´s a good idea, I´ll bring some photos…. Thank you." She stood up, rushed across the floor and embraced Mr. Schue. He showed us others to come to, and at last, it was just a big group hug.

**So, Ben/Marcie are so cute don´t you think? I know I wrote that both Ethan and Liam wanna be doctors, and that both Lex and Ben wanna help children, but in fact… it´s what I can see them doing… especially Liam, he´s just supposed to be a doctor. Well whatever, please review.**


	59. All these lives

**So, this is the plan for the next weeks (in the story not reality)  
Find- Josh- concert  
Unknown- songs- weeks  
Family- week  
Funeral- week  
Credit to the real life heroes (soldiers)- week  
and then, that´s the plan I´ve got. Then there´s gonna be another few weeks, and then they´re gonna start practicing for regionals. And that´s all I´m gonna tell you for now. **

The first call came when I was walking home, together with Connor, Hayley and Tyler as usual, that afternoon, after glee. My phone began to vibrate, and soon the tones of some random ringtone that had been in the phone when I got it was heard. I picked it up "hidden number" read over the screen. I pressed the green button and put it to my ear.

"Lex Ralston yes?"

"Hi… Alexandria." A boy said on the other side. "You know… you should really be more careful with who you give your number to." I felt that all the colour of my face disappeared, and I stopped.

"Who is this? What do you want?" My voice was shaking.

"Let´s just say… that I think you know me as a Patrick Leslie." Patrick… or whatever was the name of that mystery boy, came around the corner down the street, he walked towards us slowly, until he stopped right in front of us. He turned his phone off, and put it in his pocket, I did the same.

"What do you want?" I said, slowly.

"I´m not willing to hurt you…" the boy began. "…Neither am I after to kidnap, scare or in any other way harm you. But no… I am not gonna tell you what I want… not just yet."

"Listen… Patrick… or whatever your name is." Tyler took a step forward. "I suggest you leave my girlfriend alone… now, before I call the police." Patrick chuckled.

"So… your girlfriend huh? Well whatever… and you… no, Patrick isn´t my real name, but you can call me that for the time being. Good day." The boy turned around and walked away. I just stood there, with my hands in my pockets, and looked after him, until he had disappeared around the corner again.

"Lex…. Love." Tyler was the first one to begin talking to me. "You okay?"

"Yeah, yeah… I´m fine… you just go,"

"You´re sure?"

"Yeah, I need a moment on my own, you go."

"Well, if you´re sure." Tyler patted my shoulder. Then I heard them talking while they walked away. First after that I was sure they couldn´t see or hear me any longer?" I stopped fighting against the tears that came rolling down my cheeks way too fast for me to stop them.

For a short matter of time, just so short, my life had been so good. Not perfect, I´d had somebody who had given me a home, because they wanted, not because they had to. I´d had a group of friends that cared, a boyfriend that I loved- everything had been so good. Until this boy came into the picture.

I sighed, wiped away the tears, took a deep breath and started walking again. When I got home, the others were standing out on the driveway, I guessed Finn and Rebeccah was just about to leave, to go back to New York.

"There you are!" Burt said when I walked up on the driveway. "Thought Finn and Rebeccah would have to leave without saying goodbye."

"Yep, here I am." I gave Rebeccah a hug.

"Bye Bex, see you for the cruise." Then I walked over to Finn and gave him a hug.

"Bye Finn, see you for the holidays."

"See you Lex." They both said at once, and then stepped into the car, with Burt driving, I, Vie, Blaine, Kurt and Carole, were waving as they drove away. Then we all turned around and walked into the house.

"Why were you so late home?" Vie asked.

"Well, you know… glee club." I said.

"Glee club aren´t until half past five."

"Oh, I was gonna tell you… next Friday, at six P.M. finding- Josh- concert."

"Who is Josh and why are you avoiding question?"

"Josh is the little- brother of one of the members in New Directions, and I´m not avoiding the question. I´m just changing subject."

"Why are there gonna be a concert for finding Josh?" Blaine asked.

"Josh was kidnapped before Christmas. We´re holding a concert to get in money for the police´s work with finding missing children, and in the background, we´re showing pictures of Josh."

"Okay. I hope they´ll find him then."

"Yeah, I do too, I´ve seen some pictures of him, and he´s just the most adorable, sweetest kid you could ever find."

"So… Then why were you late home?" Blaine teased.

"I just forgot something at school, and when I was almost at home, I noticed it, so I walked back and got it that´s all," I lied. "I´m going upstairs, I´ve got some homework to do Oh, and by the way, one of the other girls in ND, she´s competing with her horse on Saturday, we´re gonna cheer for her, so I´m probably gonna be long gone when you get up, and then I´m not gonna be home until the evening."

"Which girl?" Kurt asked. I sighed.

"Marcie Taylor."

"Isn´t that the daughter to Sgt. Taylor?" Carole asked, I nodded.

"Yes, it is. Look, as I said, I´ve got something to do, so…" I didn´t finish the sentence, just turned around and walked upstairs, I put on Google and searched for songs about kidnapped children, I found one, listened to it a few times, and then I wrote the lyrics and chords on a paper, and walked downstairs.

"BLAINE" I shouted. "Could you help me with one thing?"

"Yep, what do you want help with?" I showed him the papers.

"Could you play this on guitar you think?"

"Yeah, I´ll just go get it." Blaine disappeared for a moment and when he came back he had his guitar, he sat down, and laid the papers on the table. He took a few chords, and then it began.

_Doesn't come down when she calls,  
"It's time for breakfast."  
Momma can't get down those halls  
Fast enough to see  
Glass is sprayed across the floor  
From the broken window.  
She can't breathe anymore.  
Can't deny what we know._

_They're gonna find you, just believe.  
You're not a person; you're a disease._

_All these lives that you've been taking,  
Deep inside, my heart is breaking.  
Broken homes from separation  
Don't you know it's violation?  
It's so wrong, but you'll see.  
Never gonna let you take my world from me.  
The world outside these walls may know you're breathing,_

_But you ain't comin' in.  
You ain't comin' in._

_Posters hung on building walls  
Of missing faces.  
Months go by without the cause,  
The clues, or traces._

_They're gonna find you, just believe.  
You're not a person; you're a disease._

_All these lives that you've been taking,  
Deep inside, my heart is breaking.  
Broken homes from separation.  
Don't you know it's violation?  
It's so wrong, but you'll see.  
Never gonna let you take my world from me.  
The world outside these walls may know you're breathing,_

_But you ain't comin' in._

_Shed the light on all the ones who never thought they would become  
A father, mother asking  
why this world can be so cold._

_Doesn't come down when she calls,  
"It's time for breakfast."  
The memories begin to fall.  
She asks, "When will I be free?"_

_All these lives that you've been taking  
Deep inside, my heart is breaking.  
Broken homes from separation.  
Don't you know it's violation?  
It's so wrong, but you'll see.  
Never gonna let you take my world from me.  
The world outside these walls may know you're breathing,  
But you ain't comin' in._

_All these lives that you've been taking,  
Deep inside, my heart is breaking.  
All these lives that you've been taking,  
Deep inside, my heart is breaking.  
All these lives that you've been taking,  
Deep inside, my heart is breaking.  
The world outside these walls may know you're breathing,  
The world outside these walls may know you're breathing,  
But you ain't comin' in._

**Stopping right there, the song is all these lives by Daughtry. As you can see, somewhere in between the chapters it was decided that not only Ben is coming with Marcie to that competition. Why? Because I´ve got some awesome storylines to it. And the next chap, is gonna be directly at the day for the competition, I´m sorry, but these next two weeks, are gonna be quite boring. During the unknown- songs- week, things are becoming interesting, as then, I´m gonna reveal who this "Patrick Leslie" is… dum, dum, dum duuuum  
Marcie´s horse´s Hugo, his breed has been changed from iceland pony to Swedish warmblood... I did that to make it suit better with the storylines for next chap  
**


	60. Early morning

**Marcie´s horse´s name and breed has been changed from Naggur, to Hughton´s Herrey, and from Iceland pony to Swedish warmblood. I made him a Swedish Warmblood, because that would suit the storylines better. **  
**And, if there are any twilighter there, my twilight- fic is gonna be a Sims- 3- series, you´ve got the link on my profile. Gosh… I´m so excited. **

I was up at six, Saturday morning, I got myself downstairs, and in the shower to wake me up a bit more, before dressing and eating breakfast. I did it all as quiet as I could, trying to not waking someone up. When I saw Tyler driving up on the driveway, I half ran outside and to his car. Where I climbed up in the seat in the front.

"Hey Ty." I said, he leaned towards my seat, I smiled, and kissed him. Then he started driving.

"We´re gonna pick up Connor and Ethan as well, Ben´s riding with the Taylor´s, but they didn´t have space for Ethan. I nodded, and Tyler drove onto a side street I knew would lead us to the Morison´s. Ethan was leaning against, what I guess one of his parents´ car, and stood up fully when we came driving. He walked over to the car. Limping, mostly due to the fact that he only had one of the casts still on. Ethan stepped into the back seat.

"Hey guys." He said, closed the door, and then Tyler started driving again, I yawned.

"So… Ethan, did Ben get up this morning?"

"He did… still can´t believe how." That was the last thing I hear them talking about, before I fell asleep, leaning against the door.

"Lex, Lex." The next thing I knew, Tyler spoke my name, and shook my shoulder. "Lex, wake up, we´re here now." I groaned and opened my eyes slowly.

"Mhm, I´m coming." I stepped out of the car, and followed Tyler, Connor and Ethan. I´m not sure how, but somehow, we found Marcie. Who was currently standing behind the horsebox, holding a big (in my opinion) brown horse, that I guessed was Hugo. I walked over to her, and then I saw that also Mr. Schue, Liam, Mariah and Ben were there. Those were the only ones that was coming though, so I was last to join the group. Seeing Marcie here, with her horse, dressed in riding clothes, was a whole other thing than seeing her at school. At school, dressed in sneakers, jeans, some colorful button up, and always the same grey hoodie, holding the books and folders pressed to her chest, shy and not self-confident. Here, dressed in brown breeches, a pink college- shirt, over a white button- up, brown riding gloves, and a brown shoes, and in her hand, she held a helmet, with brown velvet. She seemed really self – confident.

Hugo, had both horse- cloth and halter in the same pink color as Marcie´s shirt, and the web lead was pink and brown.

"Good idea to make it all go in pink and brown…" I said. "Even the horse´s brown." Marcie smiled.

Hugo, as I said, he was big in my opinion, brown, with a white broad from his forehead to his mule, and one of his legs were white a bit up, which almost made it look like he was wearing a white sock.

Hugo buffed on Marcie with his mule, she smiled and started scratching his forehead. He leaned his head to Marcie´s chest and almost looked like he was half- sleeping.

We all looked up when we heard a scream, and the sound a horse coming closer in high speed.

"SOMEBODY CATCH MY HORSE!" we heads someone shout, but the big grey horse, seemed to be so big no one of us was brave (or stupid) enough to stand in its way. The next thing I knew, Marcie had ripped the helmet out of Mariah´s hands. She put it on her head and jumped up on Hugo´s back, with a bit of help from Liam lifting her. Hugo sat after the running horse.

"COME ON BOY." We could hear Marcie shouting. "COME ON, YOU CAN DO IT." The ride got down on a meadow next to the parking lot.

How Marcie even stayed on Hugo, with a horse- cloth instead of saddle, and with halter and web lead instead of bridle, I couldn´t understand, but she did luckily. She had so close to the grey horse, she was almost side by side with it, only a few inches more. Not many seconds later, Marcie reached for the other horse´s web lead. I held my breath of the suspense. I saw Marcie catch the grey horse´s web lead, and the both horses stopped. Just a few seconds later, she came slowly walk spirit towards the parking lot. The girl who owned the horse, with something in her hand, that looked like that thing you use to whip with on the horseback.

"NO, DON`T GO NEAR HUGO WITH THAT THING." I heard Mike shout behind me, but too late, whatever it was, it made Hugo freak out. He took a jump to the side, Marcie dropped the web lead of the grey horse, but the girl catched it before he had the time to run away again.

"Whoa boy, whoa boy," Marcie tried to stay calm, but there was a shiver in her voice, and when Hugo almost looked like he was tap- dancing. Marcie fell off, but landed on her feet, but lost her grip of her web lead, he kept on throwing his head back and forward, and seemed like a tap- dancing horse.

"Whoa boy," Marcie talked calming with Hugo. "Whoa boy, no one´s gonna hurt you. Whoooa." At last, Hugo calmed down, he stood still and lowered his head.

"Good boy," Marcie took the web lead. Then she turned around towards the girl with the grey horse.

"Get away from him with that thing." Marcie fizzled. "He´s afraid of them and you know it."

"Whatever." The girl reached the thing to one of her friends, and fizzled back to Marcie.

"If you ever go near Sherry again Taylor…" she didn´t finish the sentence. Marcie had stopped glaring at the girl. She looked down to the ground, and patted Hugo on his neck.

**Mr. Schue pov **

I walked over to Marcie, and patted her shoulder.

"Hey… you´re okay?" I asked, she nodded.

"Yeah, yeah, that was only Kiana Hemmon. Lima´s most spoiled teenager I´d guess."

"Thomas Hemmon?"

"Her father, of course, her mum left when she was a baby, and he´s got money so… She´s also extremely rude, and not very talented, though her horse, that grey one is! They always seem to win… I´ve been horse riding much, much longer than her… I just wanna beat her, just once." I patted Marcie´s shoulder again, and together, we started walking towards the parking lot again.

**Lex pov**

"What was that thing Hugo was afraid of?" Ben asked Marcie.

"A whip, Hugo´s old owner, he used to abuse Hugo. It took me almost three months to gain his trust enough to ride him. But he´s still afraid of whips, and a few other things."

"So… you were abused huh? Then we´ve got something in common. " I talked to Hugo in a low voice, and scratched his forehead. "But guess what? Even if it may not always seem like it, people are pretty nice creatures." Hugo bumped his head slightly into my chest, I backed, scared.

"Don´t be scared Lex, that means he likes you." Marcie said with a smile. I smiled too, and kept on scratching Hugo´s forehead.

**So, I´m stopping right there. Well, that´s the 60:th chap of this story, Hurrah. Well whatever. Bye to next time. **


	61. Competition

**So, there´s four new ones of these "actors that looks like characters" on my profile, one of them is for Tyler, another one for James, the third one for Vie, and the fourth for a man that´s a part of another story. But… go check Tyler, James and Vie out…. Hmm, I actually managed to make James and Tyler look kinda like each other. **

There were three parts of competitions that Saturday, first the dressage part. There were fifteen competes, Marcie had number thirteen, her lucky- number she claimed! Half an hour after the last contestant in the dressage, the jumping started. Then there was an one and a half hour break. And then at last, there was a terrain jumping- part.

The dressage started at eleven, so I couldn´t really understand why we had had to be there at nine in the morning. But none of us complained, it was fun being here. Hugo was in the transport, with the doors on it opened. He chewed on hay, and looked to every person who walked by without scratching him as if he wanted to say "What are you doing… so rude coming walking by without giving me a treat" Marcie was nervous, she walked the program for the dressage part over and over again. Back and forth, right left, diagonal, walking, jogging, running. She did it over and over and over again, all until Mike stood up, pulled her to sit down on a plastic chair he had brought, and gave her some water.

There hadn´t been any snow falling yet, and today was a cold, but a sunny and nice day, so it worked fine sitting on the grass out on the meadow talking. Liam and Mariah had had a few blankets in their car, so Liam and Mariah had one wrapped around them both, Tyler had one, Ethan one, and I and Tyler one. Ben was with Marcie. We were talking when someone spoke in the loudspeakers around the arena, that the competition would start in half an hour.

"Come on, we´ll go get some good seats," I heard Mr. Schue´s voice behind us, Ben, Mike and Marcie´s mum Lily stood next to him. I took the blanket I and Tyler had and folded it, then I reached it to Liam, who took all of the blankets, and then ran to the car and laid them there, before running after us.

"We got some good seats, pretty close to the arena, when it still was fifteen minutes to go before the competition started. We were talking, until one of the judges came walking out on the arena.

"Ladies and gentlemen!" he began… how original. "I wanna thank you all for coming here today. And… that was all that I needed to say, so let the competition begin." He walked back to the judge´s table and sat down. The judges were three persons, I recognized none of them. The one who just had been talking was a man, probably in his mid- forties. The second one was a woman, also in her mid- forties, and the last one was a younger man, probably in his mid – twenties. The younger man leaned forward to his microphone.

"So, I´m Luke Terry, and I´ll present the competes in this part of the competition, first out, we´ve got Sean Moraiety on Teddy." Luke leaned backwards again and Sean, a boy, perhaps around like thirteen to fourteen years old, ride out on the arena, on a black horse. He lowered his head, and touched the peak of his helmet slightly, before starting the program.

My chin dropped more and more as Sean did the program, it truly was beautiful. I had spent the last few days, trying to get a hang on what the program´s should look like, and what mistakes that were the usual ones. But Sean seemed to do it all perfectly, from the beginning, until the end, when he ride out of the arena.

And it kept on, none of the next one was as good as the first one…. Paige Wilson on Rock ´n´ roll number three... number eight another boy. Dennis Martin on Champ, the girl on the grey horse, was number ten. Kiana Hemmon on Hemmon´s Sherry Pop, they did the program well, but it was clear that the horse was a lot more talented than the girl… and then.

"Riding as number thirteen, Marcie Taylor on Hughton´s Herrey." Luke said in the loudspeaker.

Marcie did the program perfectly, it was clear that she and Sean would end up in the top in this part of the competition. There were only two competes after Marcie, and that was the end of that part. We all stood up, and walked away from the arena to find Marcie. We found her by the transport of course, she was leaning against it, Hugo was drinking water out of a bucket, while Marcie scratched his neck. When Hugo looked up a little, Marcie gave him a few bits of a carrot.

"You did awesome." Liam said. Marcie shook her head.

"Nah, Hugo did it awesome, I just screwed everything up."

"No you didn´t." Mike said. "You really did awesome." Marcie shrugged, and sat down on the ground.

"I thought about a thing." Mariah spoke. "Isn´t Hugo actually a bit too big for you?" Marcie looked up to Mariah, and nodded.

"Yeah, I guess he is. When… we… we were gonna… we searched for a horse for me… or pony more likely, and then, we had been outside town and looked at one. And then we spotted Hugo in a pasture next to the road, and he was just… like so skinny, I could seriously see all of his ribs, and so dirty, and he didn´t even have any grass to eat, and no water either, and I forced mum to stop the car, and then I got out, and walked over to the pasture, and held out a carrot. Hugo came really slowly over to me, and then I saw he had half- healed wounds on his back and sides, so… I just told my mum, that we needed to save him. And… so we did."

"How long has it been since you found him?" Liam asked.

"Almost two years, he was very scared in the beginning, but… as you can see… now he´s the sweetest boy in the world… are you Hugo, are you boy? Yes you are."

"Well, I guess we should go back to our seats." Mr. Schue said after a while. "It´s only five minutes until the show jumping starts. We all stood up, wished Marcie good luck and walked over to the arena again.

And then it went on again, Marcie did really well in this part as well. And then there was a two hour- break before the last part, the terrain jumping. On the break, we all sat on the blankets the twins´ had brought, and ate whatever we had brought to eat. Laughing, talking, joking, when my phone began to ring. "Hidden number" read over the screen, and I knew exactly what was coming.

"Lex?"

"… Really… horses?" I heard the voice, I recognized immediately. I felt all the blood disappearing from my face. I looked around and spotted the boy in the crowds, but it was clear that he wasn´t alone this time. A woman stood by his side, also she with a hood pulled over her head and sunglasses.

"I´ve told you to stop calling me." I said. "And I want you do it now!" I hung up and put the phone back in my pocket. I looked back to the others, and acted like nothing had just happened. When it called again, I pulled it up and without looking on the screen I pressed the yes- button, and putt it to my ear, and then I almost shouted.

"WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU? I TOLD YOU TO STOP CALLING."

"Lex…" Gosh, Carole´s voice. "It´s me… are you okay?"

"Oh… ehrm… sorry Carole, I thought it was someone else."

"It´s okay… hey we were thinking about going bowling today, but if you wanna come we can do it tomorrow instead."

"Ehrm… no… you just go today." The others were standing up, so I figured out we were going to stand by the start line to the terrain jumping, after one of the judges had talked again, Sean Moraiety started as number one… and so it kept on yet again. Marcie started as number thirteen, and soon she had disappeared around the corner.

"Come on," I heard Mike. "We´ll go to the finish line and wait." We all turned around and walked about a hundred meters to the finishing line, and then we waited, Sean Moraiety was the first one two be visible, his parents started cheering, and a boy, about maybe three or four years old, which I guessed was Sean´s little brother started jumping up and down and clapping his hands.

"Go Sean, go Sean, go Sean." He shouted over and over again next to me, from what the mum said to him, I heard that his name was Gordon. When he looked around, I smiled at him, which got him talking to me.

"That´s my brother." Gordon said, then he looked back to Sean, who was just crossing the finish line, we cheered a bit as well. Sean got off Teddy, and turned to Gordon.

"Yaaaay" Gordon shouted.

"Yaaaay." Sean shouted back, and laughed, before walking out of sight, and then we waited, Paige Wilson on Rock ´N´ Roll was the next one to cross the finish line… and so it went on, all the way ´til we spotted Marcie, as number fourteen to cross the line.

"Come on Hugo." She almost shouted. "Come on boy, come on…. Good boy, whoa." That last was when she had crossed the line.

"And now?" Connor asked.

"And now we wait," Mike answered. "Then we go back to the arena, and then, they crown the three ones who got the highest points, first in dressage, then in show jumping, and then in terrain, and then they say in the loudspeakers which has got the highest points totally, all the winners get ribbons, and in the totally- part it´s up to tenth place."

We walked back to the arena, and waited… and waited…. And waited…. And waited, finally, all the fifteen competes ride out on the arena, where the judges already stood, they all had microphones around their heads and papers in their hands.

"So." The elder man of the judges said at first. "First I´ll bring up the dressage´s part third place, second and the winner. And on third place it Is Molly Waters on Reggie." The woman in the judges put a yellow ribbon on Reggie´s bridle, Molly smiled from ear to ear. Then the next one, the man spoke up again.

"And on second place… Marcie Taylor on Hughton´s Herrey." I and the others, cheered as much as we could when the woman put a red ribbon on Hugo´s bridle, and then it was time for the big moment.

"And the winner in the dressage part… is… Sean Moraiety on Teddy." Sean smiled, and patted Teddy´s neck when the woman put a blue ribbon on Teddy´s bridle. The woman walked back, and spoke up.

"I´ll present the winners for the show jumping part. And on third place, Sean Moraiety on Teddy." Sean smiled just as big to his third place, as to his one place, when he got a yellow ribbon from the elder man in the judges, to sit next to blue one on the bridle.

"And on second place… Dennis Martin on Champ." We cheered, when Champ and Dennis got a red ribbon, when the man catched his breath and opened his mouth, I bit my lip and held my breath in suspense.

"And the winner… of the show jumping part… is… Marcie Taylor on Hughton´s Herrey." Marcie smiled bigger than ever, when she had a blue ribbon next to the red one. Us others cheered so much we were jumping in our seats, the younger man spoke up.

"And I´ll present the winners for the terrain part. And on third place Marcie Taylor on Hughton´s Herrey." Now Marcie had one yellow, one red, and one blue ribbon on Hugo´s bridle.

"And on second place… Sean Moraiety on Teddy." We cheered for Sean again, and laughed. Now both he and Marcie had one ribbon of each color.

"And the winner in the terrain part… is… hold it…. Hold it… Paige Wilson on Rock and Roll." We cheered again, as the elder man put a blue ribbon on Rock ´N´ Roll´s bridle.

"And so," the elder man in the judges spoke up again "Now to the total points, and on this, we have ten ribbons… and on tenth place is Jacey Mac on Dragon" Jacey got a light- blue ribbon for her tenth place.

"And on ninth place, Abby Miller on Bruce." Abby got a gray Ribbon.

"And on eighth place Kia Mitchell on Lucy." Brown ribbon.

"And on seventh place Peyton Carter on Jody." Purple ribbon, but Jody threw her head so much back and forth, Luke could barely get it on the bridle.

"And on sixth place, Kiana Hemmon on Hemmon´s Sherry Pop." Kiana looked so angry, I was almost waiting for her to shout over the whole arena, guess she was used to coming in top three, oh, an she got a Green ribbon.

"And on fifth place Molly Waters on Reggie." Pink ribbon.

"And fourth place, Paige Wilson on Rock ´N´ Roll." White ribbon.

"Third place… Dennis Martin on Champ." Yellow ribbon again, now I held my breath again of the suspense, either Marcie or Sean would get the blue ribbon… who would it be?

"Second place… is… Marcie Taylor on Hughton´s Herrey." Marcie looked mostly chocked, and we almost exploded with cheering for her.

"And I guess you all have figured out who the winner is… and yes… the winner… is… Sean Moraiety on Teddy." Sean smiled from ear to ear, the top five made a lap of honor, with Sean first and Marcie right after.

"Come on." Mike said when they had ridden out of the arena, "We´ll go find Marcie." We all stood up, and hurried to the transport, where Marcie stood with her face buried in the fur of Hugo´s neck.

"It´s all right Marcie!" Ben said. "You´ll win the next time, don´t be sad."

"Sad?" she turned around towards us. "Sad? I beat Kiana Hemmon, with three places… haha, I´m so happy. And the only one who beat me, was Sean Moraiety, I could live with that, he´s really good. And really nice… no dad… no not like that, we´re just friends."

"Yeah, because you know." Liam said. "Your daughter´s in love with Ben… you know that Asian guy over there."

"Wait what?" Mike looked confused.

"No dad…. And Liam, stop that." I bit my lip not to laugh, and I noticed I wasn´t the only one, Marcie was red in the face, when she started making Hugo ready for the ride home.

**So… that´s it then… bye ´til next time. **


	62. Concert

**I got an A in English class, I got an A in English class, I got an A in English class… okay, sorry to brag… but I really did get an A in English class. **

_Ben, _**Marcie **_  
Is this the end of the moment or just a beautiful unfolding  
Of a love that will never be or maybe be  
_**Everything that I never thought could happen or ever come to pass and I wonder  
If maybe, maybe I could be all you ever dreamed, cause you are  
**_  
Tyler, _**Lex**_  
Beautiful inside, so lovely and I can't see why I'd do anything without you, you are  
_**And when I'm not with you, I know that it's true  
That I'd rather be anywhere but here without you**

Liam,

**Mariah**_  
Is this a natural feeling or is it just me bleeding  
All my thoughts and dreams in hope that you will be with me or  
_**Is this a moment to remember or just a cold day in December, I wonder  
If maybe, maybe I could be all you ever dreamed cause you are**

Ethan  
Beautiful inside, so lovely and I can't see why I'd do anything without you, you are  
And when I'm not with you, I know that it's true  
That I'd rather be anywhere but here without you

Ben  
Is this the end of the moment or just a beautiful unfolding of a love that will never be for you and me  
Cause you are

Tyler,

** Lex**_  
You're beautiful inside, you're so lovely and I can't see why I'd do anything without you, you are  
_**And when I'm not with you, I know that it's true  
That I'd rather be anywhere but here without you**

On Friday afternoon, I and the rest of the glee club had one last glee- practice before the concert. The song we had just rehearsed was our opening number. After all, we had four songs that were gonna be preform, first that opening number performed by me, Tyler, Liam, Mariah, Ben, Ethan and Marcie. Then the one who I had suggested, all these lives, performed by Aiden, Jasper and Johnny. Then "no air" performed by Anna, Amy, Hayley and Connor. Then Mr. Schue would say a few words, and then the ending number, and then Alice would have her speech Ethan was playing the guitar for the first two songs, he was also playing the piano for the third, and the last song we did acapella . It wasn´t anything big or long, it probably would take less than half an hour, but we kept it simple. Alice claimed, that that was what Josh would have wanted. She had told us others that Josh hated keeping still for long matters of times, and there for hated long numbers.

Now the second group, only boys got up on the stage, and then started performing their song.

_Aiden_** Jasper**_  
Doesn't come down when she calls,  
"It's time for breakfast."  
Momma can't get down those halls  
Fast enough to see  
_**Glass is sprayed across the floor  
From the broken window.  
She can't breathe anymore.  
Can't deny what we know.**

_Johnny  
They're gonna find you, just believe.  
You're not a person; you're a disease._

_Aiden, _**Johnny, **Jasper _  
All these lives that you've been taking,  
Deep inside, my heart is breaking.  
_**Broken homes from separation.  
Don't you know it's violation?  
**It's so wrong, but you'll see.  
Never gonna let you take my world from me.  
The world outside these walls may know you're breathing,  
But you ain't comin' in.  
You ain't comin' in.

_Aiden, _**Johnny**_  
Posters hung on building walls  
Of missing faces.  
_**Months go by without the cause,  
The clues, or traces.**

Jasper_  
They're gonna find you, just believe.  
You're not a person; you're a disease._

_Aiden, _**Jasper, **Johnny_  
All these lives that you've been taking,  
Deep inside, my heart is breaking.  
_**Broken homes from separation.  
Don't you know it's violation?  
It's so wrong, but you'll see.  
Never gonna let you take my world from me.  
The world outside these walls may know you're breathing,  
But you ain't comin' in.**

_Johnny  
Shed the light on all the ones who never thought they would become  
A father, mother asking why this world can be so cold._

_Aiden  
Doesn't come down when she calls,  
"It's time for breakfast."  
The memories begin to fall.  
She asks, "When will I be free?"_

_Johnny  
All these lives that you've been taking,  
Deep inside, my heart is breaking.  
Broken homes from separation.  
Don't you know it's violation?  
It's so wrong, but you'll see.  
Never gonna let you take my world from me.  
The world outside these walls may know you're breathing,  
But you ain't comin' in._

_Jasper, _**Aiden**_  
All these lives that you've been taking,  
Deep inside, my heart is breaking.  
All these lives that you've been taking,  
Deep inside, my heart is breaking.  
All these lives that you've been taking,  
__**Deep inside, my heart is breaking.  
The world outside these walls may know you're breathing,  
The world outside these walls may know you're breathing,  
But you ain't comin' in**_**.**

For the song that Anna, Amy, Hayley and Connor was singing, Connor did all the male´s parts, of the song that originally was a duet, and the girls´ who currently wasn´t singing their solo, did the background singing.

Hayley_  
Tell me how I'm supposed to breathe with no air_

_If I should die before I wake  
It's 'cause you took my breath away  
Losing you is like living in a world with no air  
Oh_

_Connor _  
_I'm here alone, didn't wanna leave  
My heart won't move, it's incomplete  
Wish there was a way that I can make you understand_

_Anna _  
_But how do you expect me  
to live alone with just me  
'Cause my world revolves around you  
It's so hard for me to breathe_

_Amy, _**Connor, **Both  
_Tell me how I'm supposed to breathe with no air  
Can't live, can't breathe with no air  
It's how I feel whenever you ain't there  
It's no air, no air  
_**Got me out here in the water so deep  
Tell me how you gonna be without me  
If you ain't here, I just can't breathe  
**It's no air, no air

_Teeghan _  
_No air, air  
No air, air  
No air, air  
No air, air_

_Connor_  
_I walked, I ran, I jumped, I flew  
Right off the ground to float to you  
There's no gravity to hold me down for real_

_Teeghan_  
_But somehow I'm still alive inside  
You took my breath, but I survived  
I don't know how, but I don't even care_

_Hayley_  
_So how do you expect me  
to live alone with just me  
'Cause my world revolves around you  
It's so hard for me to breathe_

_Amy  
Tell me how I'm supposed to breathe with no air  
Can't live, can't breathe with no air  
It's how I feel whenever you ain't there  
It's no air, no air_

_Connor_  
_Got me out here in the water so deep  
Tell me how you gonna be without me  
If you ain't here, I just can't breathe  
It's no air, no air_

Anna and Connor, **Anna**  
_No air, air  
No air, air  
No air, air_  
**No air**

"good guys," Mr. Schue came down on the stage. "Only the rehearsal of the ending number left, and then you can go eat." We rehearsed the ending number, which had got some choreography, after we had finished, we all walked to the choir room, and grabbed the dinner, we had all brought for ourselves.

"By the way Alice," Liam spoke up. "Have you´ve got a plan on what to say in your speech?"

"No." Alice answered.

"Really why not?" Alice sighed.

"Because when I say something, I wanna say it directly from my heart, and not just read it from a script." Liam nodded, then Alice walked over with her dinner to where Teeghan, Amy and Anna sat. Liam came over to me, Tyler, Connor, Marcie, Mariah, Ben and Ethan.

"So," Liam began. "What you all doing this weekend?"

"Vie´s leaving for Nashville tomorrow morning, with the train, Blaine´s going with her to settle in. But we´re all gonna go to the train station. And then… I don´t know. What ´bout you?"

"Me and Ethan are going on a two- day- course, about how you discover the most common diseases, and how you do first aid to them, or if someone´s hurt… you get it." I nodded, and then leaned back to listen to the others. Mariah was doing more research about if any place had both a doctors´ college, and a musical college in the same place. Ben and Marcie had homework, Tyler was gonna sleep until about two in the afternoon every day, and Connor were going to a playing center with his family.

After we had sat there talking for a while, Mr. Schue came into the choir room.

"Come on then guys it´s time." We all stood up, and walked out to the auditorium.

"What if nobody comes?" Alice was really nervous I could tell

"There´s someone here, I can hear them." Liam said, and it was true, when we came into the back of the audiotourium, Marcie sneaked out to look if there had come around, and when she came back, she was almost jumping of nervousness and excitement.

"The auditorium's all full, and there are people standing because there´s not enough chairs." She whispered.

"Really?" Alice asked, Marcie nodded. And then, it was time for the opening number. Ben, Marcie, I, Tyler, the twins and Ethan walked out of the stage, and then it was time to begin.

Our number went perfectly fine, and while the audience were still clapping, we half- ran out of the stage to make room for the second number, also this went perfectly fine, as well as the third song, and then we all walked out on the stage, and stood behind Mr. Schue, as he took a microphone, and started speaking.

"Every year…" he began. "Between 700 000 and 800 000 people disappear… just in the US. You may think, that this is what happens to others, not to me, not to my friends. That was also what I used to think, and then it happened to one of my students. This concert is held tonight, so maybe one of you here, can help the Harper´s find their son, and little brother. And, you who were here for sectionals, you did a good job, we managed to get in…" Gosh, why is Mr. Schue telling this now, he hadn´t even told us in glee club yet. "Forty six thousand, three hundred, and twenty seven dollars, for the police´s work with children stuck with abusive parents. And today… I want you all to give, because every penny make a difference, and it can be the one you´re giving that makes the difference between life and death for a missing child." The audience clapped for Mr. Schue as we started preparing for the last song.

(Tyler)I can't win, I can't reign  
I will never win this game  
(Ben)Without you, without you  
(Amy)I am lost, I am vain,  
I will never be the same  
(Ben)Without you, without you

(Liam)I won't run, I won't fly  
I will never make it by  
(Mariah)Without you, without you  
(Connor)I can't rest, I can't fight  
All I need is you and I,  
Without you, without yo

(Everyone from the first verse)Oh oh oh!  
You! You! You!  
Without...  
You! You! You!  
Without...you

(Marcie, _Anna)_Can't erase, so I'll take blame  
But I can't accept that we're estranged  
Without you, _without you_  
(Lex)I can't quit now, this can't be right  
I can't take one more sleepless night  
(Hayley)Without you, without you

(Teeghan) I won't soar, I won't climb  
If you're not here, I'm paralyzed  
Without you, without you  
(Jasper)I can't look, I'm so blind  
I lost my heart, I lost my mind  
(Aiden)Without you, without you

(Everybody from the second verse)Oh oh oh!  
You! You! You!  
Without...  
You! You! You!  
Without...you

(Johnny)I am lost, I am vain,  
I will never be the same  
Without you, without you  
(Alice) Without...you

The audience gave us the biggest applause of the day, and soon everybody even were on their feet, as we bowed, with our arms around the shoulders at those next to us, before everyone except Alice took a few steps back and sat down in the stairs on the stage, as Alice started speaking.

"Hi… I´m Alice Harper… Josh is my little brother… ehrm," Alice was really nervous, she was shaking where she stood. "My little brother, who you see here behind me, is missing, he´s been missing since December, when he and mum were on the mall for some Christmas shopping…. I love my brother, more than anything in the world… and that´s why I´m now asking you, that if you know something, please call one of those numbers you see here behind me. Because… then I maybe can have my brother back. There is a special song, that Josh loves, and I´m gonna sing it to you now, because… when I sing it… sometimes, I just feel like I´m closer to him." Damn, what was this, we hadn´t known about Alice singing something." But apparently, Mr. Schue did, because he went to turn the music on, and then it started.

_We're walking in the air  
We're floating in the moonlit sky  
The people far below are sleeping as we fly_

_We're holding very tight  
I'm riding in the midnight blue  
I'm finding I can fly so high above with you_

_Far across the world  
The villages go by like dreams  
The rivers and the hills  
The forest and the streams_

_Children gaze open mouthed taken by surprise  
Nobody down below believes their eyes_

_We're surfing in the air  
We're swimming in the frozen sky  
We're drifting over icy mountains floating by_

_Suddenly swooping low on an ocean deep  
Rising up a mighty monster from its sleep_

_We're walking in the air  
We're dancing in the midnight sky  
And everyone who sees us greets us as we fly_

When she stopped singing, there was louder, more clapping then earlier this evening. People started going out of the hall, But I stayed, I sat there, with my elbows on my knees. Tyler asked if I wouldn´t come, but I just told him to go, I needed to be alone for a minute. He nodded, and soon I was alone in the audiotourium, for a while at least, Mr. Schue must have seen the lights were still on.

"Lex?" He came walking from the back. "Is everything all right?" He sat down next to me.

"Yeah… yeah… I just…"

"Then why are you crying?" I hadn´t even noticed I was crying, but I actually was, salt tears were slowly streaming down my cheeks. I stroke them away with the back of my hand.

"Walking in the air must be a really popular children´s song." I said. "More popular than I thought… I used to sing it to Maddie… while fantasizing about flying over the seas, away from everything Oh god." I scratched my eyes. "There´s been years… I must get over this… " Mr. Schue patted my shoulder.

"Though.." I continued… "When I lived with Brian, sometimes, I didn´t think about Maddie for days in a row… and every time I did, I just pressed the thought aside, and forced myself not to think about her." Mr. Schue nodded. I continued. "So why am I thinking so much about her now?"

"I think you just said it yourself, you never got a chance to work with it until now." Mr. Schue said. I nodded, and then remembered Carole had given me not long ago. I smiled slightly, stood up, and said.

"I´d probably get home, it´s Vie´s last evening here." Mr. Schue nodded, and turned out the lights behind us.

**The songs are anywhere alsy but here, by safesuit, all these lives by Daughtry, no air by Jordin parks feat. Chris Brown, without you by David Guetta feat. Usher, and walking in the air, whom I´m not sure who did it... but you should really listen to Declan Galbraith´s version.  
**


	63. Let her go

**Come on, where is everybody?  
There is a new one of those Actor/character- links on my profile, this time… Maddie.  
And… I don´t know much about the climate in Ohio, so… I just make it the way it suits the story- lines. **

There were falling sleet from the skies, big heavy snowflakes that melted almost as soon as they reached the ground. And though that fact, it created a really thin layer of sleet on the road, that of course, made the road really slippery. When I reached the right driveway, I had already slipped enough to fall twice, and I would probably have a large bruise in an unmentionable place pretty soon.

"Hey guys."

"Hello Lex." Came from different angles in the living room. I walked into the living room, and sat down in the sofa, on the table stood bowls with crisps and sweets, and bottles with Fanta and cola, everything was done and bought because tomorrow morning, we would go to the train station early In the morning, and wave Vie and Blaine off.

The rest of the evening, I, Vie, Blaine and Kurt sat in the living room, talking, laughing, listening to and playing music, and of course eating, Burt and Carole were also doing that for a couple of hours, but decided to leave "us kids." Alone.

**Some hours later, Carole pov **

"It´s been quiet in the living room for a while, don´t you think?" I asked Burt, when it started drawing close to midnight. Burt yawned, and nodded.

"I´ll go check on them." I said, stood up and walked over the living room. What I saw was a so fun sight, I had to go get the camera, and tell Burt to come and see this, I walked over to the room where he sat.

"Burt… come on you gotta see this." I said in a low voice. He looked a bit confused, but pushed his chair backwards, and stood up while I got the camera. When we got into the living room again, we both had to bite our lips not to laugh and possibly wake them up.

Of course, the fact that they all four had fallen asleep wasn´t fun in itself, the fun part was how they had fallen asleep. Kurt and Vie had fallen asleep in each couch, no strange with that, but next to the couch Kurt had fallen asleep in, laid Blaine, the whole of his tall self- on the floor, but I´d have to admit, the way Lex had fallen asleep, set the record. She was lying on her stomach, on the back of the sofa… on top of it. I smiled, and took the photos I wanted, luckily, they had fallen asleep with the light on, so the flash wasn´t needed.

"We should probably put a mattress on the floor next to the sofa, so Lex don´t hurt herself in case she falls down.

"We… should." Burt seemed to almost be sleeping at this moment, I hit his head slightly.

"Come on… get the inflatable mattress and blow it up . I´ll get covers and pillows for them all." Burt nodded and walked over to the garage, I could only lift one duvet at the time, so I started with getting Vie´s covers and pillow. When I came downstairs again, I lifted Vie´s head carefully and tucked the pillow in under her head, before I laid the covers over her. Then I got Kurt´s, then Blaine´s. I wouldn´t wanna risk putting any covers over Lex before Burt had put that mattress on the floor, in case she´d move when I put the covers over her. A few minutes later, Burt came with the mattress, and I pulled the covers over her.

Burt seemed to have kind of a hard time keep standing, and I was tired to, so I grabbed him by the shoulders and together we walked upstairs, after I had turned off the lights off in the living room.

**Early morning, Lex pov**

I groaned, and started moving, suddenly I felt myself falling from something, but before I had the time to get scared, I landed on my side on a mattress behind the couch. I turned on my back, and then I remembered today was the day Vie was leaving.

_Well you only need the light when it's burning low  
Only miss the sun when it starts to snow  
Only know you love her when you let her go_

_Only know you've been high when you're feeling low  
Only hate the road when you're missin' home  
Only know you love her when you let her go  
And you let her go_

I stood up, and looked around the room. On the table stood the glasses and bowls from yesterday evening. Vie and Kurt were asleep in each sofa, Blaine was sleeping on the floor, I sat down on the mattress again, and laid on my back.

_Staring at the bottom of your glass  
Hoping one day you'll make a dream last  
But dreams come slow and they go so fast_

She had changed so much since I met her on that bench outside that bench, but if I closed my eyes, I could still see that scared little girl.

_You see her when you close your eyes  
Maybe one day you'll understand why  
Everything you touch surely dies_

_But you only need the light when it's burning low  
Only miss the sun when it starts to snow  
Only know you love her when you let her go_

I could hear Kurt and Blaine waking up and walking upstairs, they hadn´t seemed to see that I was awake, and they didn´t turn the light on.

_Only know you've been high when you're feeling low  
Only hate the road when you're missin' home  
Only know you love her when you let her go_

Vie got up too, and Burt and Carole walked past, but I just kept on staring into the ceiling, I thought about how empty it would feel here when Vie had left.

_Staring at the ceiling in the dark  
Same old empty feeling in your heart  
'Cause love comes slow and it goes so fast_

I remembered what I had dreamed tonight, I had dreamt this dream loads of times, but usually the one running in front of me, this time it had been Vie. She was running in a forest, I ran behind her, trying to catch up, but she ran too fast, when I was close enough to touch, I stretched out my hand, and then I woke up.

_Well you see her when you fall asleep  
But never to touch and never to keep  
'Cause you loved her too much  
And you dived too deep_

_I got up, did what I was supposed to do, ate breakfast, brushed my teeth, etcetera. _

_Well you only need the light when it's burning low  
Only miss the sun when it starts to snow  
Only know you love her when you let her go_

"Vie?" I took my, when- I get- away- from- my- dad- list, and walked over to Vie. I asked her if she agreed on me crossing the "helping a child stuck with abusive parents" thing. She agreed, and I crossed it.

_Only know you've been high when you're feeling low  
Only hate the road when you're missin' home  
Only know you love her when you let her go_

We packed into Burt´s minibus, us six, and Vie and Blaine´s bags. Before Burt drove us towards the train station.

_And you let her go  
And you let her go  
Well you let her go_

_Vie and Blaine were on the train, Vie was leaning out the window, and I was running next to it, holding to Vie´s hand. _

_'Cause you only need the light when it's burning low  
Only miss the sun when it starts to snow  
Only know you love her when you let her go_

"I love you" I shouted.

_Only know you've been high when you're feeling low  
Only hate the road when you're missin' home  
Only know you love her when you let her go_

"What?" she shouted back.

_'Cause you only need the light when it's burning low  
Only miss the sun when it starts to snow  
Only know you love her when you let her go_

"I SAID I LOVE YOU." I shouted at the top of my lungs.

_Only know you've been high when you're feeling low  
Only hate the road when you're missin' home  
Only know you love her when you let her go_

The train was going too fast, I couldn´t run any faster, and when Vie´s hand slid out of mine, I had to stop running

_And you let her go_


	64. Unknown

That Tuesday, we were all gathered in the choir room again, and it was time for Mr. Schue to once again tell us what this week´s theme.

"There is a theme I´ve wanted to have for quite some time now." He said. "But something else have always happened, so we´d have to go on another theme. This week´s theme, is for you to do songs that are pretty unknown, songs that you don´t think that the others have heard."

"Mr. Schue?" Ben spoke up. "If… If I can lend a guitar, I can perform a song now. I… I think it´s right for the assignment." Mr. Schue nodded, and one of the boys in the bend lend Ben a guitar, Ben himself jumped up and sat on the piano. He took a few chords on the guitar, and I couldn´t help but notice that his hands were shaking a bit, as if he was nervous, and then he started.

_Have you ever done something you can't change  
Something you can never rearrange  
I have, I have  
Have you ever been so sad you can hardly stand  
Lying on the ground, head in your hands  
I have, I have_

_I can feel it all down deep inside  
But oh, I wanna let these feelings rise_

_But boys don't cry, boys don't cry  
I know it would be fine  
But boys don't cry_

_Have you ever tried smile and hide your pain  
Even though you're really not okay  
I have, I have  
Have you ever been caught in the pouring rain  
Wondering if anything can ever feel the same, again_

_You try to be proud of who you are  
But still, you've gotta let those teardrops fall, away_

_But boys don't cry, boys don't cry  
I know it would be fine  
But boys don't cry_

_Whoah, whoah, boys don't cry, boys don't cry  
Whoah, whoah, boys don't cry, boys don't cry_

_Have you ever done something you can't change  
Something you can never rearrange  
I have, I have  
Have you ever been so sad you can hardly stand  
Lying on the ground, head in your hands  
I have, I have_

_Whoah, whoah, boys don't cry, boys don't cry_

During this song, Ben had sung, played the guitar, and played the harmonica. He had laid the guitar down on the piano behind him, and he now lowered the harmonica, and the room had gone dead silent. Ethan stroke his chin.

"What´s going on Ben?" he asked, clearly distressed about the song that Ben had chosen to sing.

"What do you mean what´s going on? I just really like that song, and it´s quite an unknown song so…"

"Ben, I´ve known you for all your life, I know how to tell when something´s wrong, and I´ve never seen you like this, so something needs to be very wrong."

"Like what?"

"Well I don´t know if you won´t tell me."

"WELL THEN YOU WON´T KNOW EITHER." Ben jumped down from the piano, and stormed out of the room.

"I´ll go aft…" Ethan stood up, but Mr. Schue pulled him down again.

"No, don´t press him. He´ll tell you when he´s ready." Ethan nodded, and then it went dead silent again, none of us had ever seen Ben like that before.

"Glee club´s cancelled for today, see you all on Thursday."

He said on Thursday, but on Wednesday, we all got the same message from Hayley.

"Extra glee club, gonna preform one song, need to do it today, see you in the choir room."

During that day, I tried to find Hayley to ask her what was going on, but she was nowhere to be found, a teacher told me that she had stayed home, so I guessed she was gonna come for the afternoon, and I had been right, when I walked into the choir room that afternoon, Amy, Anna, Teeghan, Ethan, Mariah and Liam were already there on each chair, Hayley sat on the piano- chair, with her back against me. I walked over to her.

"Hey… what´s going on?" I leaned against the piano.

"I don´t wanna explain more than once, I´ll explain when everybody´s here. I nodded and sat down on one of the chairs. And then they all dropped in, one after one. Tyler, Marcie, Jasper, Ben, Aiden. When Mr. Schue, who was the last one to arrive had sat down, Hayley stood up and turned towards us.

"Dad´s in hospital now…. He… he´s not gonna come home." Hayley´s voice broke, and if possible the room went even more silent than it had yesterday.

"Hayley…" Mr. Schue began, but she interrupted.

"I wanna preform that song, one of the verses is something I can remember clearly, one we´ll never have, and the third is soon to come." She sat down by the piano, and started playing.

_Wind blowin' on my face  
Sidewalk flyin' beneath my bike  
A five year-old's first taste  
Of what freedom's really like  
He was runnin' right beside me  
His hand holdin' on the seat  
I took a deep breath and hollered  
As I headed for the street_

_You can let go now, Daddy  
You can let go  
Oh, I think I'm ready  
To do this on my own  
It's still a little bit scary  
But I want you to know  
I'll be ok now, Daddy  
You can let go_

_I was standin' at the altar  
Between the two loves of my life  
To one I've been a daughter  
To one I soon would be a wife  
When the preacher asked,  
'Who gives this woman?'  
Daddy's eyes filled up with tears  
He kept holdin' tightly to my arm  
'Till I whispered in his ear_

_You can let go now, Daddy  
You can let go  
Oh, I think I'm ready  
To do this on my own  
It still feels a little bit scary  
But I want you to know  
I'll be ok now, Daddy  
You can let go_

_It was killin' me to see  
The strongest man I ever knew  
Wastin' away to nothin'  
In that hospital room  
'You know he's only hangin' on for you'  
That's what the night nurse said  
My voice and heart were breakin'  
As I crawled up in his bed, and said_

_You can let go now, Daddy  
You can let go  
Your little girl is ready  
To do this on my own  
It's gonna be a little bit scary  
But I want you to know  
I'll be ok now, Daddy  
You can let go  
You can let go_

I swear, right now, there was not a dry eye in the whole room.

"Hayley…" Mr. Schue began again, but she was already on her way out of the room. "Well… that was pretty overwhelming… " My phone beeped. It was another text message from Hayley.

_Going home, please let me be. _

"She´s going home, she wants to be alone." I said, and put my phone back in my pocket. I could see Mr. Schue nodding.

"Mr. S?" Alice spoke up. "Can I preform the song I want to…"

"Sure Al´" Alice stood up, leaned against the piano and started singing.

_Let the sun refuse to shine  
It won't be long before the days are brighter  
If every step's an uphill climb  
Carry on until they feel much lighter_

_For all the clouds up in the sky  
For all the teardrops in our eyes  
It can get only get better  
Be still my heart  
It can only get better  
We've come this far  
It can only get better_

_I know it hurts  
For what it's worth  
It can only get better_

_If he should ever come our way  
Dry the tears and look somewhere above him  
Might be easier to say than to do  
But just pretend that you no longer love him_

_When your back's against the ropes  
When you miss someone the most_

_It can get only get better  
Be still my heart  
It can only get better  
We've come this far  
It can only get better_

_I know it hurts  
For what it's worth  
It can only get better_

_I know it hurts  
For what it's worth  
It can only get better_

_I know it hurts  
For what it's worth  
It can only get better_

Mr. Schue cleared his throat.

"I want to say to anyone, who ever need someone to talk to, the door to my office is always open. Glee- club´s over for today, see you tomorrow."

Yeah right! The next day it was snowing so much, I could barely see a meter from the windows when I looked outside, and the whole day I sat in the window, being grumpy about that I didn´t get a chance to either meet Tyler, OR preform the song I had trained in.

The next day the snow had stopped falling, and it was gone from the roads, so it was school again, I text- messaged the others in New Directions about being in the audiotourium after school, and when it was time, I started preforming the song, and also I was playing the violin for the intro.

_I want to be admitted, please. There's a crazy boy following me._

_It started with a call I stupidly answered  
You said you got my number from one of the dancers  
You waited right outside, you had something on mind  
But then I saw your eyes, your crazy eyes_

_Now you got me into something very sick and twisted  
An evil kind of game I didn't know existed  
You traveled overseas to terrorize me  
And I don't understand, why can't you let me be?_

_Believe me when I say, you stupid fool!  
You're scaring me to death, that's not cool!  
Why won't you leave me alone?  
Just leave me alone!  
You're crazy, leave me alone!_

_I´m begging you to stop and think this through  
It's time you started playing with someone new  
Why won't you leave me alone?  
Just leave me alone!  
You're crazy, leave me alone!_

_You're scaring mom and dad, scaring off my boyfriend  
You're waiting by my door early in the morning  
I've told you many times, don't follow me at night  
You're poisoning in my life, just tell me why!_

_Believe me when I say, you stupid fool!  
You're scaring me to death, that's not cool!  
Why won't you leave me alone?  
Just leave me alone!  
You're crazy, leave me alone!_

_I beg of you to stop and think this through  
It's time you started playing with someone new  
Why won't you leave me alone?  
Just leave me alone!  
You're crazy, leave me alone!_

_Believe me when I say, you stupid fool!  
You're scaring me to death, that's not cool!  
Why won't you leave me alone?  
Just leave me alone!  
You're crazy, leave me alone!_

_I´m begging you to stop and think this through  
It's time you started playing with someone new  
Why won't you leave me alone?  
Just leave me alone!  
You're crazy, leave me alone!_

I stopped singing, lowered the violin, and looked to the floor, when I heard someone step out of the curtains behind the scene, I looked up, and there he was, the same boy who had been following me all those times.

"Wow, you even sing to me… I´m honored." He said, and stopped where all the others could see him. "But… I was gonna tell you about who I am now anyways." The boy took his sun- glasses of, and took the hood off.

"No," I exclaimed. "No, nononono. It can´t be you. IT CAN´T BE YOU"

"And I´m not alone." The boy turned around half, and out of the curtains, came a woman, who I recognized too well. She had barely come out on the stage, when I ran forward, and forced her to the ground.

**Tyler pov **

I was already on my way up on the stage when Lex started fighting that woman. I took another step, I heard a few of the others coming up behind me, but I was the first one to Lex. I grabbed her around her waist and pulled her away from the woman.

"LET GO." Lex half fizzled half shouted. "LET GO…. NO TYLER. SHE´S MY MUM. AND HE´S MY BROTHER…" Lex struggled, it was getting hard to hold her, when she kicked her leg forward and then kicked, with all the power she had backwards... right in my groin. I let go, and fell to the floor, tumbling around and cursing of the pain, and when I got up again, Lex´s mum and brother were still standing there, but Lex was nowhere to be found

**So, then you know who the mystery boy, a picture on what he looks like is on my profile…. So what will happen now? Dun, dun, dun, duuuun. Did you figure out who the boy was?  
The songs used in this, are in order, Boys don´t cry (that´s not my opinion, it´s just a great song) by Ulrik Munther (woho, Sweden) You can let go now daddy (can´t even listen to that song myself, I´d start crying) Chrystal Shwanda, it can only get better by Amy Diamond (woho, Sweden) and Leave me alone by Alexander Rybak (Woho, Norway) **


	65. Maybe

**I´ve realized that there are often the same persons singing songs in ND, there´s Lex, Tyler, Tyler, Ethan, Ben and the twins. Of course, the others are there as well, but they just don´t mean too much for the storylines, the ones who are in this the least is Anna, Amy, Aiden and Jasper. And I´ll try to get them in a bit more, but as I said, they´ve got nothing to do with the storylines so… I can´t promise you anything.**

**Blaine pov **

"Yeah right." I joked with Kurt. "If you´re better than me than I´m as straight as a line." I got my bag out of my car, and turned my head a little, and that´s when I saw Lex coming running down the street, she was dressed in only a T- shirt and jeans, and her feet slipped on the icy road. Though she was running faster than I had ever seen her running before.

"Lex?" I heard Kurt say next to me, and as Lex came closer, I saw that something was clearly wrong.

"What´s wrong?" Kurt asked when she got closer.

"Lex…" I caught her when she slipped on the ground.

"LET GO OFF ME." She shouted as soon as she was on her feet, and she hit me slightly on every piece she could get. "LET GO, LET GO, LET GO I SAID."

"Blaine do as you´re told!" Kurt said. I let go and Lex kept on running into the house.

**Lex pov**

I didn´t know what I was doing, thoughts were spinning in my head so fast I couldn´t catch them. I just wanted to get upstairs as soon as possible, and without thinking, I hit the one who held me, I didn´t know if it was Kurt or Blaine, I just did it. And when he finally let go, I kept on running, into the house and upstairs. When I reached my room after what seemed like forever, I opened my wardrobe and pulled out the present I had gotten from Zeb for my birthday and ripped off the paper.

I had thought that it was some sort of framed picture in the parcel, and I had been right. It was a framed- and big drawing. He had probably dyed off a picture, and suddenly, I remembered the day it was shot, a day I had never dared to remember before.

**Flashback **

I sat in the window in the kitchen; it was snowing so much I could barely see the cars in the driveway, on the other side of the front yard. Someone opened the door to the house, a wind blew through the house. A shiver went through my body, and I pulled my hoodie closer around me, when Maddie came running into the kitchen.

"Lex! Lex! Look what mum bought for me! And we bought one for you too!" I jumped down from the window seal, and watched what mum had bought for her and for me. There were two necklaces in her hand. The charms on both of them, were both hearts that could be opened.

"And look, mum put photos in them too." Maddie opened hers, and showed the photo, a very small copy of the photo that had been shot on me, Zeb and Maddie when Maddie was a newborn baby. I opened mine, and realized it held the same photo. I opened it and put it around my neck, then I opened Maddie´s and helped her to put it on.

That night mum woke me up.

"Lex, Alexandria honey." I groaned, opened my eyes, and looked at mum. She held sleeping Zeb with the arm and hand she wasn´t trying to shake me with to wake me up.

"Alexandria, sit up for a minute." I sat up and mum sat down next to me. "I´m gonna go away. And I´m gonna need you to be a good girl and take care of Madelyn."

"I will mum, but I need to take care of Zeb as well."

"No, I´m taking Zebastian with me. Listen Alexandria, wherever you go, whatever happens, I need you to remember that I´ll always love you okay?"

"But why can´t I come with you, Zeb can!" Mum didn´t answer my question, she stood up with tear- filled eyes, and walked downstairs and out the door, I stayed at my bed for a while and then ran after her.

"MUM WHERE YOU´RE GOING?" I stayed in the front door and shouted.

"I DON´T KNOW!"

"WHEN ARE YOU COMING BACK?"

"I DON´T KNOW." Mum put Zeb in his seat in the car, and then walked around it.

"MUUUUUUUM."

"I LOVE YOU ALEXANDRIA"

**End of flashback**

I sighed, and twisted the chain in the necklace around my fingers, the same necklace that mum had given me that day.

"Love me my BUTT." I shouted and threw the necklace into the wall with all my power. The charm cracked into two pieces and fell to the floor. I walked over to it, and held it in my hand. I had broken it, I had broken the last thing mum gave to me. Ned was digging around in his hutch.

"Ned." I looked over to him. "You should be so glad you´ll never know who your parents or siblings are?" I looked down at the broken charm again, and then I couldn´t stop the tears from starting to stream down my cheeks. I fell to my knees, sobbing so hard I couldn´t breathe.

I barely reacted when the door to my room open, I looked up first when Blaine kneeled down next to me.

"It´s okay." He laid an arm around my shoulders and pulled me close. "It´s all right, Kurt´s called Carole, she´s gonna be home in a minute."

"I`m sorry I hit you. I´m sorry, I´m sorry, I´m sorry."

"It´s okay, it´s okay. Hey Lex look at me, breathe with me come on. Breathe in, breathe out." He started breathing slowly in and out. I did as I was told, and just as I had gotten some control of my breathing, Carole came half running up the stairs and into my room.

"What´s going on? Lex are you okay?" I nodded, got on my feet and sat down on the bed.

"It´s Zeb, the guy who´s been following me. And mum´s with him… Please don´t let her take me… p-p-please don´t let her…"

"No, no. We´re not letting anyone take you." Carole laid her arm around my shoulders and pulled me close. "We´re not letting anyone take you against your will okay?"

**Monday morning **

"Lex?" Zeb was following me to school, I walked ahead of him, I had already answered him no about a hundred times.

"No."

"Lex."

"No."

"Lex."

"I said no" I stopped in front of the school. "My day is starting now, I´m gonna leave my cellphone in my locker so there´s no point with calling. And just so you know, I don´t want to see either you or Katheryn…"

"Mum!"

"No… a mum wouldn´t do something like she did to me…. I don´t wanna see either you or Katheryn ever again!" I turned around and walked into the school- building. As I had said to Zeb, I left my phone in my locker, but just as I started closing it, I heard the phone beep from a text message.

_We´re gonna have glee- club- meetings every day this week, be in the choir room at four today.  
Mr. Schue _

I wondered why he had decided to have a glee- club- meeting every day this week. But I realized that I would get the answer later today, so I shook the thought off and didn´t think more about it until when I was in the choir room.

"So, glee- clubbers." Mr. Schue said when he came into the choir room. "You might wonder why I´ve chosen to have a rehearsal every day this week. And it´s because as I´ve understood it, a few of you have some different problems in your family, and I´m making this a week to sing songs about what you wanna say to your siblings, your parents or any other family member. You can go home now… unless anyone have a song to preform now."

"I´ve got one" Ben said. "I… I´m gonna let you figure out yourselves from the song… ehrm. He sat down by the piano and started playing.

_Maybe far away  
Or maybe real nearby  
He may be pouring her coffee  
She may be straightening his tie!  
Maybe in a house  
All hidden by a hill  
She's sitting playing piano,  
He's sitting paying a bill!  
Betcha they're young  
Betcha they're smart  
Bet they collect things  
Like ashtrays, and art!  
Betcha they're good  
Why shouldn't they be?  
Their one mistake  
Was giving up me!_

_So maybe now it's time,  
And maybe when I wake  
They'll be there calling me "Baby"  
Maybe.  
Betcha he reads  
Betcha she sews  
Maybe she's made me  
A closet of clothes!  
Maybe they're strict  
As straight as a line...  
Don't really care  
As long as they're mine!  
So maybe now this prayer is  
The last one of its kind  
Won´t you please come get your baby  
Maybe_

He stopped playing, Ethan stood up and walked over to his brother.

"Ben!" he began. "I want you to tell me what´s going on…" The room went all quiet while Ben was thinking.

"All right, you wanna know what´s wrong? I´ll go get it for you!" Ben stood up, walked out of the room, and a couple of minutes later, he came back with a bunch of papers in his hands he threw them all at Ethan, and then stormed out of the room. Ethan picked up one of the papers, and read on one of them.

"…You dumb Asian, you don´t deserve to be here. You don´t deserve to call your parents mum and dad, you don´t deserve to call Ethan your brother, you aren´t even brothers for real, you don't deserve your life at all. Go back to where you came from…" Ethan pressed his lips together, he was red in his face and shaking out of anger.

"Who…spread… that… Ben… is… adopted?" He said between his breaths. No one said a word.

"Whoever it was, you had no right. Ethan and I are brothers, and if someone here is writing those letters, I want you to stop it… now."

"Glee- club´s over for today, see you guys tomorrow." Mr. Schue said. "Ethan, come on, I´ll help you find Ben."

**So, that´s it for this time… family week is something I´ve been looking forward to write for a long time. It´s gonna be interesting, and very, very emotional. **


	66. Right here waiting

**Ethan pov**

"I… I just wanna know who they are you know… like, talk to them, ask them…" Ben stopped talking, we- I, Ben and Mr. Schue sat in a row of three chairs in the audiotourium, this was where Ben had went to after storming out of the choir room.

"Ask them what?" I ask, after almost ten seconds of silence.

"Why did they give me up?"

"Ben… I would love to have an answer for that." I said. "But I don´t. I´m sorry, but this thing I know, that my… our parents… they love you, just as much as they love me, to them, you´re their son just as much as I am…"

"Where do you wanna come Ethan?"

"Was it something we did wrong? Is there something you´re missing?"

"Guess not."

"So it´s… whoever they are, your biological parents… it´s their loss isn´t it?" Ben thought for almost two minutes before sighing.

"Yeah, I guess."

"That´s my brother… come on, we´ll go home."

"I promised Marcie I would come with her home today."

"Go on then." I took my bag and my coat from my locker before walking, Ben sure had spent loads of time at Marcie´s lately. And I´d have to admit,, I´d never seen Ben look at anyone with the same eyes as he looked at Marcie with.

I grabbed the post outside our driveway and riffled through the letter. Commercial, coupons, bin, bin, more commercial, bill, bill, nothing interesting until the last one. It was addressed to me, and it had a tag from University of Arizona college of medicine. I picked up my phone and called Liam.

**Liam pov **

"I really feel sorry for both Ben and Lex." Mariah said.

"So, those two there are who have got problems with their families, who more can it be?"

"Well, there´s Alice, her brother´s still missing and Hayley, because her dad´s dying, and Ethan of course, because he worries for Ben!"

"So that´s five, I just have a feeling we haven´t gotten all of them yet." Mariah opened our mailbox and got out the post, she riffled through them.

"And maybe we have some problems too." She said after I had turned around towards the house. I turned around again, and saw her holding two letters, one addressed to me, with a tag from University of Arizona college of medicine, and the other addressed to Mariah with a tag from San Francisco conservatory of music. I swallowed, I knew, she knew, it had been clear for a long time. But now it felt real for the first time, we were going to be split up for College.

I was awaken from my thoughts when my phone started ringing, ETHAN, read over the screen, I pressed the green button.

"Liam!"

"Have you gotten your letters from college?"

"Yes."

"Halfway?"

"Yes!" Ethan hung up.

"Ethan´s got his letter too, we´re meeting him halfway. I started running, and could soon hear Mariah coming after. Halfway between the Morison´s and us, was on top of a hill, where you could look over the whole town. Ethan was already there. When I and Mariah arrived we were out of breath, and it took a couple of minutes before we could breathe again. Then we took each letter, I looked to Mariah.

"You first!" She nodded, opened her letter, and got out the letter.

"I got in!" I couldn´t really tell if she was happy or not. Of course she was happy, but a small part of each of us had wished we wouldn´t get in, because then we wouldn´t be split up. I nodded.

"You next Ethan." I said, Ethan got out his letter and read.

"I got in." Now at least, if I got in, I wouldn´t be all alone. I opened my envelope and got out the letter.

"I got in."

**Lex pov, next day, glee club **

"You know!" Liam said, he was leaning against the piano, Mariah sat on the piano chair. "A part of each of us, is really, really happy that we both got in where we wanted. But at the same time… we don´t want to be split up. We´ve always been together."

"But at the other hand," Mariah said. "Maybe this is for the best, maybe we have to learn how to be independent. It´s just that, without each other, we feel so lost. And that´s why we´ve chose this song."

_Mariah _**Liam** Both  
_I know I can be a little stubborn sometimes  
You might say a little righteous and too proud  
I just want to find a way to compromise  
Cos I believe that we can work things out_

**I thought I had all the answers never giving in  
But baby since you've gone I admit that I was wrong**

All I know is I'm lost without you I'm not gonna lie  
How am I going to be strong without you I need you by my side  
_If we ever say we'll never be together and we ended with goodbye  
_don't know what I'd do _  
_I'm lost without you  
I keep trying to find my way but all I know is I'm lost without you  
I keep trying to face the day I'm lost without you

**How am I ever gonna get rid of these blues  
Baby I'm so lonely all the time  
Everywhere I go I get so confused  
You're the only thing that's on my mind**

_Oh my beds so cold at night and I miss you more each day  
Only you can make it right no I'm not too proud to say_

All I know is I'm lost without you I'm not gonna lie  
How am I going to be strong without you I need you by my side  
_If we ever say we'll never be together and we ended with goodbye  
_don't know what I'd do  
I'm lost without you  
I keep trying to find my way but all I know is I'm lost without you  
I keep trying to face the day I'm lost without you

If I could only hold you now and make the pain just go away  
Can't stop the tears from running down my face  
Oh

All I know is I'm lost without you I'm not gonna lie  
How am I going to be strong without you I need you by my side  
If we ever say we'll never be together and we ended with goodbye  
don't know what I'd do  
I'm lost without you  
I keep trying to find my way but all I know is  
I'm lost without you  
I keep trying to face the day  
I'm lost without you

They stopped singing, Mariah was crying, Liam seemed to have a hard time not to. He laid his arm around her shoulders and they walked back to their places. After a couple of minutes Alice stood up, she leaned against the piano, and started.

_Ocean's apart day after day  
And I slowly go insane  
I hear your voice on the line  
But it doesn't stop the pain_

_If I see you next to never  
How can we say forever_

_Wherever you go  
Whatever you do  
I will be right here waiting for you  
Whatever it takes  
Or how my heart breaks  
I will be right here waiting for you_

_I took for granted, all the times  
That I thought would last somehow  
I hear the laughter, I taste the tears  
But I can't get near you now_

_Oh, can't you see it baby  
You've got me going crazy_

_I wonder how we can survive  
This endurance  
But in the end if I'm with you  
I'll take the chance_

_Oh, can't you see it baby  
You've got me going crazy_

She stopped singing.

"As you probably noticed," she said. "I changed one word. And I…. I… no… oh gosh… the police is stopping with looking for Josh, and I just… I just feel like, this is it, no one´s ever gonna find him. B- b- but if he ever comes back, I´ll be right here for him. And I´ll never lose my hope… never." Alice´s voice broke. Teeghan stood up and embraced her, and one after one we all did the same, until we had created a big group hug in the middle of the choir room.

When I arrived home that day, Carole and Burt both sat by the kitchen table, I sat down on the kitchen couch next to Burt.

"We have done some research," Burt said. "About the adoption."

"Yeah?"

"We´re gonna need your mother´s permission to adopt you!" I laid forward and hit my forehead on the table. This couldn´t be happening. I turned around and saw Katheryn and Zeb standing on the road.

"Where´s the papers she´s gotta sign?" Carole reached me a paper, I took it and walked outside.

"Sign this line!" I pointed to the line Katheryn would have to sign. "Please Katheryn, please. It´s what I want."

"Adoption?" Katheryn said. "Katheryn? Why are you calling me Katheryn?"

"You´re not my mum. You didn´t do things a mum does. Now sign it."

"Can I think about it."

"Yes," without me noticing it. Burt and Carole had showed up behind me. "Take all the time you need."

"Oh great!" I said "Oh, now she´s never gonna sign that paper" I turned around and walked into the house again.

**The songs are lost without you by Delta Goodrem, and right here waiting for you... and I´d say it´s Richard MArx, but I´m not sure. **


	67. Family goes emotional

**I´m just gonna say this, so everyone understands, the fact that my profile says I´m from Great Britain, or Norway as it´s gonna show for a while is NOT your computers being completely weird and stupid. I am on a VACATION. I´ve been in Scotland, now in London, then I´m going to Norway, and we´re going by train, so the travels themselves take loads of time.  
I´m sorry for not updating in such a long time. When we got to Lofoten Islands in Norway, I´m sure I´ll have loads of inspiration, because it´s really a place with a pure beauty that gives me loads of inspiration. And except for visiting a couple of relatives, we´ve got nothing much planned, so for one and a half week I´m going to write, write and write. Hopefully.  
Anyway, enjoy. **

The next day was Wednesday, the whole glee- club sat in a circle on the stage in the audiotourium, Hayley was here too, because she was gonna perform a song along with Marcie. Mr. Schue had gone home to get some things he had forgotten, he would be back any minute now.

I looked around, Hayley I don´t think New Directions had ever been so quiet as we all were right now. No one said a word, there was nothing to say. I knew for a fact that the twins felt miserable, as well as Hayley, Marcie, Ben, Ethan, Alice and I, and the rest of New Directions felt miserable because everyone else did.

There was just a few looking up when we heard footsteps coming in from the back. I looked to the floor, when I heard Liam´s voice.

"Alice, isn´t that your brother?" I looked up. Alice sat with her back against where Mr. Schue had come onto the stage, with a boy we all recognized sitting on his hip.

"Yeah right." Alice said with an ironic tone in her voice, while I and all the others jumped up on our feet.

"ALICE TURN AROUND. JOSH´S THERE, TURN AROUND." Came from all different directions on the stage.

**Alice pov **

I knew they were all lying, they had to be. They wanted to have some laugh by making me believe Josh was behind me, and then laughing at it when I turned around, and there was no one there.

"SHUT UP." I shouted. "IF ANYONE ELSE TELLS ME JOSH´S BEHIND ME. I`M GONNA SMACK THAT PERSON RIGHT IN THE FA…" when another shout echoed through the hall, I stopped shouting.

"AAAAAALIFF" No, no, it couldn´t be him. But it was his voice, I spun around.

"JOSH." And yeah, it was Josh. Mr. Schue lifted him down on to the floor. I jumped up on my feet, almost blinded by tears of joy. But I didn´t dare to believe it, until I held Josh in my arms, and pulled him as close as I could. Then I knew it was true, Josh was right here, right in my arms.

"You´re okay, you´re okay." I sobbed over and over again.

**Lex pov **

If there had been a dry eye in the room before Mr. Schue came in with Josh, there sure wasn´t one now. I felt salt tears running down my cheeks, but not from sorrow this time. All of us had been very distressed and sad about the fact that one of us was missing a loved one. Especially since Josh is so young. It´s now clear that Josh´s been somewhere where he wasn´t treated well. He was dirty, his hair greasy, he had bruises on his right cheek and a black eye. And he was dressed in to big sweat pants and a hoodie that looked like maybe for nine or ten year olds. Not for a normal length six year old. The shoes he was wearing had holes, but apart from all this, he seemed to be all right. After a while, Alice sat down on the floor. Next to Josh who also sat down, and leaned against his sister as Alice pulled up her phone and called someone.

"Mum! Josh is here…. No he´s right here with me." Alice put her phone to Josh´s ear.

"Mum?... I love you too… okay… she wants to talk to you Aliff." The way he said Aliff was unbelievably cute.

"Yes?... I´m not sure… okay… see you." She hung up. "mum and dad are coming here." She turned to Mr. Schue. "They want to talk to the person who found Josh."

"So… I guess there are gonna be no songs…"

"YES THERE ARE." Hayley stood up. "Mr. Schue, I and Marcie got a song, and I´m not gonna be here tomorrow, or the next day. I need to do this now." It went all silent for a couple of seconds, and then.

"I want to hear it." Josh´s tiny voice broke the silence. Mr. Schue nodded, but instead of walking down and sit in the seats, we all sat down on the floor on the edge of the stage, while the music played, and Marcie started singing.

**Marcie**  
He drops his suitcase by the door  
She knows her daddy won't be back anymore  
She drags her feet across the floor  
Tryna hold back time to keep him holding on  
And she says

Daddy Daddy don't leave  
I'll do anything to keep you  
Right here with me  
Can't you see how much I need you  
Daddy Daddy don't leave  
Mommy's saying things she don't mean  
She don't know what she's talking about  
Somebody hear me out

Father  
Listen  
Tell him that he's got a home and he don't have to go  
Father save him  
I would do anything in return  
I'll clean my room  
Try hard in school  
I'll be good  
I promise you  
Father, Father  
I´ll pray to you

**Hayley **  
Now she hasn't slept in weeks  
She don't want to close her eyes  
cause she's scared that he'll leave  
They tried just about everything  
But it's getting harder now  
For him to breathe  
And she says

Daddy Daddy don't leave  
I'll do anything to keep you  
Right here with me  
Can't you see how much I need you  
Daddy Daddy don't leave  
The doctors are saying things they don't mean  
They don't know what they talking about  
Somebody hear me out

**Hayley, (Marcie)**  
Father  
(father)  
Listen  
(listen)  
Tell him that he's got a home and he don't have to go  
(don't have to go)  
Father  
(father)  
save him  
I would do anything in return  
I'll clean my room  
Try hard in school  
I'll be good  
I promise you  
Father, Father  
I pray to you

_Marcie_, Hayley, **Both **  
_Please don't let him go _  
(don't let him go)  
_I'm begging you so _  
(I'm begging you so)  
Let him open his eyes  
Need a little more time  
**To tell him that I love him more  
Than anything in the world  
**It´s daddy's little girl

_Marcie, _Hayley, **Both **  
_(Father  
listen  
Tell him that he's got a home and he don't have to go  
Father  
save him)  
_**I would do anything in return  
I'll clean my room  
Try hard in school  
I'll be good  
I promise you  
**_Father, Father_  
She was Daddy's Little Girl  
Mmmmm Oh

It went dead silent in the hall, none of us knew what to say, Hayley sat down on the floor too, hugging her legs. The first one to stand up was Josh, he walked over the floor and embraced her.

"It will be okay." He said. "It always does."

Five minutes later, I had walked with Hayley out of the audiotourium, we were both quiet. I spoke up at last, and said.

"I want you to know… that you can call me, or whatever you want to do, whenever you want. I´m here for you."

"How are you gonna understand this?" she said in an angry tone, then she spun around so she looked right at me, in her eyes, there were a mix of sorrow, anger and fear.

"Wha..." I began, but when Hayley spoke up again I silent.

"Your dad´s in prison, he hates you. Your brother and mum just showed up again after years, she left you, she hates you too. And your sister´s dead. YOU HAVE NO FAMILY." My mind went completely blank, I didn´t know what I was doing, I jumped on Hayley, hit every spot I could reach, not caring about what happened around me. I felt someone grabbing me around my stomach and pulling me back, someone else did that to Hayley. Turned out to be Mr. Schue, Tyler and Ethan behind me, I was fighting the hardest, and it took them all three to hold me, and Connor and Liam behind Hayley.

"YOU STAY THE HELL AWAY FROM TALKING ABOUT MY FAMILY." I shouted. "YOU KNOW NOTHING."

I calmed down for a second, that´s when I saw Zeb and Kathryn coming walking down the corridor.

"Go to the audiotourium" I fizzled. I knew the rest of New Directions were all around us. "GET TO THE AUDIOTOURIUM NOW." I loosened myself from Mr. Schue´s grip and walked down the hall towards Kathryn and Zeb.

"You go there too, go after them." I pointed to the New Directions. "This song´s for you … MUM." I turned around, walked with fast steps towards the audiotourium, and walked down to the stage, when I saw that everyone had sat down, I started.

_Bye, Bye, Bye  
Bye, Bye...  
__Bye, Bye...  
Oh, Oh.._

I'm doin' this tonight,  
You're probably gonna start a fight.  
I know this can't be right.  
Hey baby come on,

I loved you endlessly,  
When you weren't there for me.  
So now it's time to leave and make it alone

I know that I can't take no more  
It ain't no lie  
I wanna see you out that door  
Baby, bye, bye, bye...  
Bye Bye

Don't wanna be a fool for you  
Just another player in your game for two  
You may hate me but it ain't no lie,  
Baby, bye, bye, bye...  
Bye Bye

Don't really wanna make it tough,  
I just wanna tell you that I had enough.  
It might sound crazy,  
But it ain't no lie,  
Baby, bye, bye, bye

Just hit me with the truth,  
Now, girl you're more than welcome to.  
So give me one good reason,  
Baby come on

I live for you and me,  
And now I really come to see,  
That life would be much better once you're gone.

I know that I can't take no more  
It ain't no lie,  
I wanna see you out that door  
Baby, bye, bye, bye...  
Bye Bye

Don't wanna be a fool for you  
Just another player in your game for two  
You may hate me but it ain't no lie,  
Baby Bye, bye, bye...  
Bye Bye

Don't really wanna make it tough,  
I just wanna tell you that I had enough  
It might sound crazy,  
But it ain't no lie,  
Baby, bye, bye, bye

I'm giving up I know for sure  
I don't wanna be the reason for your love no more  
Bye Bye  
I'm checkin' out  
I'm signin' off…. 

When the door to the audiotourium opened and three shouts went through it, it silent me.

"JOSH." A woman and a man, I guessed were Alice´s and Josh´s parents had come into the room.

"MUM, DAD" I didn´t stay to look at this any longer, the New Directions were all gathered around Josh and his family, and Kathryn and Zeb were nowhere to be found.

For once, I walked through the streets from school and home alone. I walked slowly, my head down, kicked in the ground slightly a few times. After a while, I walked up on the driveway to the right house.

"Hello." I shouted after coming inside. Both Burt and Carole was home, as Burt tried to take as much free as possible, the days that Kurt and Blaine were here, and Carole had worked the night-shift. Both Kurt and Blaine were home as well, they all sat around the kitchen table.

"Josh is back." I said, and though I was really happy about that, I couldn´t manage to get any feeling in the tone. "Mr. Schue went home to get some papers he had forgotten, when he came back he brought Josh with him. I don´t know how…. I´d guess they will be on the news either tonight, or tomorrow. I… Hayley…"

"Lex, are you all right?" Carole asked.

"Yeah… yeah…fine… ehrm, where was I? oh yeah, Hayley… she… let´s forget about that part. I sang a song to… Kathryn."

"Which one?" Blaine asked.

"Oh… ehrm, bye bye bye. Nsync... But, after like, half the song, Josh´s and Alice´s parents came into the room, I… well, you get it. " I turned around, walked over to the living room and laid down on my stomach, and turned the TV on. I zapped around between the channels, before stopping at some music- video, and didn´t make a sound. Until Kurt came into the room, and sat down next to my legs on the sofa. I didn´t look at him, though I heard it was him as he was humming on some song.

"When my mum died…" he began. I looked up, I had never heard either Burt or Kurt talking about Kurt´s mum before, except that time that Burt talked about himself in short, when I first had moved here. "…I looked at other, I envied them, I asked myself the question, why can they have their mum while I can´t?.." I didn´t let Kurt finish, I turned my head.

"So if I think the same? About Alice getting Josh back when there´s almost no hope, while I can´t have Maddie? Does that make me a bad person?"

"No it doesn´t. It was never that I begrudged others to have their mum, and I know you don´t begrudge other for having their siblings either. It´s just the way you think, why can they have it and not I?"

"Is that why it feels so hard?"

"A part of it… yes. Can you find another explanation? Sometimes it feels better after talking about something."

"It´s like, I had a perfect life… well, not perfect, but I had you, Burt and Carole, Finn, Blaine, Rebeccah, I had a family, I was gonna be adopted, and I was so happy. I had my friends, the New Directions, every problem just seemed so tiny, and then something happens, and everything I´ve built up just keeps on falling apart."

"Lex…"

"Is it always gonna feel this hard?" I sat up half. "Is it always gonna be this much?" Kurt shook his head.

"No…. not as long as you keep on hanging on there. Come on," he stood up and reached out his hand, I took it and stood up too. "You need a night out, try not to think about the problems for a couple of hours."

The night with Kurt and the others actually went better than I thought it would. I had quite fun, and in the end I actually smiled, and when we came home, and Burt turned on the TV, tow watch the news, there was a reportage about Josh, the reporter was in the front of the picture and even he had a huge grin on his lips.

"It is with loads of joy, I can admit that six- year- old Josh Harper have been reunited with his parents and his older sister. Here with me, I´ve got them, and the man who found Josh and brought him to his sister earlier today, History teacher on William McKinley High School, William Schuester. So… Mr. Schuester, how did you find Josh?" The camera tilted a bit so Mr. Schue was visible on the screen, and the reporter held the microphone to his mouth.

"I was on my way back to work after getting some papers I had forgotten, when I spotted Josh sitting on the ground next to the highway, I didn´t recognize him at first, but I stopped to ask him what he was doing there, and when I stopped I recognized him. And I brought him to school where Alice was."

"Over to Josh and his family," the reporter walked, and the camera did it as well, as Alice, Josh , Mr. and Mrs. Harper came into the picture.

"So… Miss Harper, what was your first thought when you saw Josh coming?"

"I didn´t believe it."

"and what about you Mr. Harper."

"Well, my wife called me at work, told me that Alice called her… and I just ran away from a customer right away when I heard what it was, and got in the car." It was clear that Josh wanted to say something, and the reporter held the microphone down to Josh´s mouth.

"I love mum, dad, and Aliff a lot, and I miffed ´em all the time when I waf away."

"Well," the reporter put his microphone to his own mouthed, clearly touched by the emotional moment. "Let´s all take a moment and being grateful for that our loved ones are safe, now, over to the weather."

"It´s a miracle," Kurt said in a low voice. And not even Burt could pretend that he wasn´t touched by the moment.

"It´s fantastic." Blaine said.

"It is." I agreed, and this time, I really meant and was happy about what I said.

**So, in the next chapter, there are gonna be two group numbers, one number by Amy and one by Ethan. It´s going to come out who sent those letters to Ben, and there´s gonna be an explanation on why.  
Tomorrow I`m leaving London, I´m gonna be in Norway on… hmm, Tuesday. And I don´t think I´m gonna be able to use internet before that.  
Oh, and in case you missed it, June the 28:th was my 18:th birthday. **


	68. Explenations

**Sitting on a train…. again. And, oh, I forgot, the songs used in the last chap was daddy´s little girl by Frankie J, and Bye, bye, bye by Nsync. **

About lunch-time on Thursday, everyone seemed to be running towards the audiotourium, I caught Marcie on the way.

"Marcie, what´s going on?"

"Ethan´s playing something. That´s everything I know." I turned around and jogged into the audiotourium, and it was true, Ethan sat by the piano on the stage, and when everyone had arrived, he started talking.

"It has come to my knowledge, that someone, has been leaving letters in my brother´s locker. Letters questioning whether we are brothers or not. And I´ve found this song, to show to Ben, and to all of you others, that the fact that Ben is adopted, doesn´t mean anything. We´ve also got Mariah Smith on the piano here. Let´s kick it." Mariah started playing the intro to the song, as Ethan grabbed the microphone with his both hands, and started when it was time.

_Like a shelter in the storm, I´ll keep you warm  
Know that you always can count on me  
When everything fails, I´ll be the wind in your sails  
Know that you always can count on me_

_With you I am strong  
I feel ten feet tall  
If things go wrong you´re there to break my fall_

_It´s not our colors  
It´s not our raise  
That makes us brothers  
No matter what we might face  
It´s not our last name, not the blood in our veins  
That makes us brothers  
The love we share makes us the same._

_Like the ground you walk on so solid and strong  
Know that you always can count on me  
Anything that you need, even the air that I breathe  
Know that you always can count on me_

_With you I am strong  
I feel ten feet tall  
If things go wrong you´re there to break my fall_

_It´s not our colors  
It´s not our raise  
That makes us brothers  
No matter what we might face  
It´s not our last name, not the blood in our veins  
That makes us brothers  
The love we share makes us the same._

_I want you to know, in my eyes you´re a hero  
And I can´t imagine a life without  
And if tomorrow never comes, I´ll thank you for today_

_It´s not our colors  
It´s not our raise  
That makes us brothers  
No matter what we might face  
It´s not our last name, not the blood in our veins  
That makes us brothers  
The love we share makes us the same._

_It´s not our colors  
It´s not our raise  
That makes us brothers  
No matter what we might face  
It´s not our last name, not the blood in our veins  
That makes us brothers  
The love we share makes us the same_

Ethan stopped singing, Mariah stopped playing, and everyone in the room started clapping. There were standing ovations, and without caring that everyone would see, Ben got up on the stage and hugged his brother.

Later that day, it was time for glee club. We were all in the choir room, when Mr. Schue came in.

"Hello Glee- clubbers." He said and placed his bag on the piano. I was thinking we could use today to talk about what problems we had in the beginning of the week. And how things are working out with them…. Anyone…."

"Mr. Schue?" Amy raised her hand. "I´ve actually got a song to preform, I was hoping I could do it today."

"The floor´s yours?"

"Anyway, I had a little brother… another one…" she laughed. "Two weeks ago, and it´s not a problem, but I hoped I could perform this anyways. Brad?" she looked back, Brad nodded, and started playing.

_You and I must make a pact, we must bring salvation back  
Where there is love, I'll be there_

_I'll reach out my hand to you, I'll have faith in all you do  
Just call my name and I'll be there_

_And oh - I'll be there to comfort you,  
Build my world of dreams around you, I'm so glad that I found you  
I'll be there with a love that's strong  
I'll be your strength, I'll keep holding on - yes I will, yes I will_

_Let me fill your heart with joy and laughter  
Togetherness, well that's all I'm after  
Whenever you need me, I'll be there  
I'll be there to protect you, with an unselfish love I respect you  
Just call my name and I'll be there_

_If you should ever find someone new, I know he'd better be good to you  
'Cos if he doesn't, I'll be there_

_Don't you know, baby, yeah yeah  
I'll be there, I'll be there, just call my name, I'll be there_

_I'll be there, I'll be there, whenever you need me, I'll be there_

_Don't you know, baby, yeah yeah_

"Yeah…" Johnny started. "That was really go…" he was interrupted when Anna came running through the door, she seemed to be stumbling on her own feet and she fell to the floor, her bag was open, and when she fell, papers spread across the floor. Ben, Ethan and Mr. Schue, as the gentlemen they all were, stood up all three, and when Mr. Schue made sure Anna was all right, and helped her up. Ethan and Ben tried to gather all her papers.

"Anna?" Ben said with a folded paper in his hand. "Why does this have my name on it?"

"I… I…" Anna stuttered. But we all knew the truth "I found it."

"It was you!" Ben said. "You left all those letters in my locker, didn´t you?" Ethan stood next to Ben. He was angry and disappointed I could tell, Mr. Schue and Ben too.

"Why did you do it Anna? And why do you keep on writ…" Ethan began, but Anna interrupted.

"That letter´s an apology, everything´s explained in it."

"Oh no…" Mr. Schue said. "You did this, now I want you to look Ben in the eyes, and tell him, exactly why you did it." Anna nodded, took a step forward, took a deep breath, and started talking.

"You´ve got everything I´ve ever wanted. You may be adopted, but who cares, your parents they take care of you, they love you. Your big brother is a real role model who loves you more than anything else. My parents, they´re nice and so, but they just work all the time, and my brother moved to California to live with his stupid girlfriend as soon as he´d quit high school. You´re a nice guy, you make friends, everybody likes you. I´ve never had an easy time making friends, and about that time when you told us you are adopted. I met Lacey Landon and her gang. They wanted me in their gang, and I wanted friends. But they wanted me to do something mean, as a test to see if I was bold enough to be a part of their gang. And then she said, that if I stopped doing it, I wasn´t gonna be a part of the gang anymore… That was why I was late today… I quit the gang, and I was gonna put that letter in your locker, but it was an apology, and it was gonna be the last one I swear. I´m sorry I hurt you Ben, and I´m sorry I caused you so much trouble."

"You and I are gonna talk about what you did Anna!" Mr. Schue said, "but first… over to what I thought today was gonna go to. Talk about which problems we had in our families, and how things are working out."

"In the beginning of this week, I just wanted to know who my real family was…." Ben began. "Now I realized I´ve got them right here."

"I was worrying for Ben." Ethan ruffled in his brother´s hair. "But now, that he´s all right, I´m too."

"I was getting sad because my dad´s leaving for Kosovo again soon" Marcie said. "But it´s only for a short matter of time, and I´m kind of used to it. Now I`m gonna concentrate on spending as much time as possible with him before he leaves."

"We are still afraid of getting split up…." Liam said. "But we´ve realized it´s maybe for the best, I´m gonna share a flat with Ethan, she with one of our cousins from New York, so there´s no way we´ll be alone. And in the main time, maybe we could meet other people. And we´ll see each other on the holidays."

"I was afraid that my new brother Adam, wasn´t gonna make it when they took the respirator away, he was born too soon. But now it´s gone and the doctor says he´s never seen such strong lungs on a new- born." Amy said.

"Josh´s back with his family." Mr. Schue said, because Alice wasn´t here today. "I´ve been talking to them today, they said that Josh has been having a bit of nightmares tonight, but apart from that, and a couple of bruises, he´s unhurt. And all back to the one he was before."

"Have anyone talked to Hayley?" Connor asked. "Lex?"

"Not since she was talking out about my family." I muttered.

"Please Lex, you´re not mad at her for that are you?" Tyler asked. "You know she´s going through something rough right now."

"Who doesn´t?" I mumbled.

"What did you say?" Tyler asked. I shook my head.

"Never mind, it wasn´t important."

"So…" Mr. Schue spoke up. "Are we done for today?" The others nodded, I didn´t do anything. But when I started walking home, I told Tyler and Connor I wanted to be alone, and walked home alone.

**Tyler pov **

I didn´t really get what was going on with Lex right now, yes, her mum and brother were back, but it had been a week, and she hadn´t been like this for the first days. Yes, she was more emotional than usual, but not like now. Suddenly a thought hit me. I face-palmed

"God, I`m such an idiot." I said. "Come on Connor, we go to the hospital, I need to talk to Carole, and I think she´ll be there. God, how did I not see this? All this trouble with Lex´s mum must have messed up this whole adoption thing. How could I be so blind?" We walked home to my place and in my car.

"Excuse me." I said when I got in the reception. "Is Nurse Hudson working today?"

"Yes… but you need to sit down in the waiting area and wait for your turn." The receptionist said.

"Please, I need to see Carole, she´s my girlfriend´s foster mum, I really need to talk to her."

"Listen young man," finally the receptionist looked at me. "Either you sit down in the waiting area and wait for your turn until someone is free to take you, whether it´s gonna be nurse Hudson or someone else, I can´t tell. Or, you go home to her, and wait until she comes home. Or, you keep on nagging, and I´ll call the police"

"Plea…" I began, but then a voice I recognized was heard.

"Tyler? Connor?" Carole came walking down the hall. "What´s going on, are you okay? Is Lex okay?" I held up my hands to silent her.

"We´re all fine. I just need to ask you some things, can we please go somewhere more private?" Carole nodded, and led me and Connor into one of the examine rooms, where we sat down and I asked Carole about the things I wanted to know.

**Lex pov, late evening same day**

I laid on my stomach in the sofa, watching something I barely knew what it was, when my phone beeped. I reached for it, and read it.

_My dad died this evening, at seven thirty, his favorite part of the day.  
Could you ask Mr. S if i´s ok if ND sings at the funeral, it´s gonna be next Friday, could you also tell the others in ND. Please don´t call, I don´t wanna talk right now.  
I´m sorry for what I said.  
Hayley _

I kept on staring at my phone, not knowing whether I should answer it or not.

"Lex?" Carole asked at last. "Lex? What´s going on?"

"Hayley´s dad died earlier today." I said, pressed the "answer" button and quickly dialed.

_I´m so sorry for you. You can call me whenever you want, I´ll tell the others and talk to Mr. Schue.  
Let´s forget about that, it doesn´t matter  
Lex _

**I feel sorry for Hayley, ****. Anyway, I´m sitting on another train, if anyone wants to know how the rest of my trip goes, I´m currently on the train from Gothenburg to Oslo, I´m staying in Oslo to tomorrow afternoon I think, and then we´re going on a train to Trondheim (if anyone wants to know, we´re in Norway) and then another train from Trondheim to Bodö, and then a big boat called the hurtigruta (Google it if you wanna know more.) to Stamsund (boat for four hours) and then we´re staying in Stamsund for… about a week and a half, and then we´re going home with car.  
Anyways…. The songs are I´ll be there, by Jackson five (I think) and brothers (so cute song, check it out) by Ola Svensson (woho, Sweden) **


End file.
